Crack by Crazys
by WatchingYou
Summary: Strange Naruto crack storys by me and some by my friend. Great for your daily dose of crack fanfiction. -New chapter: 50th Chapter Award Show Special-
1. Gaara the Strange

Name: Strange story's by my pal

Genre: Humor/general

Summery: strange naruto storys written by my friend then e-mailed to me

Note: these storys where written by my friend and e-mailed to me! She is having me publish them  
:)

GAARA THE WEIRD

Gaara, the much adored yet feared Fourth Kazekage of Sunagakure, was taking a stroll. He was whistling happily to himself and drinking cold pink lemonade.

"What a happy day it is in the Sand Village," he thought.

"Perhaps TOO happy..."

In an uncharacteristic move, (Note: well, at least ever since he met that idiot Naruto and became a nice guy) Gaara decided to go on a killing spree.

"I have not gone on a killing spree in a while," muttered Gaara to himself. "Although I do not fight for only myself anymore, I should indulge myself once in a while." Our fellow here did not want to kill his people of Sunagakure, however. That would involve killing his siblings as well.

He did not want to kill off Konoha, either, because he found that too boring.

So he decided to kill Sasuke.

"Because," Gaara figured, "Sasuke is a jerk and SERIOUSLY needs to be beaten up in a while."

So Gaara traveled around on a pile of floating sand and found Sasuke and his funny-looking hair training intensely.

"Hello, Sasuke, my best buddy!" called out Gaara.

Sasuke looked up in surprise. When he realized who it was, his face broke out in a wide smile.

"Hello, Gaara, my old friend! It's so great to see you! What brings you all the way to this barren, hot, dry, and dangerous territory of Orochimaru?"

"Well, Sasuke, I was bored, and decided to kill you for fun!"

"Gee, Gaara, I don't want that!" Why don't we settle our problems over a nice cup of tea and a plate of biscuits?"

Gaara pondered this for a moment. "That's a great idea, Sasuke! But instead of tea, let's drink pink lemonade. It will cool you down after all of that intense training you're doing there!"

"Okay, Gaara, my BEST BUDDY!"

The two reunited friends left arm-in-arm to sip cold pink lemonade and eat biscuits and solve all their problems peacefully.

THE END

Me: oooooookkkkk then, that was strange!


	2. Hugs are evil

Name: Strange story's by my pal!

Summery: strange naruto storys written by my friend then e-mailed to me

Note: Yay chapter 2 Oh and Haley is an OC based off me!

There once was a girl named Haley. She had pink hair.

This Haley girl was walking around Konoha village, sipping cold pink lemonade. It was, after all, the middle of winter. As everyone knows, that is the best time to sip cold pink lemonade and stroll around in the freezing cold.

Oh, yes.

But Haley was not content. "I am not content," said Haley. "I must..."

"HUG PEOPLE!!!!"

So Haley decided to hug people, as most people would have already figured out by now, since she spontaneously screamed that she was going to hug people.

Her fist victim was Sakura. Sakura Haruno has pink hair. Haley has pink hair.

"SAKURA, YOU ARE A POSER!" Haley cried while squeezing Sakura in a death grip.

Sakura died.

Haley giggled to herself. "Hahahahaha... that fool is now DEAD! Let's hug somebody else!"

Haley entered the lovely Konoha ninja school of doom. She saw Orochimaru playing with puppets and barbies.

"Helllllooooooo, my favorite antagonist!" screamed Haley as she hugged Orochimaru. Orochimaru turned into a mushroom. He was that scared.

Meanwhile, Kakashi, that strange man with white hair who always covers his face, saw what was happening.

"Oh no, that girl is going to kill us all!" he thought.

So he sent Naruto to stop the girl with his lovely Rasengan attack. Naruto failed. He was hugged by the pink-haired Haley and died.

Haley ended up killing the entire world. She was unstoppable with her hugs.

That's how evil hugs are

The end!

Oooookkkk more strangeness


	3. Evil hinata

Name; strange story's by my pal

Note: YAY the next chapter!

Story starts here

Hinata Hyuuga always seemed like a sweet little girl. She _is _a sweet little girl. After all, she is made of waterproof cotton candy. Taste her and see.  
Her soul, on the other hand, is quite the opposite...  
Oh, you _thought_ she was a shy, cute adolescent with an abnormally high-pitched voice but NO!... She is the epitome of evil.  
You will see.  
Right now.

Hinata was sitting in a dark room. Dark rooms always seem more sinister than bright rooms. To follow our theme of Hinata being evil, I have decided to place her in a dark room.

"Meheheheheh! I am totally evil!" muttered Hinata. See?

"I shall plan the destruction of Konoha, as way too many people have already tried before me to the point that it is completely old and unoriginal by now, but that I will do anyway! Nee-ha-ha!"

"How shall I do it? Shall I kill by hugging people? It's a very efficient method, after all..."  
But Hinata Hyuuga decided against that. Hugging people required... _physical contant with humans._ Unthinkable. Verbal interaction is already bad enough.  
So she devised a typical evil, villainous plan. She decided to blow up the village.  
How? With bombs, of course. None of those measly "exploding tags". Exploding tags are silly.  
This cotton candy girl of ours now needed a plane. Bombs must be dropped from a plane. Why? because that is what villains do. Hooray.  
Hinata set out to find a plane. On the way, she met Naruto, that strange blond fellow who is named after a food. How many parents name their kids after foods? I have yet to meet one... I'd want to be named "Grilled Lobster". _That _would be a cool name.

"Hello, Hinata, my love. What are you up to on this very fine day?" asked Naruto happily. He had just eaten ramen. It's an obsession of his.

"Oh nothing, just planning the destruction of Konoha," answered Hinata in an equally pleasant tone.

"What?! Not before I stop you!" cried Naruto. He created several shadow clones, because that is what he does every single time he fights.  
Hinata beat them all up. And she beat the real Naruto up. All of those times where she seemed to have a crush on Naruto... it was all an act. After all, she is pure evil.

"Nee-ha-ha! Now all I have to do is find an airplane!" shouted Hinata in triumph.

"But... Hinata... you can't... planes... haven't... been... invented... yet..." Those were Naruto's last words. Hinata had beat him up pretty well.

"_WHAT?!_"

And then, all of Hinata's plans were thwarted. She should of realized the village's lack of technology. After all, people were still riding around on _horses!_ Goodness gracious. There is no substitute for a villain's evil jet!  
And so the world was saved from Hinata the Decievingly Nice Though Truly Very Evil... for now. But when airplanes are invented in the world of _Naruto_... watch out, fellas! 


	4. The Dog Boy

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Hello, people! I decided to try and right a crazy random funny story like my friend! Tell me if it's good like her's (my friends) or if I should stick to righting normal stories!

Here is my story … Now!

---------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------- ---------------------

The Dog Boy

Everyone thought that Kiba was your normal Ninja boy, but you where wrong! He is the super hero do g boy! Dog Boy… What a stupid name for a super hero but anyway there was … ummm. A fire no waits a robbery! Dog boy to the rescue and like all good super hero's he needs a custom, so he dresses in a white shirt that with black sleeves and tight black pants. Anyway back to the thief, he had robbed the ramen shop!

"I shall stop you!" Dog boy yelled at the thief. The thief turned around and Dog boy saw it was a mushroom! With legs and arms too, (What a stupid villain)

"HA! You will lose mushroom because I have stack sauce!" Dog boy Shouted loudly.

"NOOOO! Stack sauce, every mushrooms one weakness but how did you know?!" The mushroom said in a deep voice. Wait a mushroom with a face, arms, legs and that talks? So if you ate it would it be vegetarian or not? Anyway Dog boy threw the sauce on the mushroom and it screamed in pain.

"I knew because the birds told me!" Dog boy said.

A Bird landed on a nearby tree saying "ha ha ha, Mushrooms lose to stack sauce." The Bird Continued to laugh as it flew off.

"Curse you bird! I thought I could trust you… But no matter I will beat you dog boy!" The mushroom said but then Kiba I mean Dog Boy just smirked.

"I know your other weakness?" Dog Boy said.

"But I only have one!" The mushroom said.

"No, you have another!" Dog boy said. He ran up to the mushroom and ate it! Oh yay, eating your enemies is the best way to go. I mean if Naruto just ate the sound ninja he could get to Sasuke! Dog Boy quickly ran away and changed to hide his secret life of Dog Boy! But any time talking plants with legs and arms invade the village Dog Boy will be there to help! He will eat and use stack sauce on them tell he's full and out of sauce! You can count on this plant eating ninja boy.


	5. Itachi Like's Carrots

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you fool!  
Notes: This story goes out to my friend who wrote the first three stories. We made a bet and I lost so she said I had to write a story with at least 1,000 words about why Itachi and carrots!

Crack story number five: Itachi likes carrots**. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

Itachi sat in the corner of his room in the Akatsuki lair. As you know Itachi is everyone's favorite little emo-murder weasel And I know nothing about the Akatsuki's hideout or whatever they have so I'm giving them a lair. So anyway he sat in the corner rocking back and forth. I bet you wonder why… It's because someone stole his carrots! –Insert dramatic noise/music here- And as you didn't know Itachi love's carrots.

"I LOVE my carrots but there gone" He shouted loudly before breaking into tears. The fish stick- I mean Kisame walked in the room before seeing his teammate in the corner bawling. Before mister fish face could say anything Itachi tackled him to the ground.

"YOU STOLE MY CARROTS DIDN'T YOU!?" Itachi shouted. Clearly he has a problem….

"What no! I'm a shark and I'm allergic to carrots" Kisame answered. But this was useless to say as Itachi had ripped kisame's clothes off and was searching them for carrots. Kisame screamed like a girl and used a nearby pillow as a sensor. Clearly he had not been wearing under ware beneath his clock and he could not walk around naked as that would scar everyone for life, especially since he's a shark (search online about male sharks and reproduction.) Itachi sniffed the air and seem interested.

"I'm interested…" He stated "You smell like carrots but have none… DID YOU EAT THEM!?"

"No! I don't like carrots…"

"Oh…" Itachi said before charging off and searching all of the hide-out for his carrots. First he decided to check Hidan and Kakuzu's room. He barged in their room without knocking first. Boy he's rude… Hidan was performing some ritual and Kakuzu was counting money.

"Itachi what are you doing here you…" Hidan started followed by him cursing at Itachi.

"YOU TOOK ME CARROTS DIDN'T YOU?! You religious little pig!" Itachi screamed at Hidan.

"I didn't take your carrots" Hidan shouted back. Itachi glared before jumping at Kakuzu knocking them both down. The money Kakuzu had been counting was now on the ground.

"Get off of me" Kakuzu said before pushing off the crazed murdered of and away from himself. Itachi ran around the room on all fours sniffing the ground and the air.

"There not here" Itachi said before crying and running out to check the next room. Next was Tobi and Deidara's room. He opened the door and no one was in there. The room was full of clay sculptures and strange things like that in it. He had just finished searching the room when he knocked over one of the clay things and BAM! It blew up causing a chain reaction blowing up everything else. The room now had burn marks on the walls and floors and a plant had been burn to a crisp. Itachi ran of the room with the happy thought that the carrots where not in there and had not been burnt. Although he was pretty sure that Deidara would be pissed. He ran to the next room belonging to Zetsu. Zetsu was sitting on his bed snacking on a person that had been killed early. You really needed that mental picture didn't you?

"Did YOU take my carrots you plant freak?" Itachi shouted towards Zetsu.

"I eat people not plants" Zetsu stated as he finished the body he was eating. Itachi searched the room anyway knocking over plants that Zetsu had been growing for months, Followed by Zetsu kicking Itachi out Itachi. As he walked down the hallway he heard something coming.

"I didn't do it Deidara-sempai!! I'm a good boy" Tobi said running down the hallway past Itachi.

"I know you blew up are room you idiot!" Deidara shouted angrily chasing Tobi. Itachi _giggled_ at this sight. That idiot, what kind of crazy murder giggles? But anyway the only rooms he had left to check where Konan's and Pain's. But he was unsure about this I mean it was his leader and the leader's girlfriend-I mean "partner." He made his way to Konan's room and thankfully no one was in it. He began to search the room. He got to the dresser and heard a scream when he started looking through her underwear drawer. He looked over a saw a mad Konan standing at the entrance. Itachi dropped the underwear he was holding and ran as he was chased through the halls. He learned that you should never piss of Konan because she's fast. After a slight beating from Konan he concluded the carrots where not in her room. He decided to take a break for lunch before searching pain's room. He was about to open the door when heard something coming from inside. He stopped and listened for a minute and heard what sounded like a moan. He opened the door slightly to look in and saw Konan and Pain keeping themselves 'Busy' if you know what I mean ;D. Itachi yelled by mistake and caused Konan and Pain to yell as the saw Itachi was looking at them. Itachi screamed and ran back to his room and locked the door. He waited there in fear for about an hour before he heard something.

"Oh Itachi… come on out…" He heard a voice say. He opened the door slightly and saw the other members of the akatsuki. Deidara and Tobi looked pissed about their room (after having figured out that it was Itachi's fault.) Zetsu was there still made about his plants. Hidan was just well being Hidan. Kakuzu was mad about his money. Pain and Konan where ticked about Itachi walking in on them and Konan was also mad about the 'underwear stealing' Itachi. While Kisame stood out there only in a pair of underwear he had grabbed which was all he had because Itachi had ripped his clock. They all looked really pissed at Itachi.

"Now come on guys you're not still mad are you" Itachi said nervously as the members went in the room walking towards him slowly. I would say what happens next but it would be rated-m for blood, gore, and a violent beating of Itachi. Poor little emo-murder weasel… After being beaten Itachi found that his carrots under the bed later that night...


	6. What?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all, got it?  
Notes: Woot! Hello again people, here's a crack story by my friend who wrote the first 3 stories. We shall call her 'V' From now on (since that's how you pronounce her name real anyway) So I bring you Crack story 6

Story Info:  
name-WHAT?  
Rating: T for a joking sort of yaoi kind of thing… Oh And Spoiler warning! and Curseing...

So now I bring you: WHAT? By "V" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shikamaru sat by the Shogi board, playing Shogi. (Since that's what you do with a Shogi board.)  
He was bored. Why was Shikamaru bored? Well, he only knew two board games: Shogi... and Go. And he had played them both…. Thus the boredom. Sasuke crashed through the roof of the house. As this was a common occurrence, Shikamaru remained unmoved. That's how bored he was.

"Helloooo, Shikamaru!" Sasuke crooned in an attempt to act seductive.

"Damn-it, Sasuke, I've told you I'm straight," replied our hero. Sasuke kept his cool, but inside he was heartbroken. Shattered to pieces... like an egg... (A broken one, that is)

"So what's goin' ON, Shika?!"

"I'm bored. I've played these board games too much, and ever since Asuma died, I have no one to play with..."

"Hey... I'LL play with you..." Sasuke tried to wink and act sexy. It was a sight equivalent to seeing Orochimaru trying to perform a pole dance. In other words, it was disgusting.

"Sasuke, I'm NOT GAY. If you wanted a lover, you should have kept Orochimaru alive, huh?"  
And now Sasuke's heart crumbled to dust. DOUBLE REJECTION!

"Well, Shikamaru, if you want a new board game, I have the perfect thing for you!"

"What?!" Shikamaru said in astonishment.

"Yeah... you like strategy right? Exciting battles of intellect and cool calculations in the midst of fighting, right?"

"...right?..." replied Shikamaru in slight confusion, but Sasuke had already ran off. He returned moments later carrying a large box.

"What... is that?" Shikamaru said breathlessly. He could feel a power emanating from the box... that spoke of hours of gaming to come... Sasuke unveiled the box dramatically.

"Dungeons... and Dragons." And thus was the beginning of a whole new gaming movement.


	7. Internet…

Name: Crack By Crazys  
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the song. :D!

Info:

Story name: Internet…

Rating: T for talk of Adult theme (nothing too bad just the song)

Author: Me XD this is not the kind of thing V would write.

Note: I know Naruto times have no Internet but I could not resist doing this XD! This takes place whenever. Oh god, I'm typing this with my dad on the computer right behind me. He knows I right fanfiction but he doesn't know it's anything like this. XD!!

**Important**: Bold text is singing and I'm changing the lyrics just a little (just the names to match the characters.) (None-singing will be normal the text. (Because there are normal talking parts in the song) oh and the (-name-) after the words is who is singing it because there gets to be like 6 people.

- - - -Internet… by TheSulkingWolf- - - -- - - - - -

Hinata walked into the small class room of younger students. She was offered a chance to teach a class of young students along with help of Neji. She smiled and got in front of the class bright red. The best of all it was in song!

"Finally, I get to teach a whole lesson all by myself and I'm gonna teach something relevant; something modern, the internet!" Hinata began.

"**The internet is really, really great**!" (Hinata)

"**For porn**!" Neji song interrupting Hinata.

"**I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait**." (Hinata)

"**For porn**" (Neji)

"Huh?** There's always some new site"** (Hinata)

"**For porn!" **(Neji)

"**I browse all day and night**" (Hinata)

"**For porn!" **(Neji)

"**It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light**" (Hinata)

"**For porn!" **(Neji)

"NEJI!" Hinata was getting to get annoyed with Neji.

"**The internet is for porn**!" (Neji)

"Neji!" (Hinata)

"**The Internet is for porn!" **(Neji)

"What are you doing?!" (Hinata)

"**Why you think the net was born? Porn, porn, porn!" **(Neji)**  
**

"Nejjjiiiii" (Hinata)

"Oh hello Hinata!" (Neji)

"You are ruining my song!" (Hinata)

"Oh me sorry, me no mean to." (Neji)

"Well if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?" (Hinata)

"Me no talkie!" (Neji)

"Good!** I'm glad we have this new technology!" **(Hinata)

"**For porn!" **(Neji)

"**Which gives us untold opportunity!**" (Hinata)

"**For por**--oops, sorry" (Neji)

"**Right from you own desktop." **(Hinata)

"For—" (Neji)

"**You can research browse and shop until you've had enough and your ready to stop!" **(Hinata)

"**FOR PORN!!" **(Neji)

"Neji!" (Hinata)

**"The Internet is for porn!" **(Neji)

"Noooooo!" (Hinata)

"**The internet if for porn**!" (Neji)  
**  
**"Neji…" (Hinata)

"**Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!" **(Neji)

"That's gross, you're a pervert!" (Hinata)

"Ah, sticks and stones Hinata!" (Neji)

**"**No really, you're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home looking at porn on the internet." (Neji)

"Ooooh?" (Neji)

"What?! (Hinata)

"You have no idea, ready normal people?" Neji said. Just then Naruto, Lee, Kiba, and Shikamaru burst in the room and stood next to Neji.

"Ready!" Three of the guys said.

"Let me hear it!" (Neji)

"**The internet is for porn!" **(Guys)

"Sorry Hinata" (Naruto)

"**The Internet is for porn!" **(Guys)

"I masturbate!" (Naruto)

"**All these guys unzip their flies for, (Neji) porn, porn, porn! (Guys)**"

"The internet is not for porn!!" (Hinata)

"**Porn, porn, por—" **(Guys)

"HOLD ON A SECOUND!! Now I know for a fact that you, Lee, check your portfolio and trade stocks online." (Hinata)

"That's correct." (Lee)

"And Shikamaru, you buy things on ." (Hinata)

"Sure!" (Shikamaru)

"And Kiba, you keep selling your possessions on Ebay…" (Hinata)

"Yes I do!" (Kiba)

"And Naruto, you sent me that sweet online birthday card!" (Hinata)

"True!" (Naruto)

"Oh, but Hinata- What you think he do . . .after? Hmm?" (Neji)

"…Yeah" (Naruto)

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!" (Hinata)

"**The internet is for porn!" **(Guys)

"Gross!" (Hinata)

"**The Internet is for porn!" **(Guys)

"I hate porn!" (Hinata)

"**Grab your ****dick and double click** (Neji)"

"**For porn, porn, porn!" **(Guys)

"I hate men!" (Hinata)

**"For porn, porn, porn!** (Harmonizing) **porn, porn, porn, porn!" **(Guys)

"I'm leaving!" Hinata said but she only walked away a little and did not leave.**  
****  
"****Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn****!" **(Guys)

"I hate the internet!" (Hinata)

"**Porn, porn, porn, porn!" **(Guys)

"**The internet is for –"**(Neji)

"**The internet is for-"**(Neji, Lee and Kiba)

**"The internet is for porn!" **(All the guys, Neji, Lee, Kiba, Naruto, and Shikamaru)

"YEAH!!" (Neji)

-Song over-

Hinata was red by the end of the song. Partly out of embarrassment and partly because anger. But it was mostly anger at the moment. But then the group remembered something important… They were in front of a group of young kids. This was going to take a lot of explaining and probably involve angry parents.


	8. Chorus sucks

Name: Crack by Crazys!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Notes _**-IMPORTANT-**_: All right! This story is by me based off a dream I had. For those of you who don't know Wolf is basically my anime form seen in Ask the mew mew's (1 and 2).

Chapter name: Chorus sucks.  
Rating: K+ for murder attempts.  
Written by: Me :), V is in Canada right now…

Chorus sucks written by TheSulkingWolf **OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**Are setting shows a class (around 25-30) normal students in a chorus room singing in preparation for there up-coming concert. The two students that stand out (yet know one is staring at or anything) are emo-boy Sasuke and a young (around 15 or so) wolf demon girl. (Simply called Wolf), Wolf was wearing a black sleeve-less top and long gray pants that had a small whole for her black wolf tail with the white tip to stick out of. Her dyed-blue hair was hung normally with her wolf ears sticking up.

"Sasuke, Wolf" McCarter the female chorus teacher called. "You two are doing so good that you should go outside and run laps!"

"Okay!" Wolf said hoping off the steel risers that everyone was on.

"Whatever…" Sasuke said as he followed Wolf. The two got to the front parking lot of the school, (it was a large area. The center had parking spots for the busses when they came to pick up the students and there were some normal spots around the end farthest from the school for cars.) The two ran laps for around 10 minutes before McCarter showed up outside. But the strange thing was she was holding a large machine-gun type device.

"What's that?" Sasuke questioned the teacher.

"Why it's to destroy you! Mwhahahah" McCarter said. She pointed the gun at the ground behind Sasuke and Wolf and fired four shots hitting four different places, the four areas where in a square around Wolf and Sasuke.

"What did that do?" Wolf asked her ears twitching in confusion. Just then four large holes appeared where the gun hit shooting out lava. The ground Wolf and Sasuke shot up in the air for some reason leaving the two stranded on a square of rock held up by a large stone pilled surrounded by lava.

"Hah! That can't kill us" Sasuke said. He grabbed Wolf like a potato sack and threw her over his shoulder. Using his special ninja-ness he was able to jump from the pillar to the top of the school. (Which for some reason the lava could not burn through.)

"Put me down!" Wolf growled before Sasuke blushed dropping her.

"Tricky, kids…" McCarter said. Sasuke looked over and shall McCarter had been able to jump onto the roof.

"Fire style, fireball jutsu!" Sasuke shouted sending a large ball of fire at McCarter. The fire hit McCarter and she let out a high pitched screech as she disappeared in a large ball of black smoke leaving only a pile of ash and the gun.

"Wow, you just turned are chorus teacher into ash… Want to get some lunch?" Wolf asked totally switching subjects.

"Sure" Sasuke said as he threw Wolf over his shoulder again jumping off the schools room. He put Wolf down and the two walked towards the rest of the town area to buy lunch somewhere.


	9. Mika is a Good Girl

Name: Crack by Crazys!  
Disclaimer: I Don't own anything!

Notes: This was written by me. This story is dedicated to my friends SukiraOfTheLight (Mika) And Morning's Child. (MC)

Story name: Mika is a "good girl"…  
Rating: T just to be safe

**-.-.-Mika is a "Good Girl" By TheSulkingWolf.-.-.-.  
**One day in the wonderful leaf village there was a happy girl name Mika. Mika had hair that was half black and half white and dressed in a normal ninja way. She looked normal on the outside (if you didn't count that fact that she had cat ears and a tail.) But the truth was that Mika …. Is… completely…. INSANE!!

"I'm INSANE" She shouted. See what I mean? Now Mika had a big crush on Naruto but knew Hinata liked it him so she headed to Hinata's house….

"Hinata! You will not steal my man" Mika shouted from the door way of the room Hinata was in.

"W-What?" Hinata asked confused. Before Mika tackled and dragged her to Kiba's house.

"Date Kiba, he's better for you" Mika said throwing Hinata at Kiba. Then Mika headed down to team seven's training ground and shall the oh so wonderful Sasuke. (He's not really that special…)  
**  
"**You stole my man's first kiss! I shall put you through the worst torment" Mika shouted at Sasuke before picking him you and running to a place full of fangirls. The fangirls all ganged hearts in there and tackled Sasuke like the harpies they are as Mika there Sasuke in. She then ran to the ramen shop and found the pink haired freak. I mean who has natural pink hair?! It's crazy…

"My man likes you! DIE" Mika shouted attacking Sakura. Sakura being the weakling she is just pulled out a kunai like she does in every dumb single pre-time skip fight… But Mika took down the freak easily and 

took her to the river and threw in it.

"MWHAHAHAHA!" Mika laughed as she finally found Naruto training. "I finally have you to myself." Naruto looked truly confused at Mika before seeing what Mika had done to everyone.

"So now what" Naruto asked the insane girl hugging him.

"Let's go… BUG MORNING'S CHILD!" Mika shouted happy to bug her somewhat annoying sort-of friend. Mika and Naruto ran until the found a boy in Ninja clothes. Like Mika this boy had cat ears but this boy had two tails instead on of one.

"Hello my annoying male friend" Mika shouted hugging the boy Morning's Child (who everyone called MC)

"Mika… Did you take your meds today?" MC asked staring questioningly and the girl.

"Maybeeeeeeeeeeeee" Mika said looking around.

"Right..."

"Now what?"Naruto asked. The other two looked at Naruto and each other for a second before shouting.

"DANCE PARTY!" Both shouted at the same time. Music started to play from no were and everyone started to dance. But it was interrupted by Tobi crashing out of the sky. (Because he's strange like that…)

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"NOO! Mika's a good girl" Mika said copying Tobi.

"No you're not" MC said bleakly.

"Oooh… Never mind then!" Mika said punching MC. Tobi then ran off to do whatever it is he does before everyone started to dance again.

"Mika…" Mika heard some people say. She turned to see a mad; Sakura, Sasuke, Hinata, Kiba, a lot of angry fangirls and for some reason Tobi.

"Guys can't we talk about this?" Mika said as everyone walked closer to her with weapons drawn.

"No…" Some said before everyone charged at Mika.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm a good girl" Mika shouted running away from the angry mob.

"No you're not" MC shouted as Mika ran by him again.

"Shut up!"


	10. Night of the Yaoi

Name: Crack by Crazys!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Story name: Night of the yaoi!  
Story rating: T for sexual references, yaoi, and something else that just makes it T!  
Author: Me, I should convince my friend to write more!

Note: I'd like to thank Mika aka SukiraOfTheLight for this story idea! xD, you said you wanted crack yaoi so here it is... Well i'm not so sure if it's too crackish but its to short to post as a one-shot so it goes here!

Night of the Yaoi by TheSulkingWolf... **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**(Warning: story is rated T for a reason)**

Sakura walked towards Naruto's house after training with Kakashi. Sasuke and Naruto hadn't shown up at training so Sakura wanted to find them. She started with Naruto's house since it was closer. She got at the door and knocked on the door making it open up as if it was unlocked. What kind of idiot leaves there front door unlocked?

"Naruto? You in here?" Sakura asked quietly walking inside the house. She looked around the small building and Naruto seemed nowhere to be found. She figured he was probably at the ramen stand stuffing his face. What's with him and ramen? I don't see what makes it so special… Sakura arrived at the Ramen stand and Naruto was still nowhere in sight. It was starting to get dark out too…

"Excuse me! Have you seen Naruto?" Sakura asked the man working at the stand. The man knew Naruto since he always was there eating.

"No I haven't sorry" The man replied. Sakura sighed to herself and walk towards the large, now very empty Uchiha household that Sasuke lived in alone. The boy gets the entire thing to himself because of Itachi killing everyone like he did. Sakura though that maybe if see could find Sasuke they could find Naruto together. She let out a fangirl giggle and opened the door. Why don't these people lock their doors? For ninja they sure are stupid. She walked inside and started to look through the household. She thought that they were not there until she reached the upstairs and heard a strange noise coming from inside one of the rooms. She walked up to the door and was about to knock on it when she heard a noise coming from inside. She stood close to the door and tried to listen to see if she could hear it again…

"Ooooh Sasuke" She heard a voice moan. But the strange part was it sounded like Naruto…Sakura's eyes widened and she couldn't resist opening the door slightly to see what was going on. She opened the door a crack and peered inside and she had to cover her mouth to stop herself from gasping loudly. The room was a small bedroom with a bed that could fit two people. And on that bed was both Sasuke and Naruto, they where both shirtless too. Sasuke was on top of Naruto and they where kissing lip on lip. Sakura couldn't move because of how shocked she was. Her eyes got even wider at what she saw next. Sasuke started to kiss Naruto on neck making the other boy moan while he also used his hands to fiddle with Naruto's belt. Naruto and Sasuke kissed on the lips again (Sakura would have sworn she shall tongue in there kissing) as Sasuke got Naruto's belt off and threw it to the side.

"Are you ready?" Sasuke asked Naruto still not noticing Sakura outside the door. Naruto seemed to be in much pleasure as Sasuke kissed his neck again while waiting for an answer.

"Ohhhh…Yes! YESS! Do it Sasuke! Pleaseee, do it Sasuke!!…." Naruto screeched as Sakura could guess what was going to happen next. Sakura stared, scarred for life, as she saw Sasuke Pull off Naruto's pants and his own. She shut the door quietly as Sasuke started to take off the underwear of the other boy. She stood there for a minute before hearing moans from both of the boys. She wanted to leave but her legs would not let her move.

"Faster, faster!" Sakura heard from outside the door followed by more noises of pleasure from the two. She heard before her legs finally decided to let her move. Sakura walked out of the Uchiha household before covering her eyes trying to get the mental images of what she just saw out of her head.

"If they miss training again, I am not going looking for them…" Sakura said walking away.


	11. Teamed Up

Name: Crack by Crazys!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! FOOL!

Story Name: Teamed Up  
Story Rating: T for well being rated T XD!  
Author: MEEEEEEEEEE!

Notes: Night of the Yaoi set a record for me. I scarred five people for life, that's the most I've done with a single one-shot. :D! Oh and I would like to thank Amaterasu77 for this idea :D! I got it when reading one of her old reviews.

Teamed Up by TheSulkingWolf **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The snake freak, Orochimaru, laughed to himself as he sat at a table with two other people. They had teamed up because they looked and acted a lot alike. He had found the perfect evil teammates to destroy the leaf village. He found…..

Michael Jackson and Lord Voldemort! He shared looks with Michael Jackson and they both wanted little boys. And Him and Lord Voldemort also looked alike and both; were obsessed with immortality, snakes and had rivals who were a lot younger than they were. Together the three could wipe out the leaf village, take over the Naruto world, kill harry potter and well be evil! The three where in a large building which they had named the E.P.H.Q.P.T.A.Y.K.W.W.M.O.M.Y.D.W.R.D.C.M.O.W.D.B.T.D.M.M!  
(Evil persons head quarters place thing, ah you Know what we mean or maybe you don't we really don't care much okay, we do but that doesn't matter much!)

"Well let's go destroy the village!" Orochimaru said as the three left. When the three arrived Orochimaru summoned Manda his huge snake minion. Manda started to break buildings and such as Orochimaru watched and laughed.

"Fear me!" He said as he attacked the village. Next Voldemort started using his magic to hurt and kill people. People died and screamed in pain.

"MWHAHAH! Fear me, the dark lord!" Voldemort said to the now screaming people.

"Come to Uncle Jackson little boys" Michael Jackson said walking towards the little boys with a stupid grin. The little boys ran in fear as M.J. chased them around trying to get them. The three quickly defeated the Ninja that showed up to defeat them and they felt like nothing could stop them until…

"Stop now!" Someone shouted. The three turned to see Naruto, Harry Potter, The cops.

"EEEEP Cops!" Michael Jackson said running as the little boys when to there mommies. The cops quickly ran after him trying to get him.

"Coward!" The Dark Lord said as Michael Jackson continued to run from the cops.

"Hay Voldemort" Harry said.

"Yes?"

"Yo Mama so fat that even Naruto doesn't believe it!"

"It's true i don't belive it!"

"Meany!" Voldemort said as he ran away crying.

"What a loser!" Orochimaru said as the Dark Lord went back to the head quarters to cry in the Emo Corner.

"Hay Orochimaru, you're an ugly, paled-skinned, snake pedophile that will die alone and fat!" Naruto taunted.

"Jerk!" Orochimaru said deeply hurt as he ran away to go join Voldemort in the emo corner back at their E.P.H.Q.P.T.A.Y.K.W.W.M.O.M.Y.D.W.R.D.C.M.O.W.D.B.T.D.M.M. Harry and Naruto high-fived as their foes ran away while they watched the cops drag away Michael Jackson.


	12. Here comes trouble! An OC crack story

Name: Crack by Crazys.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything cept one of the oc's.

Story name: Here comes trouble! - An OC crack story.  
Story rating: T for scenes of torture.

Author: Me… hehehe… Since this is Crack by CRAZYS as in plural if you want to write a Naruto crack and have it featured her in Crack by Crazys message me and we will work it out.

Notes: Happy Yam Kippur everyone out there who's Jewish!  
**XXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxx**

Today was the worst nightmare of the leaf village. With what was going on the poor little village was doomed… Crazy people where outside it including:

Mika- The strange hyper female cat/dog demon who loves Naruto. Call's Toffee her Imoto-chan, MC her Onii-chan and Mayuki her Onee-chan. Mayuki is her idol because of how much pain she can cause people. (From Mika is a good girl)

Mornings child aka MC- The perverted male shape-shifting demon boy. Knows Toffee and Mika as his Imoto-chan(s). (From Mika is a good girl)

Toffee Iwasaki- A bubbly random girl who was friends with Mika and the other's. She has short orange hair that is hanging loose with brown eyes wearing a t-shirt and a skirt. She is also a great healer and refers to Mika as her Onee-chan and MC her onii-chan despite them not being related. She really looks up to Mika. She has a huge crush on Sasuke.

Mayuki- a slightly-evil ever so strange demon girl. She has long black hair with light brown highlights though it and brown eyes. She's wearing a black tank top with a white plaid shirt, black boots and a black and white pendent. She has white wolf ears and a tail from being a wolf demon. Along with that she can move quicker than the naked eye can see along with lots of stamina and the ability to read minds and teleport. She enjoys causing boys pain.

So in the outskirts of the leaf village stood Mayuki, Toffee, MC and Mika; Toffee was sitting there in the middle of a game of go-fish with MC while Mika was staring a picture of Naruto and Mayuki was thinking of new ways of hurting people.

"HA! GO FISH PUNK!" Toffee shouted giggling as Mc drew a card playing his final (and only) pair in go-fish showing that Toffee had all the others.

"Want to do a rematch?" Mc asked picking the cards up-shuffling them in his hands. Mika heard this and walked over to the other two taking the cards and shoving them in MC's bag.

"LATER! We have to go in the village so I can see my Naruto!"

"And I can hurt people, nice…" Mayuki said standing up and walking next to the other three.

"Then I can see Sasuke," Toffee said blushing. Mika growled slightly and glared but said nothing. She did not approve of Toffee's crush on Sasuke but she didn't want to stop them if would upset Toffee.

"Well the let's go!" Mc said leading the way with the other three in tow. They reached the gates and where stopped by two guard ninja.

"Do you have identification?" The first ninja said. The four pulled out there card things and went into the village, their first stop being the ramen bar. The four ordered there ramen and sat down. Shortly after Mika noticed Naruto in a nearby seat.

"NARUTO!" Mika said tackling said boy in death-grip hug.

"Good to see you to Mika," Naruto said hugging back.

"Awwww isn't that cute?" MC said teasingly. Mika quickly let go and slapped MC upside the head.

"Shut up Onii-chan," Mika said going back to Naruto. Just then Sasuke walked by and Toffee's heart started to beat quickly and her face flushed red. She got up and walked towards Sasuke giggling.

"Hi Sasuke," Toffee said waving to him.

"Oh, hay Toffee," Sasuke said walking up the girl. The two stood there just looking at each other for the moment. Both slightly red before Toffee pulled Sasuke into a tight hug.

"Toffee…. Can't …..BREATH!" Sasuke choked out before Toffee let go.

"Sorry." She said. Meanwhile MC and Mayuki and had been watching Mika and Naruto, who were eating ramen, and Sasuke and Toffee, who were starring at each other talking.

"I need to get a date…" MC sighed will Mayuki looked over at the people. A while later all six of our lovely characters where sitting in the middle of an empty room in Sasuke's house. There where cards in Mayuki's hands and MCs plus chips by all but Naruto. There were a pile of game chips in middle as well… Three cards lay out in the middle where the Ace of spades, Ace of hearts, and the Two of hearts. Mika put her cards down showing she had the Ace of diamonds and the Ace of clubs. Mc put his down showing he had the twos of spades and clubs.

"HA! My four of a kind beats your three of a kind!" Mayuki said taking the chips in the middle having won that round of poker.

"Darn! What's with me? I lose to Toffee in gold fish and now to Mayuki in poker?!" Mc said scolding himself.

"Okay sever up the next hand Naruto" Mika said. He was about to when there was a crash outside the house. The five looked at each other and went to check it out. Naruto and Sasuke had weapons drawn and they all looked ready to fight. They went to the backyard where there was a strange crater the ground. They looked inside and inside there was a girl. She was wearing a pair of black pants, a red t-shirt and she had long pink hair tied back. Her eye color could not be seen because her eyes were closed and the others noticed she was wearing no shoes. Poking out of the top of her head where white cat ear's and a black but white tip cat tail hung out of the back of her pants. She was lying in the dirt with lower body slightly higher than the rest of her. She stood up slowly and wiped the dirt off herself turning and faced the other six who were on alert and watching her. It was….

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

BWHAHAHAHAHA! A cliff-hanger, Part two will be out in a day or two. It's my first two-part Crack by Crazys story! WOOOOOOT… OH! And:

Mika belongs to MikaTheCatHanyou

MC belongs to Mornings Child

Toffee Iwasaki belongs to Winged Black Angel aka MewToffee.

Mayuki belongs to May5000… And the End girl belongs too… (MWHAHA I'm not telling until next time.)


	13. Here comes trouble! An OC crack, part 2!

Name: Crack by Crazys  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything…

Story name: Here Comes Trouble! An OC crack story. PART 2!  
Story Rating: T

Author: Me you idiots!  
**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_They _(Mayuki, MC, Mika, Toffee, Naruto and Sasuke)_ went to the backyard where there was a strange crater the ground. They looked inside and inside there was a girl. She was wearing a pair of black pants, a red t-shirt and she had long pink hair tied back. Her eye color could not be seen because her eyes were closed and the others noticed she was wearing no shoes. Poking out of the top of her head where white cat ear's and a black but white tip cat tail hung out of the back of her pants. She was lying in the dirt with lower body slightly higher than the rest of her. She stood up slowly and wiped the dirt off herself turning and faced the other six who were on alert and watching her. It was…._It was… well to tell the truth they didn't really know who it was…

Last time on Here Comes Trouble! An OC crack story:

"Hello everyone," The girl said smiling at them, they noticed the girls eyes where a dark brown.

"Who the heck are you?" Naruto asked annoyed.

"Why do you remember me Naruto? From the time…"

**-Flashback-  
**_**  
**__Meanwhile, Kakashi, that strange man with white hair who always covers his face, saw what was happening. "Oh no, that girl is going to kill us all!" he thought. So he sent Naruto to stop the girl with his lovely Rasengan attack. Naruto failed._**-Flashback over-**"Oh my god! You're the girl who tried to hug the world to death but really just knocked people out and turned Orochimaru into a mushroom!" Naruto gasped.

"Who is she?" Mika asked.

"SHE'S HALEY!" (From Hugs are evil)

"I'M BACK!" Haley shouted as loud as she could in a sing-song voice.

"But I don't remember you having cat ears or a tail…"

"Oh you see I was trying to use jutsu to improve the power of my hugs and just sort of turned myself into a cat person thing."

"Oh."

"So wait? Since she tried to hug people to death is she wanted?" MC asked.

"Yep!" Naruto responded. Quickly the six circled Haley, weapons drawn, who smiled at them in strange and scary manner.

"Oh don't worry! There's all ready a hunter-nin after me!" Haley said in a strangely happy way with a creepy smile. Just before the other's could question more a kunai with a paper bomb attached flow towards Haley almost hitting her but she quickly ducked and the kunai hit a tree. The six backed up quickly as the paper bomb went off making smoke.

"I missed…" a voice said. The others turned around as the smoke went away revealing a girl with long black hair with light blue highlights. She had ember eyes and was wearing a black spaghetti strap top and black pants with a red skirt over them and black ballet flats instead of normal ninja sandals. This girl was Relatively Thin. She was a white mask with black swirls underneath the eye holes and the mask had the leaf village symbol on the forehead area, the mask was clearly the mask of a hunter-nin.

"Who are you?" Mayuki asked confused.

"Yeah! What gives you the right to just attack like that?! You could have hurt us!" Naruto yelled annoyed. The girls looked at him for a second before looking at Haley and throwing more kunai at her. She pulled out a kunai of her own and blocked the attack.

"This is hunter-nin who is hunting me! Her names Emeki, Emeki Ali Sean (pronounced Shawn) (First, Middle, Last)" Haley said as Emeki ran at her. Haley then yelped as Emeki quickly hit her and drove a kunai into her arm.

"Now that wasn't nice" Haley said pulling the kunai out. She jumped at Emeki, getting behind her and hugging her.

"This is my attack!" Haley said knocking out Emeki with her evil hug then running away.

**-One hour or so later-**Emeki awoke with the others around her. She rubbed her eyes for a second before sitting up. Wait, rubbed her _eyes_? Her mask was gone! She quickly looked around and saw the mask next to her and grabbed it and put it on.

"YOU'RE AWAKE!" She heard some scream before that someone hugged her. She turned and saw Mika hugging her happily.

"Mika don't shout so loud or you'll scare her" MC said in a joking manner. Mika glared at him for a minute before letting go of Emeki and introducing herself.

"HI! I'm Mika and that jerk over there is Mornings Child but we just call him MC! Your names Emeki right?"

"YEAH!" Emeki shouted in a more hyper manner then anyone would have guessed. Mc took a few steps closers before he let out a loud yelp. Mika and Emeki looked over and saw he had stepped on some sort of trap that had tied a rope around his leg and yanked him upwards leaving him hanging from the ceiling upside down. Along with that the rope had bells on it so there was a loud ringing sound. They heard footsteps as Mayuki ran in the room and smiled looking at MC.

"Hay! Someone fell into my trap," Mayuki said grinning.

"You did this Mayuki?!" Mc asked still just hanging there.

"Yes!"

"Well get me down."

"Okay" Mayuki said tossing a kunai up that cut through the rope making MC fall to the floor. Mika, Mayuki and Emeki all broke out into laughter as MC stood up rubbing his head.

"Why do you do stuff like that Mayuki?" Mc asked slightly annoyed.

"Because… it's fun!" Mayuki said causing more laughter. Toffee, after hearing the laughter from the other room came to check out what was going on.

"What's going on in here?" Toffee asked. The others told her what happened and Toffee too laughed at MC's pain.

"So you're like a hunter-nin and stuff?" Toffee asked Emeki.

"Yeah and my current job is to kill Haley and destroy her body and take her head back as proof."

"Ewww" Toffee said slightly grossed out. The, now seven, decided to go to the ramen stand and get lunch unaware of who they would meet there…

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**Another cliff hanger kind of thing, this story is going to be maybe 2 or 3 more parts long. I was thinking, maybe if I got my friends permission. I could turn this into a like whole separate story. Does that idea sound good to you? I'll put my poll up about it! Vote! And of course that were the case I would make it alot longer then like 5 chapters.

MWHAHAHA!


	14. Who will win? Naruto vs Luffy

Name: Crack by Crazys  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Story name: Who will win? Naruto vs. Luffy  
Story Rating: Maybe K+ or T for fighting.

Author: Me, I don't think that V wants to write anymore crack.

Notes: A series within crack by crazies that would show characters from Naruto/a different show fighting or fights between Naruto characters that would normally never/will not fight in the series. And do to popular demand via my poll (8 yes, 0 no) Here Comes Trouble, will become its own story, sooner or later. Enjoy this though!  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
**A strange girl, known as Mika, appeared in the center of a fighting ring. For those of you who forget Mika looks like: Mika has hair that was half black and half white and dresses in a normal ninja way. She looks normal on the outside (if you didn't count that fact that she had cat ears and a tail.) But the truth is that Mika …. Is… completely…. INSANE!! Alongside her was her co-host Morning's Child or MC this boy has cat ears but this boy had two tails instead on of one. They both stood in the center of the large arena; it was a circle in a stadium type area. There are large stone walls that made the circle shape, the ground is simply dirt and the field is empty.

"Welcome one and all! This is Crack by Crazys! This will be a new story-thing that will appear in Crack by Crazys every once and a while. It's called "Who will win?!" Mika shouted into a microphone that had appeared out of nowhere. MC quickly took it and spoke.

"Here's how it works, we take a character from Naruto and a Character from another anime and we have them fight! Wolf (the author) can pick the fighters or if you have ideas from fights please tell us but if Wolf has not heard of one of the characters she will not be able to use your idea---"MC said but Mika quickly took the microphone back.

"But she so happy if you make suggestions, and anyways I'm your host Mika and this is my co-host MC. Today's fighter from Naruto is the main character himself! Clap for Naruto Uzumaki, I SAID CLAP YOU PIGS" Mika shouted as clapping came from no-where. A door opened up on the stone wall and Naruto came out standing on one side of the field. When Mika was staring at Naruto MC quickly stole the microphone back.

"And are second fighter is from the Manga and Anime One piece. If you don't know what that is it's a story about pirates with the main character being a 17-year old boy named Luffy, called Straw-Hat Luffy for the straw hat he always wears. He got it from his idle, a powerful pirate captain called 'Red-Haired Shanks', who inspired Luffy to try to become King of the pirates by looking for a great treasure called One Piece which is hidden in the Grand Line, also called the pirate graveyard. Luffy also happens to be Naruto's enemy today---"MC was quickly pushed to the side by Mika who grabbed the microphone yet again.

"Luffy's fighting ability is that his body is like rubber. He can stretch, is hard to hurt, and is immune to bullets and lighting. He can do this because he ate a devil fruit called the Gum-Gum fruit, but because of that same thing he cannot swim and sinks in all water. Luffy's personality is similar to Naruto's, he loves to eat, is kind of stupid but serious when fighting/protecting friends- who he cares about and he is always smiling but will hurt you if you try to hurt his straw hat. NOW LET'S BRING OUT (last, middle, first) MONKEY D. LUFFY!" Mika shouted loudly. A door opened on the side of the field opposite from where Naruto was. Out came a 17-year old boy. He has short messy black hair, a wide grin on his face and a scar under his left eye. He is a tall, lanky boy wearing a red vest and blue shorts that had white ends and his footwear of choice was tan sandals with black straps. Suddenly the area in the middle where Mika and MC where shot up in the air. The field now was a large dirt field with stone walls, there was a stone pole in the middle that shot high up in the area with Mika and Mc on top of it. Naruto is on the right side of the field and Luffy is on the left.

"BEGIN THE RUMMBLE!" MC shouted into the mike down to the fighters. Quickly Naruto took the offensive and pulled out a kunai and made 4 shadow clones. They charged at Luffy who smiled and got ready to attack.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto shouted jumping out at Luffy. Luffy pulled back his arm and punched the Naruto in the stomach.

"Gum-Gum pistol!" Luffy shouted as the Naruto he punched flew backwards into the wall and, being a clone, disappeared in a puff of smoke. The three other clone Naruto's charged at Luffy trying to hit him with their Kunai. One managed to cut Luffy in the arm while Luffy jumped back and avoided the other attacks.

"Gum-Gum whip!"Luffy shouted before he pulled his leg back then his leg stretched and hit all four Naruto's (the three clones and the real one). While the clones disappeared the real Naruto hit the wall.

"By the way, I'm Luffy!" He shouted again not noticing Naruto had gotten behind him and up the wall with his wall-climbing move.

"Where did he go?" Luffy asked no one as he looked around. Suddenly Naruto jumped off the wall and delivered a powerful kick to Luffy's head driving Luffy into the ground.

"Ha!" Naruto said as he moved to a piece of ground so he could face Luffy.

"Nice shot, here's mine. Gum-Gum Gatling!" Luffy said as he pulled back both his arms and began punching Naruto in a very rapid-fire manner, landing many strikes. Naruto, who was shot backwards, stood up again wiping some blood from his face. (Both here bleeding Naruto from his ears and nose and Luffy from the cut on his arm and he had a minor bruise from the head shoot Naruto hit him with.) The two started to try to punch and hit each other until something bad happened.

"Gum-Gum whip!" Luffy said trying to kick Naruto who jumped up and avoided the attack. Then Naruto made handsigns and crated a clone who he had transform into a demon-wind shuriken which he threw at Luffy but it missed and sliced through the, they suddenly realized, weak stone pillar in the middle of the field. This caused Mika and MC to go plummeting slamming down into the middle of the middle.

"Woah, sharp!" Luffy said laughing at the damage done to the field.

"Mika! MC!" Naruto shouted running over to his friends, who where both bleeding, and Mc was awake while Mika was knocked out. Naruto, liking Mika, and being friends with MC was quiet mad. Mad enough in fact, that the Kyuubi's red chakra came out and Naruto entered his one-tailed form (the Jinchūriki form but with the charka making the demon outline with one tail).

"What's that red stuff?" Luffy asked as Naruto turned around and charged and him, swinging at him and cutting his chest, which also ripped his shirt slightly.

"OW! I guess I should get stronger too" Luffy said getting ready to use a move to fight better- Gear Second. Luffy pumped his blood rapidly with his legs to kick start the process which in turn increases the speed of his blood flow, thus providing more oxygen and nutrients to various parts of his body which makes him faster and stronger. And because all of his organs are rubber, they can expand and contract, allowing the blood to move at the increased speed without stressing any one internal organ, such as the blood vessels, and causing it to explode. His skin was a light pink color and his skin seemed to being steaming. The two, now more powerful foes, charged at each other and got ready to attack, Naruto formed a rasengan in his one hand while Luffy stretched his arm back and punched Naruto with a very power version of the Gum-Gum pistol at the same time Naruto hit Luffy with a rasengan. Both fighters slammed against the stone wall, breaking the pieces they hit and both knocked themselves and each other out causing both to go back to normal.

"Huh, I guess it's a tie" Mc said standing up looking at the piles of rubble where both the fighters where.

"Woo- a tie!" Mika said as she had woken up a minute ago but was still disorientated and the words came out mumbled.

"-sigh- Let's get you to the doctor Mika" MC said grabbing Mika's arm to lead her away as doctor's came out and took Luffy and Naruto away as well.

"Wait, what about the field we said we would return it like we found it" Mika said feeling more herself. They looked around as they saw more than one spot where the wall was broken. The dirt-floor was pulled up in some spots (one spot a big hole) and there was a huge clasped stone pillar in the middle.

"-sigh- We have a lot of cleaning and fixing to do" MC said but heard no respond from Mika. He looked around and shall she was gone.

"Awwww man, she left me here to fix this alone!?"


	15. Sasuke’s Rant

Name: Crack by Crazys.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Story name: Sasuke's Rant

Story rating: T for the emo-Sasuke-ness.

Warning: **Slight Spoiler Warning! **There might be some spoilers if you're not too far in the series or don't know about Sasuke and what's going on with him and Itachi.

Author: Me

Notes: I have nothing against Sasuke-haters or Sasuke-fans, this story does not reflect my opinion on the little-emo-boy! I LOVE THE ENTER KEY!  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

We see a dark room, we can't tell anything about it until a spotlight shines in the middle revealing a small wooden stool in what appears to be the center of the room. More lights shine on showing a small path with a wooden door at the end. The door opens and Sasuke walks out into the center of the room and sits on the stool.

"Welcome everyone, this is Sasuke's Rant!" He said as he clapped and lights shined on a wooden sign behind him that had 'Sasuke's Rant' painted on it in black letters.

"Today I am going to talk about the Sasuke-Hater-fans and my life. First of… WHY DO YOU HATE ME? Sure I rant sometimes and I went to some creepy guy for power but I had a good reason. I mean have you ever had an older sibling kill off your family?! I didn't think so! And I need to take my revenge that traitor so I went to Orochimaru for power. And what's wrong with that? He could give me power, which I need, so I took the option! I know you think 'I betrayed my friends'- but wait, I NEVER LIKED THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE! Sure Naruto was kind of my best friend but I never had many other friends. And I don't count those annoying fangirls as fans BECAUSE I HATE THEM! Like Sakura for example, she's way too annoying and Ino? She's so annoying, I barely know here too! She's better off with Shikamaru… I know your thinking 'well what about Kakashi?' Well Kakashi was not my friend, he was my trainer. There's a difference unless you're like Gai and Rock Lee but those guys are creeps! And you guys think- 'even if you didn't like them you still betrayed the village and hurt Naruto!' Well I needed to betray the village to kill Itachi, I thought: If it could get me the power I need I will do it! I would have come back after I killed him-maybe… And so what if I hurt Naruto? I'm not his buddy, and that reminds me… WHAT'S WITH YOU FANS AND PAIRING ME WITH THAT FREAK?! What in your minds makes you think I would like him? I mean he's addicted to ramen and acts like he has ADHD! I know we shared are first kiss but that was because some guy knocked him into me when we were glaring at each other which shows we hate each other. You guys think 'well what about the times he tried to save you?' Well, for your information, those times where his choice and had nothing to do with me. Even if he did love me it's a one-sided relationship!" Suddenly, in the middle of Sasuke's rant, a tissue box flew inside and hit Sasuke on the head. He looked over and saw a girl with wolf-ears, peeking in from the door staring at him.

"Hurry-up Sasuke! This place is rented."

"Hold on Wolf, I'm almost done."

"Fine… But if you go over the time we paid for your paying the balance!" The girl, closed the door and footsteps where heard.

"That loser… Anyway as I was saying I don't like or love Naruto, end of story! And finally, I don't care if Naruto's still looking for me! That's his deal- not mine. If he can't let me live my life the way I want to he's the one who needs help not me! I mean why doesn't anyone hate him? And his personality… He can't just give up on stuff, IT'S SO ANNOYING! And I know another reason you hate me is because you say I'm "Emo" WELL I'M NOT! Look!" Sasuke rolled up his sleeves to show his normal, scar free, wrists. "NO CUT MARKS! And I'm a little Goth sure, but so what? It's the way I am sue me! I mean there's nothing wrong with angst-ing every once and awhile. I mean all I do is sit there, which you guys should like because you wouldn't see me and that's good for you because you guys hate me for no good reason!!! And some of the reasons you make fun of me for are so stupid, like my hair. Which, by the way does NOT look like a chicken's butt and so what if you can mispronounce my name 'Sas-gay?' I mean I'm sure there are funny ways to mispronounce some of your names people! And beside my name has nothing to do with if I like girls or boys!"

"SASUKE! TIME IS UP AND I AM NOT GOING TO PAY FOR THE EXTRA TIME YOUR USING!" The girl from before shouted opening up the door.

"Fine you stubborn women! Well that's all I have time to say! Later people and I hope you have learned to like me more…" Sasuke said getting up and leaving the room.


	16. Tobi’s campaign for hugs for children

Crack by Crazys!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Story name: Tobi's campaign for hugs for Naruto children.

Story rating: K+ for violence.

Author: me

Notes: Woot! I have not felt this inspired to write in months! I know I should update my other stories but I don't want to update them really. I just want to write crack for now. Then I'll update something else. Some time later (a Tokyo Mew Mew story) maybe… Oh and i know this one is kind of short but i hope you like it anyways.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Hello, this is Tobi. Tobi is here to talk about the new organization 'Hugs for sad children!' In this organization we are here to give hugs to those poor people who really need them. Tobi have hired some girls as an example!" Tobi said. He was standing on a large wooden stage in front of a crowd. They where in a large building and behind the stage was a large red curtain. The crowd looked confused as large screen lowered in front of the curtain and a camera feed then showed Sasuke sitting on a bench thinking (you could tell that he didn't know there was a camera aimed at him.)

"Hugs for Sasuke!" Sakura and Ino shouted jumping up from each side and hugging Sasuke, who was clearly annoyed.

"Let go of me!"

"Awwwww, be nice Sasuke!" Sakura and Ino said not letting the boy go.

"Isn't that cute? Tobi thinks so!" Tobi said to the crowd who smiled and seemed to agree. The camera feed next showed Naruto who was just kind of standing there doing nothing.

"Hugs for Naruto!" Mika shouted jumping on from off screen hugging Naruto (who fell down and let out a yelp.) The two landed in a suggestive position. Before both of them started blushing dark red and then it showed them getting off each other embarrassed.

"Aw! Young love!" Tobi shouted to the crowd who clapped slightly while some looked annoyed with what happened. The camera feed switched to Rock Lee who was training by starting with simply kicking a tree.

"Hugs for Lee!" Mayuki (from the OC crack story) jumping from off-screen and hugging Lee.

"What the heck?" Lee said as Mayuki hugged him.

"Shut up, there paying me to do this" Mayuki said to Lee as the camera feed switched to Hidan.

"She wasn't supposed to say that on--- Tobi means cute right?" Tobi said nervous as more people looked annoyed while some though still clapped and giggled. The camera then showed Hidan who was sitting in who-knows-wear doing nothing.

"Hugs for Hid--" Was all poor Toffee could say she leaped up to hug Hidan and was struck by his blade. The two got into a bloody and violent fight before the camera was knocked out.

"Ummmm…. So yeah join us and give poor children like those ones hugs!" Tobi said as the people shouted 'Boo' and threw fruit at him. The camera then showed Gaara as a random girl approached him.

"Hugs for - - -"

"Sand coffin!"

"Ahhh!"

"Ummmmmm……" was all Tobi could say before people threw more old, rotting fruit and pointy sharp things at him.

"Oh come on Tobi just wanted to help the children" Tobi said as a tomato hit him in the chest. Just then another camera feed started and showed Anko and Kakashi doing something well something the people didn't want to see. And you could tell the children where the last thing on there minds. The people went 'EWWWWW' before grabbing weapons and running after Tobi. Tobi jumped off stage and began to run from the angry, mob that had weapons…

"How come Tobi always gets hurt?!"


	17. Hay little Sasuke

Crack by Crazys!

Disclaimer: I do not own the show, characters or anything. I also do not own 'The mean kitty song' aka Hay little Sparta. That belongs to Cory "Mr. Safety" Williams (he also owns his account smpflims, which I do not own.)

Story name: Hay little Sasuke aka The Mean Kitty Song.  
Story rating: k+

Notes: This might not make as much sense if you have not seen the YouTube video it is based off of. Go to YouTube (dot) com and look for "The mean kitty song" by the user smpflims.

"Singing/lyrics" (Naruto is singing)  
"Talking" (Sasuke is the one making the comments)

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

In a normal living type room (couch, TV, phone, Etc.) On the couch of the room lying down was Sasuke, who for one reason or another had cat ears and a tail (both of which were a brown-cat color.)

"Why do I have cat ears?!" Sasuke shouted annoyed. Suddenly Naruto in the room and music started to play out of nowhere.

"Where is that music coming from?" Sasuke asked. Then, to Sasuke's horror, Naruto was about to sing.

"I got this little kitty about two months back. He was the nicest little kitty, now a pain in my crack" Naruto sang. While he sang this he pointed to Sasuke who looked confused.

"What the hell?! I'm not a cat, and I'm not yours!" Sasuke shouted as he sat up on the couch.

"This is little kitty is a ninja, always stalking my feet. This little kitty is a warrior, you know what I mean." Naruto at this point was singing at speed slightly faster than normal but not too fast.

"What do you mean I stalk your feet?!"

"He's an evil little kitty, look what he did to my hand" Naruto sang showing a cut on his palm. "Tries to get in trouble in any way that he can."

"I do not!"

"I could give this cat a toy, but he would rather have the wrapper and I always give him water, but he still drinks from the crapper" Naruto pointed towards the bathroom.

"I do not drink from the toilet! NARUTO, WHAT ARE YOU SINGING?!"

"You could lock him in the closet and he just won't care." Naruto suddenly nudged/pushed Sasuke in the closet.

"I DO care!" Sasuke shouted as he broke the door down and got out.

"Kitty chews on my shoes and he licks at my hair. Always scratching on my favorite chair and jumping on the couch."

"-Sigh- I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"Playing on the window sills and tearing though the house. He's so full on energy and easily amused, kitty will attack anything that moves."

"I do not attack anything that moves! You have lost your mind."

"Causing trouble, starting battles just so he could be a little part of it, he's the meanest little kitty so we named him Sparta."

"What?! My name is not Sparta and you did not name me."

"Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Little bitty kitty wanna bite, bite, bite. Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Little bitty kitty wanna bite, bite, bite."

"I do not bite! AND STOP CALLING ME SPARTA!"

"Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Little bitty kitty wanna bite, bite, bite. Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Little bitty kitty wanna bite."

"Have you hit your head?"

"Where'd you go, are you stalking me?""

I'm right here on the couch, are you going blind too?"

"Are you under the couch, quite possibly? Ears laid back so you don't get caught, ready to pounce my leg with everything that you got."

"I don't 'pounce'."

"I know you're probably watching me from across the room. Concentrating, contemplating on attacking me soon."

"I'm not gonna attack you. Are you the real Naruto?"

"You're not invisible kitty, I'm gonna find you first. Come out, come out before I making things worse."

"Oh things are bad enough with you singing whatever this is."

"I've seen where you hide and I know where you've you been. Hay kitty why don't you give in?"

"Now it sounds like you're the one stalking me." Sasuke at this point had dropped back down onto the couch while Naruto was standing up, moving and singing. He had been looking around the room while he song as if searching for Sasuke.

"Even if you try to sneak up on me, I'm prepared."

"Oh are you?"

"Cause I've got my safety gear on and I'm not scared." Naruto lifted his hands up to show he was wearing a pair of gloves.

"When did you put those on?"

"I think I hear a little kitty under the bed. I know your making noises just to mess with my head" Naruto sang as he ran in his bedroom and looked under the bed. Sasuke got up and followed him.

"Oh your head is messed up enough as it is."

"You can stalk me all you want, but I'm not your pray cause you always seem to find me first, but not today!"

"I don't know what you mean; I think you need to see the doctors…"

"Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Little bitty kitty wanna bite, bite, bite. Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Little bitty kitty wanna bite, bite, bite." Naruto sang as he ran around the apartment in a manner that seemed like he was looking for 'kitty.'

"Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Little bitty kitty wanna bite, bite, bite. Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Come on out, I'm gonna get you now."

"You're insane" Sasuke said. He ended up leaning against the bathroom door.

"I've got him corned and now he's mine." Naruto suddenly ran in front of the bathroom and Sasuke got knocked over and fell into the bathroom. He pulled himself up and sat on the counter with the sink of it.

"Hay!"

"He's not gonna get away this time. I'll snatch him up fast before he can blink then… Aw man! He's asleep in the sink."

"I am not asleep in the sink!" Sasuke said as he jumped off the counter to follow Naruto who was now in the hallway.

"What's with this cat? I'm confused. He's got a bed but it's never been used."

"I do sleep in a bed! The one at my house…"

"In every waking moment, kitty's out for the fight then (mouth-fart-noise) next minute kitty's out like a light."

"I am not always out for a fight" Sasuke said as he got back on the couch.

"How could I let this creature live inside of my home? I've got to keep an eye on him when I'm on the phone."

"Don't call me a creature!"

"I'm a little afraid to leave this cat all alone. This kitty may destroy everything that I own."

"Why would I do that?"

"Look at him now, I kinda feel bad." Naruto sang as he walked over to the couch and petted Sasuke's head.

"Don't pet me!"

"He's the best little cat that I've had and the one big thing that I forgot to mention, was that he wasn't fighting, he just wanted attention."

"What do you mean I just wanted attention!?"

"Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Little bitty kitty wanna bite, bite, bite. Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Little bitty kitty wanna bite, bite, bite."

"Oh no, that line again?"

"Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Little bitty kitty wanna bite, bite, bite. Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight? Showing love, that's all this kitty does." Suddenly as Naruto finished the line the music played for a bit more then stopped.

"I do more than that! And is this song finally over? WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!"


	18. Anti Pairings

Crack by Crazys!

Story name: Anti-Pairings  
Story rating: T for bad language. It starts out not there but becomes more frequent towards the end like in the middle. (This includes the F word once or twice but it's censored.)

Author: Me! MWHAHAHAH!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my Oc and the idea of the story;

Wolf belongs to me,

Deity belongs my older sister TheSunDeity,

Mika belongs to Sesshi's Favorite Cousin (She's always changing her name, it confuses me),

Mayuki belongs to May5000,

Toffee belongs to Winged Black Angel,

MC belongs to Morning Strider,

Emeki belongs to Neka -Broken Hearted Mew Mew-.

Notes: Friends and sisters please, please do not kill me for this chapter! PLEASE! I'M A GOOD GIRL! Oh and I'm not making fun of any of the guys/girls who appear in this chapter. I happen to really like Hidan and Lee and the others.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

One day the young (around 15 or so) wolf demon girl. (Simply called Wolf), Wolf was wearing a black sleeve-less top and long gray pants that had a small whole for her black wolf tail with the white tip to stick out of. Her dyed-black hair was hung normally with her wolf ears sticking up. If you don't know who this is its Wolf (featured in Chorus Sucks, chapter 8 and seen slightly in chapter 15.). Wolf had a bright idea so she had called all her friends/sisters to where she was. Soon her friends arrived at the large empty field Wolf was in. In stories Wolf is commonly paired with Neji who she calls Nej-Nej.

First it was her older sister, Deity. Deity was a semi-angry, person. She liked her friends and was by far the sanest person in the group. Of course in most stories Deity was paired with Itachi. Deity is one of the people that are able to scare Wolf. (Ask the mew mew's 2 and the story Konoha Sister Act by Neka -Broken Hearted Mew Mew-.)

Next there was her close friend, Mika. The hyper-active cat/dog demon girl, one of the most insane of the group. (Seen in chapters 9, 12, 13, 14, and 16) In story's Mika is always paired with Naruto (see said chapters and some of her stories).

After that there was the semi-evil also a demon girl Mayuki. She's the one that enjoys tormenting boys except a special few. (Seen in chapters 12, 13, and 16)

Next there is Toffee Iwasaki- A bubbly random girl who is good friends with the others. Toffee has a huge crush on Sasuke much to the dismay of Mika who hates Sasuke (or Sas-gay as she calls him). (Seen in chapters 12, 13 and 16)

Second to last there is the shape-shifter pervert boy MC. So far the only boy of the group, MC has kind of high morals for a pervert (example: not using his shape-shifting to turn into a girl and go into the girl's bathhouse.) (Seen in chapters 9, 12, 13, and 14) He is protective of and (in Crack by Crazys) commonly seen hanging around with his good friend who he considers a little sister Mika.

Lastly there was Emeki; she is kind of sane but still crazy but not as bad as Mika or Toffee. She also has a crush on Sasuke (See her story Konoha Sister Act.) But that is never mentioned in the chapters she appears in (12 and 13.)

So once everyone (to say it again: Deity, Mika, Mayuki, Toffee, MC and Emeki) Wolf sat in front of the others who were just kind of standing there.

"I got a great idea everyone" Wolf shouted happily.

"Yeah? What is it?" Deity asked smirking at her hyper sister.

"Now how some of us are normally paired with the same person? Well I'm gonna mix it up a bit."

"What do you mean?" Mika asked confused.

"I'm gonna pair us, in this chapter, with people who the opposite of the character's we are normally with or who are the opposite of us."

"What?!" Everyone else said staring at Wolf who just smiled at them.

"What's with the shouting of what?"

"Why would you do that?" Mayuki asked.

"Kicks?"

"You're an idiot" Deity said bopping her sister on the head.

"Well I've already called the guys, here comes one now" Wolf said pointing over to behind them. The others turned around and saw friendly, enthusiastic Rock Lee coming their way.

"Who is getting paired with Lee?" Mayuki asked in fear that it might be her.

"Deity is!"

"…" Deity remained silent but hit her sister on the head again.

"Hello everyone! Are you having a youthful day?" Lee asked as he reached the group.

"Lee I'm setting you up on a date with my sister Deity" Wolf said pushing the bushy-eye browed boy into Deity. Deity glared at Lee who took a few steps back out of fright.

"I'm sure you two will make a lovely couple" Mika laughed at Deity.

"Shut up before I skin you alive." Deity said sending a death glare to Mika.

"Now that's not nice to say to your friends" Lee said.

"Be quiet."

"Yes ma'am."

"Can't you sense the love? Ooh look the next guys coming" Wolf said pointing at walkway where Sasuke was coming.

"Sasuke!" Toffee and Emeki said swooning over Sasuke.

"Sasuke is for Mika…"

"WHAT?!" Mika, Toffee, and Emeki shouted at Wolf.

"But I hate, HATE Sas-Gay" Mika said grabbing Wolf's shirt and shaking her.

"Stop that!" Wolf shouted as Mika let go. "You like Naruto and the opposite of Naruto Is Sasuke."

"Why am I here?" Sasuke said looking at everyone but offering a small, small smile to Toffee and Emeki.

"You're going a date with Mika."

"WHAT?!"

"I know, I said that to" Mika said growling at Sasuke with anger. The two quickly started arguing and fighting.

"Yeah, that was a great idea Wolf" Mc said in a sarcastic manner.

"Shut it MC…" Wolf growled. Wolf looked over and shall Mayuki calling someone up on her phone (which appeared out of thin air).

"Who you calling?"

"You can make it? Great!" Mayuki said in the phone before hanging it up. "Oh don't worry about it Wolf, it was nothing." Wolf just shrugged her shoulders and turned to face everyone again not seeing Mayuki's evil smile. Meanwhile MC was glaring at Sasuke who was in a fight with Mika. He didn't like guys are Mika though since there where fighting it was better than seeing her make out with a guy.

"MC! Here comes your girl" Wolf shouted pointing. The others turned to see the member of the sound four, Orochimaru's loyal minion, fowl-mouthed Tayuya.

"Tayuya!? You paired when with her?!" Mc shouted.

"Oh shut the hell up, I'm very pretty" Tayuya said as she approached the group. She pointed at MC "Is this the guy Wolf?"

"Yep" Wolf said taking a few steps away from MC in fear of being hurt.

"Ummm… hello" Mc said. He figured he should at least say that.

"Shut up."

"Why her?! WHY?!"

"What's wrong with me you bastard?"

"Your… you! You curse a lot and you work for that snake freak."

"Bastard."

"Idiot" Mc said back. Wolf giggled at the fighting but disapproved of the fowl-language. She wasn't going to stop it but she didn't curse much herself. The main reason she wasn't going to stop it was that she knew there was another fowl-mouth coming. She could see him coming so she didn't even bother to point it out. Mc was arguing with Tayuya. Mika and Sasuke had gotten into a physical fight and Mika was wining. Deity was just kind of standing there with Lee who was scared of Deity. Toffee, Emeki, and Mayuki where watching the fights cheering on Mika and Mc. Wolf saw the second fowl-mouth, the Jashinist, Hidan was behind the group. Though none seemed to notice him until he spoke…

"Okay which f--king bitch is mine Wolf?" Hidan shouted loudly causing everyone to jump from not the sudden noise and to turn and look at him.

"Don't call my friend a bitch, and it's that one" Wolf said Emeki.

"I'll call her a bitch if I wanna you stupid bitch" Hidan cursed as he walked up to Emeki.

"Hidan? You set me up with the freak who worships the evil demonic thing? What about age difference with the people and stuff?" Emeki shouted glaring at Wolf.

"Age difference? Age difference in FanFiction is like logic… and logic be damned!" Wolf giggled.

"Don't refer to Jashin-sama that way bastard" Hidan shouted as the two argued loudly. It seemed the only couple not fighting or arguing was Deity and Rock Lee but that was because Lee was scared of Deity. But Tayuya and Mc fought, Mika and Sasuke fought, and now Hidan and Emeki.

"Maybe this wasn't the best idea…" Wolf said to herself but she didn't have time to think more on it as Mayuki's date arrived.

"Hello Mayuki" The guy said from behind Mayuki which made her jump.

"Don't sneak up on me like that" Mayuki said turned to see bug-boy Shino behind her. She could tell instantly that Shino was her date; why else would he be here.

"Ha ha ha, Mayuki got Shino" Toffee giggled getting a glare from Mayuki.

"Umm… Hello Shino" Mayuki said awkwardly. The two were quiet though the area it's self was loud with arguing (I HATE YOU SASUKE!) and swearing (No, you be damned!). Soon Wolf shall Kankuro walked up. Wolf tilled her head confused… She didn't invite Kankuro.

"What's up?" Kankuro asked.

"You're here!" Mayuki said walking over.

"Why did you call Kankuro here?" Wolf asked confused.

"Since we have to be paired with people we don't like I decided you have do it to."

"Why Kankuro?"

"Cause, in FanFiction people make him a pervert so I paired who with a pervert!"

"Hello Kankuro" Wolf said as he walked over to her.

"Hay babe" Kankuro said trying to put his arm around her.

"Don't call me that and don't do that" Wolf said pushing his arm away. He simply smirked and pulled her closer causing her to yelp.

"I hate you Mayuki" Wolf said as Mayuki walked back over to Shino.

"I know!"

"Look its Kakashi…"

"Kakashi!?" Toffee said being the only girl left, knew he was her dat. "But he's old and perverted!"

"I don't care if he's a pervert and remember age difference be damned!" Wolf said as she was trying deal with Kankuro without hurting him.

"Stay away from me" Toffee said as Kakashi simply pulled out his book and started reading. So let's recap on what everyone is doing and who there with.

Deity is with Lee. Deity is watching everyone else while Lee stands there scared of Deity.

Mika is with Sasuke and the two are fighting trying to beat the crap out of each other.

Mc was with Tayuya and the two where arguing with much cursing coming from Tayuya.

Emeki was with Hidan and trying to fight him but she wasn't doing to good as Hidan likes pain and is immortal.

Mayuki was with Shino and the two were just standing there in an awkward manner.

Wolf was with Kankuro and she was glaring and yelling at him while he was being a pervert.

And finally Toffee was with Kakashi while she stood there annoyed with Kakashi reading his pervert book. The current state was pretty much chaos before Mika spoke up.

"I got an idea!" Mika said as she let go of Sasuke who she had in a headlock. "Instead of fighting or sitting there awkwardly lets beat up Wolf!"

"WHAT?!" Wolf shouted backing away from the group.

"You're the one that set us up on these bad dates!"

"Yeah" Mayuki said as she and the other's pulled out there weapons (not counting Kankuro who stood out of the way smirking.)

"Come on guys, can't talk this out?" Wolf said. Suddenly a Kunai flew by her head and hit a tree. "I'll take that as a no." Wolf said as she ran from; Deity, Lee, Mika, Sasuke, Mc, Tayuya, Emeki, Hidan, Mayuki, Shino, Toffee and Kakashi who had their weapons and attacks ready as they chased Wolf.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Man that was a looooonnnnngggg chapter, over 2,140 words and 7 pages on Microsoft word.


	19. You Don’t Understand!

Crack by Crazys!

Story name: You don't understand!!!  
Story rating: umm… k+ or T!

Author: Me but the idea is from Mika (aka Sesshi's Favorite Cousin)

Notes: After this I think I'll do the next who would win?! Chapter… It is gonna be Inuyasha (of Inuyasha) vs. Itachi.

Onii-san = Japanese term for Older Brother, san is a suffix that is respectful.

Imoto-san = Term for Younger sister, Chan is a suffix that is used people you like to, hang out with or family or something, it's more informal then san.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

There was chaos and confusion among the people Konoha! There world was failing apart. It seemed like everything they knew was untrue… It was like there were earthquakes shaking everything, snakes biting, bulls charging, lighting shooting every were while volcano's blew up! Of course none of this was really happing; it just kind of had the same feeling. What was causing this feeling, you ask?

Mika and Sasuke…were walking down the street ... AND … NOT… FIGHTING OR ARUGEING! (Insert GASP! Here)

Right now the pair was outside the ramen stand with a confused Shikamaru and a even more confused Ino.

"So are you two dating or something?" Ino asked looking at the two of them.

"WHAT?!" Mika and Sasuke said grossed out.

"No! He's my onii-san now so I like him now!" Mika said hugging her 'brother'.

"That's creepy, what a drag" Shikamaru said as he finished his ramen.

"Yeah well she's my Imoto-chan now, get used to it!" Sasuke said. The four continued to talk but unknown to them Naruto could now see the group. And having walked in at the worst time possible, the first thing he saw was HIS Mika hugging the emo-freak. Of course seeing Mika hugging another boy was bad enough but since it was Sasuke she was hugging this made Naruto really jealous and angry. So he quickly ran over to the pair.

"SASUKE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY GIRL?!" Naruto yelled at Sasuke as he reached the group. Sasuke turned around to face Naruto and Mika looked worried.

"Listen you idiot---"

"YOU LISTEN! Stay away from my girl" Naruto said shoving Sasuke. At this point Shikamaru and Ino quickly fled the scene.

"I wasn't doing anything!" Sasuke said angrily shoving Naruto back.

"Then why- was she hugging you?!" Naruto shouted again as he punched Sasuke which caused the Uchiha to fall in the ramen stand and knock over a bowl of ramen.

"Just listen and I'll explain!" Sasuke said standing up and punching Naruto in the face (from an angle so he hit Naruto's check and Naruto fell back slightly)

"Yeah, explain what?! Like that you're trying to steal her from me?!" Naruto said kicking Sasuke in the nuts causing Sasuke to fall over clutching his 'private area' in pain.

"NARUTO!" Mika shouted angrily. She slapped him across the face and this snapped him back into his senses.

"M-M-Mika" Naruto stuttered as he saw how mad his girlfriend was.

"I was hugging him because he's my Onii-san, my older brother now!" Mika yelled poking Naruto's nose.

"Y-Your brother?"

"Yes! MY BROTHER! Now say sorry…" Mika ordered.

"But, but, but…"

"SAY IT!"

"Sorry Sasuke…" Naruto said looking at the ground. Sasuke, in pain, stood up and glared at Naruto.

"I hate you…"

"ONII-SAN!"

"I mean, apology accepted" Sasuke said as him and Naruto quickly hugged to avoid an angry, Mika's wrath. Though now she looked happy again.

"That's better!" Mika said giving the two boys a hug. (Though while Mika's eyes where closed they glared but when she let go and looked at them they forced smiles and tried to look happy.) The three sat down for ramen as they got odd looks from the people around who had seen what happened.


	20. Who will win? Itachi vs Inuyasha

Crack by Crazys!

Story name: Who will win?! Inuyasha vs. Itachi  
Story rating: T for violence and cursing…  
Author: Me, hehehe…

Notes: Alright here's the next installment of who will win! Sorry if I'm not good at writing Action-ish scenes, one reason I'm doing this Who Will Win is to get better at that.

Onii-chan = Onii for older brother, chan as an informal term used with people you like.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

We start are story in a slightly different fighting ring them last time. There is a wide field of grass in the middle surrounded by a large stone wall with bleacher-type seats around the side (think Colosseum). In air far above the center of the ring there is a floating stone circle and on it is are two host Mika the half cat, half dog demon and the shape shifter MC. In Mika's hand was a microphone while Mc stood confused.

"How is this rock floating!?" Mc asked.

"Onii-chan, it's a CRACK story which means huge stone circles CAN float in mid air. Besides we couldn't risk having a pillar and getting knocked over like last time" Mika explained.

"Yeah, and you made me clean that up!" Mc said annoyed.

"Whatever, let's just get on with the story! Welcome everyone to the new installment of Who Will Win?! Before we start the fight I will tell you about the fighters. The first fighter comes from the anime/manga Inuyasha!" Mika shouted into the microphone as it got stolen by MC.

"Inuyasha is a series that follows a time-traveling high school student, a half-demon, a lecherous monk, a fox demon, a demon slayer, and a nekomata in feudal Japan as they seek to find all the fragments of the Jewel of Four Souls and to keep them out of the hands of evildoers. The jewel of four souls is a powerful jewel that can be used for good or evil. The main character in the Series is Inuyasha a half-demon who wishes to get the jewel and kill an evil demon named Naraku." Mc said about the series as Mika pushed him to the edge of the stone circle and took the microphone.

"Inuyasha will be the fighter today. Inuyasha is a brave but naïve half-demon. His father was a dog demon lord and his mother a human women. He maintains a crass, rude attitude towards almost everyone, yet he levels it to a lesser degree towards the rest of his companions except Shippo (a young fox demon). One of Inuyasha's prominent character traits is his tendency to allow his anger to cloud his judgment and cause him to act rashly, often resulting in violence. InuYasha is offended when someone suggests that he is inferior to yōkai due to his human parentage." Mika explained to everyone before MC took over.

"InuYasha has both physical attacks and sword techniques and abilities. He has superhuman strength, speed, stamina, defense, healing, and senses, particularly hearing and smell. Being part yōkai, he also has the ability to channel his yōkai energy into his claws into an attack named Iron Reaver Soul Stealer that, when combined with Inuyasha's blood, is called Blades of Blood. InuYasha also carries the sword Tetsusaiga, which enables him to use such moves as Kenatsu, the ability to cut an enemy without physical contact, Wind Scar, a special attack accomplished by finding the fissure or scar between colliding demonic winds of Tetsusaiga's wielder and the opposing demon, and Backlash Wave, which creates large twisters that redirects the enemies attack while adding a Wind Scar to it---"

"SO LET'S BRING OUT INUYASHA!" Mika shouted as she had gotten the microphone back. On one side of the large field appeared Inuyasha. Inuyasha has a mostly human look except for a pair of fuzzy white dog ears. He has white hair and sharp nails/claws. He is wearing a jacket with "separated" sleeves, kosode (shirt), hakama (pants) bloused at the ankles and an obi (belt). All are red in color and are said to be fireproof as they are made of 'fire-rat fur'. He has a sword hostler on his belt and in it appears to be a rusty old sword.

"And as for are Naruto fighter, let's bring out the clan-killer himself ITACHI!" Mika shouted as Itachi dressed in his akatsuki robe appeared. MC took the microphone from Mika who was looking down at Inuyasha and Itachi.

"LET THE FIGHT BEGIN!" MC shouted.

"Hmmm should I cheer for my onii-san (Itachi) or my cousin? (Inuyasha)" Mika thought to herself out loud as the battle started.

**-Down in the field with Inuyasha and Itachi-**

"So this is my opponent?" Itachi said to no one in particular as he looked at Inuyasha.

"Yeah and I'm going to crush you!" Inuyasha said running towards Itachi. He jumped in and swiped at Itachi shouting "Iron Reaver Soul Stealer!" As he made his attack he was surprised to see that Itachi had moved out of the way and that he (Inuyasha) had hit the wall.

"Fire style: Fire ball jutsu" Itachi said from a little ways behind Inuyasha. Inuyasha turned just in time to see the fire ball come at him and jump to avoid it.

"So you're better then you look?" Itachi said before noticing Inuyasha in front of him. Inuyasha used his iron reaver soul stealer attack again, this time hitting Itachi and cutting the akatsuki member in the stomach (which also ripped part of his clock. Itachi quickly moved after being hit and created a bunch of show clones and circled Inuyasha.

"What the hell?" Inuyasha said as he stood the circle of Itachis. At this point he pulled out his rusty sword, which when pulled out, turned into a large (roughly the size of a car bumper) sword that was much nicer looking and was sharp. He swung the sword and even though he missed Itachi, he still had a cut.

"How did you do that?"

"Kenatsu- I can cut an opponent without hitting them" Inuyasha said smirking.

"You're still weak" Itachi said plainly.

"I am not!" Inuyasha shouted angrily. "WIND SCAR!" Inuyasha shouted but to his surprise nothing happened. Before he could question what happened he his hit by Itachi's clones and sent across the field.

"Inuyasha that attack will not work on Itachi! The wind scar works on demons only, ITACHI'S HUMAN!" Mika shouted into the microphone down to Inuyasha who was standing up in pain.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner!?" Inuyasha shouted angrily.

"Tsukuyomi" Was all Inuyasha heard as he turned to look at Itachi and looked straight into Itachi's Mangekyo Sharingan eyes. Before he could tell what has happening he was caught in one of the most powerful Sharingan attacks.

**-The illusion-**

In the illusion that Itachi was using on Inuyasha there was a red moon in the sky while the background was red with some gray/black in it though the people themselves were in a grayscale inverted color. In the illusion Inuyasha was chained to the ground, back down, in a shape that was if he was making a snow angel (the chains were also a grayscale inverted color.) He looked up and saw Itachi next to him with a sword which Itachi pushed into Inuyasha's stomach causing the demon to yelp. While none of this was really happing the Tsukuyomi is such a powerful genjutsu that it can cause the victim to suffer a complete mental breakdown. Itachi's tormenting of Inuyasha felt to them like days but in the real world lasted only a few seconds.

**-The real world-**

A few seconds after Itachi used the attack Inuyasha fell to the ground, dropping his sword which turned back into its old worn out smaller form.

"And the winner is Itachi!" MC shouted as the rock lowered to the ground allowing the host and co-host to step off before it fell back up.

"Was it really necessary to use the Tsukuyomi on Inuyasha?" Mika said to Itachi as Itachi's eyes went back to normal. Itachi didn't reply and instead just walked towards the exit which was the large door in the front of the fighting ring.

"Don't ignore me Itachi!"


	21. Fishing Trips and Editors

Crack by Crazys!

Story name: Fishing Trips and Editors  
Story rating: I don't know, you people don't care about the rating anyway.  
Author: ME!

Notes: Hope you like this story. I'm in a really good mood cause my older sister, TheSunDeity, just got back from her trip with my mom to Disney world in Florida. And while they were at Epcot in the Japan section they got me a Sesshormaru plushy so I'm in a really good mood.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

One day Naruto was taking a peaceful walk in an old path in the forest. A creepy haunted forest full of blackened dead/dying trees. The forest was full of strange animals that at night time or in the dark could only be seen by their red or yellow glowing eyes. Most of these animals had sharp teeth, claws and looked like they could kill a man.

"HOW CAN I TAKE A PEACEFUL WALK IN A PLACE LIKE THIS!?" Naruto shouted. You just can Naruto, get over it… Anyways as he was walking down the path…

"Wait who's talking?" Naruto said looking around confused. I am! I'm the author or narrator type thing… I think…

"Then why can't I see you?" Naruto asked annoyed. YOU JUST CAN'T! Anyways as Naruto walked down the path he decided to be an idiot and go off path into the forest. He came across a small lake with thick, murky waters that was filled with small evil little fish that would gladly eat you alive. One of the fish jumped up but was grabbed by a bird that had black feathers, red eyes and sharp talons/spikes. The bird carried the fish away with a scary bird call.

"Boy this place sucks…" Naruto said as he saw the bird rip the fish apart and eat it leaving only a small puddle of blood were it had killed the fish. Suddenly a fishing pole appeared and Naruto decided to go fishing.

"Why would I fish here?!" Naruto complained. BECAUSE I SAID SO! So pick up your pole and fish… Naruto grumbled as he picked up the pole and started to dig worms up out of the ground while complaining about how gross this was and how much he hated the author/narrator thing… HAY! Don't you yell at me you loser… Anyway Naruto put a warm on the end of the fishing hook and threw the hook in the water and waited for something to bite. And he waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and---

"Would you get on with the story already!?" He yelled. Fine grumpy… Anyway he finally got a bite on his pole and giggled with glee. As he started to pull the fish in he saw that he had hooked a huge, red fish that had spike coming out of its back and that had yellow eyes.

"What kind of fish looks like that?!" Naruto screamed as the fish tugged on his line putting up a heck of a fight. And to answer your question, the fish I make up look like that hehehe… The fish gave one last tug before Naruto hauled it up on to the ground. But suddenly the fish mutated and grew arms and legs then walked away.

"WHAT?!" Naruto shouted. Hay, it's my story and the fish can do that if they want to. Anyway, Naruto having gained nothing from his walk headed back the leaf village… The End!

"Wait, wait, wait!" What Naruto?

"That can't be the ending!" Why not?

"Cause that ending sucked." It did?

"Yes, and will you stop answering it 2 word-long questions!" Fine… So why did it suck?

"Because it was a stupid ending, I didn't get anything and I just gave up after one try." Would had been better if it had ended like this?

"What kind of fish looks like that?!" Naruto screamed as the fish tugged on his line putting up a heck of a fight. And to answer your question, the fish I make up look like that hehehe… The fish gave one last tug before Naruto hauled it up on to the ground. But suddenly the fish mutated and grew arms and legs then walked away.

"That was strange but I shall not give up!" Naruto shouted as he threw his line in the water. Another fish gave a tug and Naruto struggled with the fish before pulling a large striped bass out of the water. He cheered before taking the fish and headed back to the leaf village.

"That's a much better ending… But let's fix the rest of the story." Okay Naruto, help me fix it…

"Okay let's start with the beginning!" Okay, how can I fix that?

"Make the forest happier…" Okay! One day Naruto was taking a peaceful walk in an old path in the forest. The forest had large green trees filled with leafs and small little animals that made people smile. There were rabbits on the ground and little deer and buck.

"Not that happy… That makes it stupid."

Fine… One day Naruto was taking a peaceful walk in an old path in the forest. The forest had large green trees and animals of all sorts in it.

"This is a nice place to take a walk," Naruto said. I'm sure it is a nice place Naruto…

"Wait who's talking?" Naruto said looking around confused. I am! I'm the author or narrator type thing… I think…

"That's better, now let's fix up the next part!" Are you going to make me fix the whole thing Naruto?

"YES!" Fine… Anyway how did I fix the next part?

"Make the lake seem more normal." All RIGHT!

"Then why can't I see you?" Naruto asked annoyed. YOU JUST CAN'T! Anyways as Naruto walked down the path he decided it would be fun to take a look around the forest. He came across a lake that had nice blue water and was filled with many fish.

"Boy this place is nice!" Naruto said as he picked up a fishing pole that appeared out of thin air.

"Why would I not fish here?" Naruto asked himself. Naruto grumbled as he started to dig worms up out of the ground while complaining about how gross this was and how much he disliked the author/narrator thing… HAY! Don't you yell at me you loser… Anyway Naruto put a warm on the end of the fishing hook and threw the hook in the water and waited for something to bite. And he waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and---

"Would you get on with the story already!?" He yelled. Fine grumpy… Anyway he finally got a bite on his pole and giggled with glee. As he started to pull the fish in he saw that he had hooked a huge, red fish that had spike coming out of its back and that had yellow eyes."

"Better but make this fish less creepy…" Why should I do that?

"Because I said so!" But it's my story Naruto, not yours.

"Well it stars me…" Fine, I'll change it.

"Would you get on with the story already!?" He yelled. Fine grumpy… Anyway he finally got a bite on his pole and giggled with glee. As he started to pull the fish in he saw that he had hooked a big, blue fish that he knew would look nice on his wall.

"I can't wait to catch this fish!" Naruto screamed as the fish tugged on his line putting up a heck of a fight. I'm sure you can't wait to catch it, hehehe… The fish gave one last tug before Naruto hauled it up on to the ground. But suddenly the fish mutated and grew arms and legs then walked away.

"Good now put the whole thing together as one long improved story." Fine, here's the whole thing together as you said 'improved'.

One day Naruto was taking a peaceful walk in an old path in the forest. The forest had large green trees and animals of all sorts in it.

"This is a nice place to take a walk," Naruto said. I'm sure it is a nice place Naruto…

"Wait who's talking?" Naruto said looking around confused. I am! I'm the author or narrator type thing… I think…

"Then why can't I see you?" Naruto asked annoyed. YOU JUST CAN'T! Anyways as Naruto walked down the path he decided it would be fun to take a look around the forest. He came across a lake that had nice blue water and was filled with many fish.

"Boy this place is nice!" Naruto said as he picked up a fishing pole that appeared out of thin air.

"Why would I not fish here?" Naruto asked himself. Naruto grumbled as he started to dig worms up out of the ground while complaining about how gross this was and how much he disliked the author/narrator thing… HAY! Don't you yell at me you loser… Anyway Naruto put a warm on the end of the fishing hook and threw the hook in the water and waited for something to bite. And he waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and---

"Would you get on with the story already!?" He yelled. Fine grumpy… Anyway he finally got a bite on his pole and giggled with glee. As he started to pull the fish in he saw that he had hooked a big, blue fish that he knew would look nice on his wall.

"I can't wait to catch this fish!" Naruto screamed as the fish tugged on his line putting up a heck of a fight. I'm sure you can't wait to catch it, hehehe… The fish gave one last tug before Naruto hauled it up on to the ground. But suddenly the fish mutated and grew arms and legs then walked away.

"That was strange but I shall not give up!" Naruto shouted as he threw his line in the water. Another fish gave a tug and Naruto struggled with the fish before pulling a large striped bass out of the water. He cheered before taking the fish and headed back to the leaf village. THE END!


	22. The Many Uses of an Uchiha

Crack by Crazys!

Story Name: The many uses of an Uchiha  
Story Rating: k+  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything

I was bored… So I wrote this, sorry it's short!  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
**  
Hay you!

Yes you!

Are you bored with life?

Need help around the House?

Or just want some to talk with?

THEN IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY BECAUSE THERE'S A BRAND NEW PRODUCT TO HELP YOU OUT! (Suddenly Sasuke and Itachi fell from the sky into a normal house).

That's right, it's the Uchiha!

"What the heck!?" Sasuke shouted. You can use it to…

Unclog your toilet (A giant floating hand grabbed Sasuke and as he yelled angrily used his head to unclog a toilet.)

Start a bonfire (Outside by some wood the hand squished Sasuke and cause him to use his fire jutsu and light the wood)

Or baby sit your children!

"Well it can't be that bad…" Sasuke said when suddenly at least 10 children appeared.

"Who has this many kids!?"

Yes and the Uchiha model Sasuke can be used for much, much more but if you need more power…. You can order the Uchiha model Itachi! Itachi can…

Scare your neighbors! (Itachi glared at the neighbors causing them to run.)

Make your old boyfriend jealous! (Suddenly a girl appeared with Itachi at a restaurant with any angry boy staring at them.)

Or murder those pesky people in your life! (-Censer-)

BUT IT GET'S BETTER! They require a low amount care! Just throw them in the closet when not in use. (The hand chucked the two in the closet as they yelled annoyed.) All they require is a meal twice a day or so and access to a bathroom. They even clean themselves!

And they can be bought for…

"Hay I am not for sale!" Sasuke said braking out of the closet before the hand grabbed him again.  
Itachi just stood there…

THE VERY LOW, LOW PRICE OF 3 ORDERS OF 49.99 (150) WITH THE ITACHI MODEL ONLY 3 ORDERS OF 59.99 (180)! But wait! There's more!

"Good god not more…" (Sasuke)

Yes more! If you call in the next five minutes you can get both an Itachi and a Sasuke model for the discount price of 4 orders of 39.99 (160)! So pick up those phones and call us now at 1-800-Uchiha today! You can't find a product better than this so order now!

(Said quickly) The Uchiha is not for everyone; please see a doctor before ordering an Uchiha. Side effects may include: Burns, broken bones, electrocution, hallucinations of pain and suffering, black fire, painful cuts, death and in rare cases loss of friends/family has accorded. Tell your doctor if any of these things happen to you as it might be signs of a serious side effect.

ORDER TODAY!


	23. Tiny People in my Rubik’s Cube

Crack by Crazys!

Story Name: Tiny People in my Rubik's Cube  
Story rating: Eh… This story is innocent enough, I say like K.

Notes: The Rubik's Cube is a 3-D mechanical puzzle invented in 1974. In a classic Rubik's Cube, each of the six faces is covered by 9 stickers, among six solid colors (traditionally white, red, blue, orange, green, and yellow). A pivot mechanism enables each face to turn independently, thus mixing up the colors. For the puzzle to be solved, each face must be a solid color.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Sorry about how short this story is.**

Shikamaru walked though the park on the dirt path thinking to himself. He continued to walk until he noticed Choji sitting on the bench holding the small multi-colored cube, known as a Rubik's cube. He was staring at it with a confused look…

"Trying to solve the cube Choji?" Shikamaru asked walking up to Choji.

"Huh? Oh, hi Shikamaru! No I'm not trying to finish it…" Choji replied.

"Then why do you have it with you?"

"I'm trying to get the tiny people out of it…"

"**………**What?"

"I keep hearing a voice and I think there are tiny people trapped inside my Rubik's cube."

"I don't think that's possible Choji."

"And why not?"

"How would the tiny people get water or food?"

"… Maybe they don't need it!"

"I doubt that."

"Well we just have to check once I get them out!"

"THERE ARE NO PEOPLE IN THE CUBE CHOJI! I would know I've solved those cube's tons of times before and I've never heard anything."

"Maybe there in this cube specifically."

"…"

"What?"

"I'll see you later Choji…"

-------- Later -------

Shikamaru sat at the ramen bar enjoying some ramen as Choji ran up to him.

"HA!"

"What?" Shikamaru asked as he looked at Choji. Choji opened his hands to show a broken Rubik's Cube and tiny people standing inside it.

"I told you!"

"…"


	24. Deity's Hit List

Crack by Crazys!

Story name: Deity-sama's hit list  
Story rating: **T** for blood, gore, language and violence.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto/any characters/places and Deity belongs to my onee-sama! (I don't own happy tree friends either)

Notes: Here's the latest crack story, oh and just so you know my onee-sama really does have a tattoo of a sun on her back. It's cool, if you wanna see a picture of it give me your e-mail address and I'll email you a picture (with my account from yahoo:  
Sulking_Wolf (at symble) Yahoo (dot) Com. This chapter is more violent than normal, (I've been watching too much Happy Tree Friends I think.)

_(Oh and I noticed I kind of switched back and forth between present and past tense a little… Sorry about that…_)  
WARNING: Slight spoiler, not much but I don't wanna spill anything for people who don't like spoilers.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Deity has a happy girl, well not happy… More or less either uncaring but she did demand respect from her younger sister. Deity's hair is blond with some blue on the top and purple strikes in it. She stands at 5'6" which makes her 3 or 4 inches taller than Wolf. Deity's outfit consisted of a white shirt under a blue and black cool zigzag-y jacket and some jeans (with a kunai pouch on her right leg) (Her leaf headband is worn on right arm below her shoulder.) Strapped to her back black strap/holster thing that she wore was one of her favorite weapons, a long sharp scythe (good for fighting melee and also has some range). One cool thing about her is her sun tattoo on her back. But Deity has a dark side, a dark side that wants to hurt people. Mostly just people she doesn't like. So she set out with a list:

_Deity-sama's Hit list:_

_Orochimaru  
Kabuto  
Kakuzu  
Zetsu  
Pain/Pein (all 6 of them)  
Sakura  
Karin  
Tayuya_

She set off to find the first target on her list. For her first trip she went to Orochimaru's hideout where the snake perv and his little uke-I mean Kabuto were. She tip-toed in the lair to Orochimaru's room where he was getting medicine from Kabuto. She smiled as she shall then and pulled her scythe out of its holster thing and… **-CENSER** _(don't want to scar the kids' kukuku…)_**-**Deity smiled as she used a piece of Kabuto's shirt to wipe the blood clean from the blade of the scythe before putting it back in place. She checked off Orochimaru and Kabuto on her list before heading to a bounty collection room (aka where Kakuzu is…). She walked in trying to ignore the awful smell (the bounty collection area thing is hidden in a rest room after all…) She spotted Kakuzu and smirked as she pulled out some kunai and prepared for battle.

**-CENSER **_(kukuku have to censer the fight again.)__**-**_

As Deity walked away wiping blood from her check she felt disappointed. Sure she got him but she got blood her jacket and shoes. _Oh well…_ she thought as she left the smelly place and went into the fresh air (ignoring the yell of 'What the Hell happened to Kakuzu?!' In the background). She checked Kakuzu off the list and looked to see her next victim…

_Orochimaru -Killed-  
Kabuto -Killed-  
Kakuzu-Killed- :3  
Zetsu  
Pain/Pein (however you spell it…) (all 6 of them)  
Sakura  
Karin  
Tayuya_

"Zetsu is next huh, this will be fun…" Deity said to herself with a sadistic smile before heading off the to hidden Akatsuki headquarters. But she has connections (coughitachicough) and knows where the HQ is. When she arrived she headed to Zetsu's room prepared with a evil weapon, WEED SPRAY! She jumped in shouting 'HA!'

"What the heck are you doing!?" Zetsu's black half asked, while the white half said, "Nice to see you Deity!"

"Sorry Zetsu but your dead…" Deity said. Before Zetsu could respond she sprayed him with the weed killer and he fell over, dead. She smirked and carefully, without being noticed, went outside the room where Pain's 6 bodies were sleeping. First she set up an industry-strength meat grinder and turned it on before using a powerful electromagnet to suck Pain's bodies into the grinder (he was pulled cause of his Piercings) which ground him into little pieces of meat.

_Ewww…_ She thought as blood and little pieces of meat and Piercings came out on end of the grinder. She walked away checking Pain and Zetsu off the list before going to the leaf village to kill Sakura.

As she arrived at the leaf village she went to Sakura's house and knocked on the front door, smiling, and holding her scythe behind her back with one hand. Sakura answered the door and before she could even say 'hello' **SWIPE **her head fell to the floor. (Deity used her scythe to behead Sakura.) Deity bend down and used Sakura's shirt to wipe the blood off her scythe before checking Sakura off the list and looking too see who was next…Karin! And since this story takes place at no specific time I'm placing Karin in the prison where she's the warden over the people that Orochimaru had held prisoner. Deity walked in over to one of the cages, kneeled down and looked in at the prisoners.

_Orochimaru -Killed-  
Kabuto -Killed-  
Kakuzu-Killed- :3  
Zetsu -Killed-  
Pain/Pein (however you spell it…) (all 6 of them) -they all died, hehehe-  
Sakura-killed- :)  
Karin  
Tayuya_

"Where's Karin?" Deity asked the prisoners.

"I'm over here" Deity heard a voice from behind her said. She looked over and saw Karin at the end of the hallway. So Deity stood up and …

**-CENSER (**_no the censers back!)_**-**

Deity laughed as she looked Karin's chopped up and burning body. (Hay she is The SUN Deity, she should have some kind of kick-butt fire move…) She looked over at the prisoners and, in a moment of compassion, chopped the lock off the door before putting her scythe away and heading to Tayuya. When she found the small camp Tayuya was staying at. She walked over to Tayuya and took the flute right from her hands.

"What the--?!" Tayuya started but she was interrupted as Deity shoved the flute though Tayuya's chest impaling and killing her. Blood started to drip out of the end of the flute as Deity smirked and checked off last name on her list… She returned to the leaf village and entered her house as she normally did and sat down on the couch in the living room. Wolf sat on the chair not noticing the blood stains on Deity's jacket and pants .

"How was your day out?" Wolf said taking half-second to look over at Deity before turning back to the paper she was working on. Of course Wolf was unaware of what Deity had been doing all day…

"It was fun…"


	25. Spreading the Youth

Crack by Crazys!

Story name: Spreading the Youth!  
Story rating: T? K+?

Notes: Woot! Cressali-Wane Colapsi (aka Wane) belongs to Night's Second Moon's (aka Twi). So anyway, I hope you like the chapter, BE YOUTHFUL! WOOT! This is the 25th chapter of Crack by Crazys! Next will most likely be a who will win?! Chapter…

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.**

Little did the innocent people of the Leaf Village know but something strange was about to happen. You see, Wolf had decided to 'embrace the youth' and was feeling rather hyper today so she wanted to make other people feel happy. To go with her new 'youthfulness' she changed her outfit; she was wearing a pair of black ninja sandals, green slightly baggy pants with a red belt, a black t-shirt with the leaf village symbol on the front in red, and she wore her leaf village head band tied around her neck. Wolf liked her appearance but one thing bugged her about it, she only stood a 5'3" which made her pretty much shorten then most people she knew, even if the people were younger than her.

Wolf was heading to pick up the people she was going to 'spread the youth' with. Which were Rock Lee and one of her friends Cressali-Wane Colapsi, known as Wane.

"Yo Wane! What's up?" Wolf called out to her friend as she found her.

"Hay!" Wane replied. Wane was the same height as Wolf. She is a healthy skinny, with tan porcelain colored skin with a rosy tint on her face. Her outfit at the moment was a black dress that hung a few inches above her knees and leggings. She also was wearing huge ruffled ribbons in her hair and had a pair of huge headphones on. She also was holding a stick of chocolate pocky in her mouth. She normally always had a stick of pocky in her mouth. Wane was also a demon like some of her friends, she was 1/2 cat demon, 1/4 wolf demon, and 1/4 fox demon.

"Want to help me spread the youth?"

"What?"

"I'm going to encourage people to embrace the youth!"

"What does that mean?"

"Well embrace means to take up willingly or eagerly, also means to clasp or hold close with the arms, usually as an expression of affection, and youth means; the time of life between childhood and maturity or the condition or quality of being young…" Wolf explained smiling.

"Oh…" Wane said, "Okay, why not?" Wane said shrugging her shoulders. So, after stopping at Rock Lee's house and picking him up, they headed out to help the others embrace the youth. First they went to the ramen bar where they spotted Neji and Tenten. The three smiled and went to their targe- I mean 'friends.'

"TENTEN!" Wolf shouted as she charged up and tackled Tenten to the ground.

"AHH! What the heck Wolf!?" Tenten exclaimed annoyed.

"YOU MUST EMBRACE THE YOUTH TENTEN!" Wolf shouted as she stood up.

"I must what?" Tenten asked confused as she stood up.

"Embrace the youth, just like I did!" Wolf exclaimed as she smiled and did the 'Good Guy' pose (A thumbs up with a 'pinging' smile.

"Oh god, not another one…" Tenten said smacking her forehead with annoyance.

"Another what?

"Another 'youth' person…"

"What's wrong with being youthful?"

"It's creepy and stupid…"

"Hay!" Wolf said her wolf-ears dropping down. Meanwhile Rock Lee and Wane were talking to Neji…

"You should join us Neji!" Rock Lee said with a grin.

"No."

"But-"

"No, Lee, no…"

So, without any new people being youthful, there trio headed out.

"I got an idea!" Wane said.

"What is it?" Wolf asked as the three walked down a path to no place in particular.

"Let's split up, that way we can get more people!"

"That's a youthful idea!" Rock Lee said. So the three agreed on the idea and they split up, each with a person in mind to corruption with youthfulness and headed there ways.

**-With Rock Lee and Naruto-**

"Hello Naruto!" Rock Lee said as he walked over to where Naruto was training.

"Oh, hay bushy brows!" Naruto exclaimed looking over at Lee.

"Say Naruto, you should be more youthful!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well Wolf, Wane and I are going around and trying to convince people to be more youthful! How about it?"

"Sure, sounds funny!" Naruto said laughing. Rock Lee smiled and the two walked off to get Naruto a more youthful outfit.

-**With Wane and Sakura-**

"HEY SAKURA!" Wane called out loudly as she saw the pinkie.

"Oh hay Wane! Wait if I got killed by Deity how am I alive?" Sakura asked confused.

"I don't know… But anyway you're going to be more youthful!" Wane said grabbing Sakura by the collar of her shirt and dragging her.

"Don't I have a choice…?"

"No," Wane said simply as she dragged Sakura away to be more youthful.

**-With Wolf and Deity-**

"Onee-sama, want to be more youthful?" Wolf asked as she walked into their home. Deity, who was sitting on the couch reading a book, simply looked up at her sister and replied.

"No…"

"Oh come on Onee-sama! It will be fun!" Wolf said grinning like an idiot. But instead of a response she got Deity's scythe swung at her head. So Wolf decided it would be best not to bug Deity anymore and ran _o_ff.

-**Later, with all 5-**

Later all 5 meet up. While Wolf, Wane and Lee were in the outfits there where in before; Naruto had on a similar out to the one he normally wears but this time it has green instead of orange, and Sakura's outfit had been painted green (against her will). Sakura was also tied to a pole being carried by Wane who, know had a piece of strawberry pocky in her mouth instead of chocolate.

"So what now?" Wane asked as she jabbed the end of the pole into the ground to get in up straight.

"I'm not sure…" Wolf and Lee said at the same time. They were about of think of things to do when they heard an angry, female scream from behind them. All looked over and saw Mika, angry glaring at Lee.

"LEE! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY NARUTO?!" The demon girl shouted running over and pulling Naruto over to her.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked confused as Lee cowered in fear.

"You look like an idiot!"

"I've decided to be more youthful!"

"NO! I will not let you turn into Lee, which reminds me be the way Lee-"Mika said sending Lee a I'm-going-to-kill-you glare.

"Are you going to hurt me?" Lee asked scared…

"No… (Lee sighed in relief) I'm going to summon something to hurt you!" Mika said as she bit her thumb and placed on her hands on the ground summoning a tiger-sized cat with all black fur, sharp claws, and large fangs. The cat roared loudly and ran after Lee who screamed like a girl and ran.

"Was that really necessary Mika?" Wolf asked frightened.

"Yes! Now Naruto you're coming with me!" Mika said as she dragged Naruto out to get changed into his normal outfit.

"Now what?" Wolf said. Wane just shrugged her shoulders and walked off, which left only a tied up Sakura and a confused Wolf.

"Oh well, later…" Wolf said walking away leaving Sakura tied to a pole.

"HAY! WHAT ABOUT ME?!"


	26. Who will win? Tenten vs Flippy

Crack by Crazys!

Story Name: Who will win?! Tenten vs. flipped-out Flippy

Story Rating: **T** for Blood, Gore, Violence, Animal fighting.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the Naruto or Happy Tree Friends franchise nor do I make profit off of this story. TAKE THAT LAWYER PUNKS.

Notes: Sorry I have not updated for a while and be warned now this chapter will be more bloody and violent then normal.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

In the Colosseum type arena, on the big circle rock that floated in the middle above were the people fought was the host of Who Will win, Mika and her co-host MC.

"WELCOME TO WHO WILL WIN!" Mika shouted from atop the floating rock.

"Let's get right to it and introduce the challenger. Today's challenger comes from the TV series/internet series Happy Tree Friends. Happy Tree Friends is a series of flash cartoons featuring cute cartoon animals dying or being killed in violent and gruesome ways. Despite dying in many episodes the main characters will be alive and unharmed in the next episode they appear in," MC exclaimed as he described the show.

"Today's challenger is one of the 20 main characters, a small green bear named Flippy. Flippy is a war vet suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder who that upon seeing or hearing anything that reminds of war will 'flip-out' and kills anyone around in his insane rage. Flippy will use anything he can get his hands on as a weapon but also uses grenades and carries around a bowie knife which he uses to kill people a lot. In the series he has a kill count of 65+ and a death count of 5 giving him a kill to death ratio of 13:1 (13 kills for everyone 1 death). So let's bring out Flippy!" Mika said.

A door appeared on a wall at one end of the field and out walked Flippy. Flippy is a small green male bear with dog tags and a green beret with checkered crest. He also wears a green and brown cameo shirt. He also has a 'cute' pink heart shaped nose and buck teeth.

"And Flippy's Naruto opponent is the weapon-wielding konochi herself Tenten!" MC said as a wooden door appeared on the end opposite of Flippy and Tenten walked out. In his normal state Flippy is a happy friendly character. Suddenly Wolf walked out from the door behind Flippy, a small pistol in hand.

_**BANG**_

The gun made the sound as Wolf shot up in the air before poofing up on to the floating block were MC and Mika were. Flippy screamed and jumped on the ground 'flipping-out'. His eyes turned yellow and his teeth became sharper, his voice became deeper and angrier. Now flipped out, he stud up.

"Let the fight begin!"

With that said Tenten pulled several kunai out of her kunai pouch while Flippy pulled the door knob out of the door behind him. He charged forward and tossed the door knob at Tenten's head which she deflected with one of her knives. She then threw the other two at Flippy. Laughing, Flippy jumped up to avoid the attack. When the kunai hit the ground he picked them up and threw them at Tenten.

"Whoa," Tenten stated as she pulled out another kunai to block the shot. She blocked them causing the knives to fall on the ground. She then reached in her bag and pulled out five shuriken and tossed them all. Flippy, thinking fast, pulled a piece of wood out of the door and used it to catch the five ninja stars on.

"Darn it…" said Tenten as pulled out two small scrolls and made hand signs. Suddenly large amounts of smoke appeared in the forms of dragons and shot up in the air. "Rising Twin Dragons!"

"Huh?" Flippy said as smoke faded, showing the spinning scrolls in the air.

Tenten launched herself up in the air and pulled/summoned many weapons out of the scrolls and tossed them at Flippy. Suddenly Flippy pulled out a grenade and pulled the pin out then threw where the weapons were coming from. The explosion caused the weapons (which were still in midair) to go flying out in all directions and scattering them across the field. A few flew at Tenten and Flippy, both of which managed to dodge most of them but had a few scratches on them as well as Flippy having a longer cut on his face. As Tenten landed on the ground again, shocked that he stopped her attack, Flippy pulled out his bowie knife and charged at Tenten. She quickly picked up a weapon from the ground as Flippy was next to her; he jumped at her and attempted to slash her with his knife. While she managed to knock the knife from his hands, Flippy managed to knock her to the ground. While she stood herself back up, he got behind her and with a discarded kunai picked up from the ground in hand; he jumped on her back and slashed her across the chest.

"Gahhh!" Tenten cried out in pain as she her hand on the now bleeding but. Stunned momentary she did not notice Flippy come up from behind her with his bowie knife back in his grip. He quickly made a large cut in her back and then pulled out a church on her skin out making a hole in her back.

"AGHHHH" Tenten cried out again from the pain now on the ground in pain. Flippy finished the fight but shoving an active grenade in Tenten's back before backing up. A few seconds later…

**BOOM ******

Blood shot everywhere along with pieces of flesh, organs, chucks of Tenten's body, the explosion had littler blew Tenten up. Flippy, with some of Tenten's blood covering his body, laughed madly picking up his bowie knife.

Up on the floating rock Mika and Mc were somewhat grossed out from seeing Tenten blown up and seeing chucks of flesh and organs and blood on the field. But Wolf, who had stayed up on the rock watching the fight cheered before teleporting Flippy back to his world and poofing away herself.

"Whose gonna clean that up?" MC asked.

Both the host and co-host looked at each other before shouting "You do it!"

"How about we hire someone to clean it?" Mika suggested.

"Sounds good!"


	27. Random Romance, Part 1

Crack by Crazys

Story Title: Random Romance, Part 1!  
Story Rating: T, because I feel like rating T. Don't like it? TOO BAD!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything relating to the following Fandoms: Naruto, Inuyasha, and Happy Tree Friends.

**Notes:** My loving Real Life Onii-san "Echo" as he shall be known helped me pick out these TOTTALY RANDOM PAIRINGS in a hat. PLEASE DO NOT SEND THE MAFIA AFTER ME, KILL MY BROTHER INSTEAD!!! I just type the names, my Onii-san Echo made the pairings! _**SPARE MEEEE!!!!**_

Notes 2: Also it was my birthday June 15th (smile) another reason to not kill me.  
(Also: don't worry that the pairings are random, there is no Yuri, family with family, OCs paired with each other, and no Yaoi/Yuri involving OCs.) (I'm not that heartless :D)  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
**  
Music pumped from two speakers and seemed to fill the large room they were in. In inside this room there was also a large table with foods of all kind, for meat to fruit to candies and sodas, upon it. In the front of the room there was a stage with a microphone in a microphone stand on it. But there was also a large empty space between the stage, the tables with the food, the tables for eating and everything else. That space had a floor which was alight with colors from the electronic flashing colored tiles in the floor below. This space was none-other-then a large party area and there were many party goers there. From the Konoha 11 (minus Ino), the many friends that they grew to love (Wolf, Deity, Toffee, Wane, MC, Mika, Mayuki), Kakashi, even some akatsuki members (Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi), and few people that some of the others did not recognize.

"Who are those two?" Sakura asked Wolf, sipping some punch from a cup in hand.

The two people she was questioning about looked at her. One, a human-looking male with white dog ears wearing a jacket with "separated" sleeves, kosode (shirt), hakama (pants) bloused at the ankles and an obi (belt) all are red in color. The other a man with an orange afro and side burns, wearing a yellow leisure jacket, yellow bell-bottom pants, and orange and white dancing platform shoes (very 70s).

"The one in red is Inuyasha! The one who looks like he belongs in the 70s is Disco Bear from Happy Tree Friends, but since I didn't feel like having him be a bear I turned him into a human…" Wolf explained.

"Oh…"

As the party really started, people ate, people danced and they were having so much fun no one seemed to notice, or cared enough to point out, an extra person slip in the room through a side door…

As people got on the dance floor, the figure slipped over to the tables and grabbed itself a snack.

"Who are you?!" A voice asked from behind. The figure turned around and saw Sasuke staring confused.

Sasuke observed as the figure stared at him. 'The figure' he could tell, was male. He was wearing black shorts with sliver chains hanging off the sides, and white sneakers. Since he was not wearing a shirt you could tell he had a slight build. Tattooed on his chest was a picture of a heart with an arrow going through it, on his back sprouted a pair of large, white, feathery angelic wings. He had clam yellow eyes, and a dimly glowing golden halo floating above his head. He also had a holster strapped around his chest which held a pink bow and golden arrows.

"I'm Tiber, I work for cupid, you know the dude who shoots arrows and makes people fall in love," The boy answered. Sasuke, not caring as is his normal nature, walked off.

"Hmmm…" Tiber thought aloud to himself. He had been out by Cupid because the winged angel of love could no longer stand Tiber's rebel behavior. Tiber did not fit the normal way one would think an angel of love would act; he caused trouble, got a tattoo, and used his powers to cause trouble for people. Which was why he had come here in the first place, he liked to go to large gatherings and use his love inducing arrows to create trouble.

"_Well this looks like a good spot to cause some madness. I know Cupid would not approve but I mean I'm not hurting anyone, the love arrows I use wear off in a day so what's the harm in having a little fun with them? Hehehe…"_ Tiber thought as he pulled out his bow and loaded an arrow inside of it. After a minute he decided on whom to shot as a target and fired his magic golden arrow at them. The arrow hit the person and glowed as it seemed to dissolve into the target as it hit them instead of logging itself inside the person like a normal arrow would. Quickly the persons hand went on the area of the back were the arrow had it…

"What's that tingly feeling?" Mika thought as she rubbed the spot, were unknown to here, Tiber had shot her with an arrow. And also unknown to her the magic arrow was about to take effect, making the target fall in love with the next person of their sexual preference that they saw.

Shrugging her shoulders, Mika turned and saw…

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**  
CLIFFHANGER! Part two will be up soon! I just wanted to torment you people with a cliff hanger. (Smirk)


	28. The Many Uses of a Hyuga!

Crack by Crazys!

Name: The many uses of a Hyuga!  
Story rating: T

Notes: Alright, My computers broke at the moment so I don't really have an opportunity to write till it's fixed (at the moment I'm on someone else's computer) I know you people want random romance part 2 but I all ready started working on it on the other computer and I'm not in the mood to re-write what I have already! Anyways, here's a different story I will publish, I'll work on random romance as soon as the computer is fixed.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Hay you!

Yes you!

Are you lonely? Bored?

Do bullies bother you?

You want a friend?

Then from the company that brought you the Uchiha models Sasuke and Itachi we are proud to bring you…

THE HYUGA! The Hyuga comes in two models!

There's the Hyuga model Hinata. (POOF! Hinata appeared!)

You can use Hyuga model Hinata for many things.

You can use her to spy on your friends/enemies! (Someone is smiling smugly as Hinata peers at someone through a fence via Byakugan)

For you guys, you can have the hottest girl at prom! (A guy is looking at other jealous boys as Hinata stands there awkwardly.)

Or you can use her to annoy your family! (A person, annoyed, stands there as Hinata pokes them.)

But wait, there's a model for you too ladies! The Hyuga model Neji! (Second poof, Neji appears!)

You can use the Hyuga model Neji too:

Baby-sit your kids/siblings! (An annoyed Neji, stands as three hyper children run around him)

Lecture your friend and family on destiny and fate! (Neji, shouting says, "IT'S YOUR DESTINY!)

Or even as a virgin sacrifice! ("WHAT?!")

The Hyuga requires minimal care and can be stored easily!

"…" Neji glaring forward, annoyed at being unable to glare at the voice. Hinata next to him is confused.

IT GETS BETTER!

You can buy either of the Hyuga models for the low, low price of 4 payments of 39.99!

"I am so worth more than 160 bucks," Neji said annoyed as Hinata fainted randomly.

BUT WAIT!

Order in the next ten minutes and we will give you not only the Hyuga models Neji and Hinata but we throw in an Uchiha model Sasuke AT NO EXTRA COST!

(Poof!) As Sasuke appeared he looked around and said "Good god, not this again…"

Call us at are new number 1-8000-Ninjas!

Warning! The Hyuga may not be right for everyone. Side effects may include pain, closed chakra points, wounds, insomnia, attack by random fangirl (coughWolfcough), death, and other side effects may occur. The Hyuga does not protect against STDS or HIV. Call your doctor to see if the Hyuga is right for you!

ORDER NOW, ORDER NOW, ORDER NOW!!!


	29. Cats

Crack by Crazys!

Story Name: Cats  
Rating: K+?

Notes: Alrighty! So the computer medic guy came today and took the broken computer I write on, to wherever to fix it. He said it should be back in a few days! In the mean time I write more 'filler' chapters!

Other: This story is dedicated to my lil' imoto-chan Twi (Night's Second Moon) because she gave me the idea for this story in one of are oh-so-random conversations!

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

- - - At the Ramen Bar with Mika and MC - - -

"So then I got the power back on, and my buddy finally got the monkey back in its cage. Meanwhile the girl was scared and the ice was starting to melt…" MC said to Mika apparently in the middle of telling her some strange story.

"And then I was about to put the dog back on its leash when ---"

"Yo!" A loud voice said interrupting MC's tale. Both MC and Mika turned to see Wolf and Wane (holding a piece of strawberry pokey in her mouth) walking towards then. But something was different about them, both were wearing baggy, gray pants instead of there normal pants.

"Hello, what's up?" MC said smiling as the two demon girls sat down at the table were MC and Mika were.

"Guess what?" Wane said grinning.

"What?"

"Ich habe einen katze im meine hose!!" Wane answered laughing.

"What's that mean?" Mika asked confused.

"It means 'I have a cat in my pants' in German," Wolf answered.

"Do you have a cat in your pants?"

"Yep!" Wane laughed reaching a hand in her pant leg and pulling out one very confused, black cat.

"Wane! Cats do not belong in your pants!" Mika scolded.

"Unless you're into that sort of thing!" MC added with a perverted grin earning himself a slap on the head from Mika.

"So why are you two walking around with cats in your pants?" Mika asked as Wane put the confused cat back in her pants.

"Oh I don't have a cat in my pants…" Wolf said smiling.

"At least one person here is sane, "Mika began.

"I have a dog in my pants!"

"And I spoke to soon…"

Wolf then reached one hand in her pant leg like Wane had and pulled a small, confused, white dog out of her pants.

Suddenly the dog, smelling the cat in Wane's pants, jumped out of Wolf's hands and bit Wane in the leg causing her to yelp loudly and begin shaking her leg to get the dog off. The sudden shaking of Wane caused the cat in her pants to become upset, so it to bring its claws out hurting Wane. This caused her more pain and she started to shake and run around more.

The other three just started at Wane for a minute before the realized what was going on.

"Gah! Bad dog! Get off of Wane!" Wolf shouted grabbing the dog and attempting to pull it off of wane with little success. The two struggled for several more minutes before a sudden blast of water hit the two of them. This caused the dog to let go (and Wolf, having been pulling on the dog, to fall backwards) and the cat to jump out of a newly formed hole in Wanes pant leg and run away. Both of the girls, sitting of the ground, wet looked up to see Mika holding a hose, smiling.

"Couldn't you have like, just sprayed the dog instead of getting both of us wet too?" Wolf asked as she and Wane stood up.

"I could have… But I decided not to!"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
**Sorry if my German was off, I only took two years and wasn't the 'best' at German.


	30. Random Romance –Rewritten

Crack by Crazys!

Story Name: Random Romance –Rewritten-  
Story Rating: T!

Notes: Ugh, I realized I screwed up some junk in the first chapter of random romance I did. So instead of annoying trying to fix my screw up in the second chapter I decided to rewrite it. I also changed the pairings so message me if you want to know the original pairings. On the bright side my computer is fixed but and I don't think everything is totally right.

Other: I think this will also be split in two but I think you will figure out like half of the ''pairings'' this chapter. (Hint: there are 13 "pairings")  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Music seemed too almost flood the large area from multiply speakers placed around the area so that the music could be heard clearly no matter were you were standing. There was one area in the room, a large empty space, cleared for dancing. Behind it was an area with many tables with chairs, and a large table covered with foods and drinks of all sorts. This area was clearly set aside for relaxing or taking a brake from dancing.

Attending the party was…

Most of the Konoha 11 including Sasuke, Naruto, Shino, Ino, Lee, Neji, Shikamaru, Choji, Hinata, and Kiba.

Some of their friends, Mika, Wolf, Deity, MC, Emeki, Wane, Toffee, and Mayuki.

And a few 'extra' guests, Gaara, Kisame, Itachi, Tobi, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Sasori.

After the party started and the people mingled and began dancing no one noticed an extra person slip in the room from a back entrance. The extra person was wearing black shorts with sliver chains hanging off the sides, and white sneakers. Since he was not wearing a shirt you could tell he had a slight build Tattooed on his chest was a picture of a heart with an arrow going through it, on his back sprouted a pair of large, white, feathery angelic wings. He had clam yellow eyes, and a dimly glowing golden halo floating above his head. He also had a holster strapped around his chest which held a pink bow and golden arrows with heart shaped tips.

"Who are you?" A voice said. The extra person turned around to see none other then Emeki.

"Yo, my name's Tiber. I work for Cupid…"

"Were you invited?"

"No…" Tiber answered plainly. But instead of getting kicked out like Tiber excepted to happen, Emeki just shrugged and walked away. The reason he was here was Cupid had, had enough of Tiber's trouble making, and for the time being, had ordered to stay earth until he could figure out the proper job for the trouble-making love angel. He liked to go to large gatherings and use his love inducing arrows to create trouble (that was part of the whole reason he had gotten thrown out.)

"_Well this looks like a good spot to cause some madness. I know Cupid would not approve but I mean I'm not hurting anyone, the love arrows I use wear off in 24 hours so what's the harm in having a little fun with them? Hehehe…"_ Tiber thought as he pulled out his bow and loaded an arrow inside of it.

He loved using his arrows and he had used them so often he knew the all the affects of them. The caused you to fall in 'love' with the next person you saw, even if they were not of your sexual preference. They lasted 24 hours, and when you shot someone with the arrows they would get pink, heart shaped pupils until the effect wore off. They worked on everyone. Spotting a good target, Tiber fired the golden arrow. It seemed to glow as it soared through the air. When it hit the person it seemed to dissolve into the person.

"What hit me?"

The half-cat, half-dog demon girl said to no one in particular as she felt a tingling sensation on her back. She turned around and, because of the arrows affects, now had a strong 'love' for the person she saw, standing alone by the food table getting some punch. As her pupils turned into pink hears, she walked away from what she was doing and walked over to the food table.

"Hay Lee!"

Lee jumped slightly as he heard a voice from right behind him. Turning around, he was surprised to see Mika.

"Hello Mika! What brings you over here? Getting some punch?" Lee asked, being polite to the girl (knowing, that when she was mad whoever pissed her off would have hell to pay).

"No, I'm just here to see you!" Mika said and, because of the arrows affect, she began twirling some of Lee's hair.

"T-Too see me?" Lee asked surprised and confused. He knew Mika was not very 'fond' of him. He backed up slightly, as if trying to walk away from the confusion but was unable to go very far because of the table behind him.

"What's wrong? Come lets dance!" Mika said grabbing Lee's arm and pulling him towards the dance floor.

--Meanwhile--

Naruto, having returned from the bathroom to the spot were Mika and him had been dancing, was very confused because his date was now missing.

"Mika? Mika, where are you?" Naruto called out looking around to spot his date. But his search was interrupted when he felt a tingling sensation on the back of his neck. Suddenly he felt an attraction to the red-haired puppet of the Akatsuki. Forgetting about his 'missing date' (due to the arrow), Naruto quickly walked over to where Sasori was leaning against the wall, bored.

Sasori, looking over, was confused to see Naruto staring at him with a strange look in the young boy's eyes.

"What do you want kid?"

"Wanna dance hottie?!" Naruto shouted excitedly.

"What?!" Sasori said in a moment of confusion. Was this boy… hitting on him? Instead of responding to Naruto he simply knocked him down and walked away annoyed. Naruto, of course, got up and followed determined to dance with his temporary crush.

- -With Deidara- -

Deidara, was on the dance floor showing off his dance moves. Sure, he didn't have a date, and sure he wasn't really 'invited' but he was still having a good time. Just as he was showing off a dance move he felt a tingling felling on his behind and fell down on the floor. Sitting up, rubbing the back of his head which had hit the floor, he stood up and saw the black-haired Hyuga girl known as 'Hinata'. He walked off the dance floor, to the spot near the wall were the shy girl was standing awkwardly.

"Hay baby! Wanna dance with the D-Man?" Deidara said, in a pathetic attempt to flirt with Hinata.

Hinata, know with a blush on her face, poked her fingers together and said, "N-No thank y-y-you."

"Don't worry it'll be fun" Deidara said and, before Hinata could respond, grabbed her arm and walked the two of them to the dance floor. As the two walked out, another person walked them (and all the dancers) from a table. This person was, unbeknownst to her, the soon-to-be forth 'victim' of Tiber.

"What a bunch of weirdo's," Deity mumbled to herself, sitting at a table. She had come to the dance with Itachi, who was currently getting the pair some punch. She was going to wait for him to back when suddenly a certain, trouble-making angel shot her with a love arrow. Suddenly, someone ran in Deity's view, causing that man to be the object of Deity's affect for the next 24-hours. Standing up, Deity walked over to this person.

"Hay Tobi" Deity said grabbing Tobi by the back of his next of his robe and spun him around so the two were facing each other.

"Oh hello Deity!" Tobi said, squirming slightly to try and escape from the girl's grip. He was slightly unnerved by the grin on Deity's face.

"Sooo… Tobi you got a date?"

"Well, I don't but didn't you come here Itachi?"

"I did, but I decided I want to hangout with you," Deity said. She then dragged Tobi away by his robe.

"_Why is Deity dragging Tobi away?"_ Thought the soon-to-be-5th victim who was at the edge of the dance floor. The shape-shifter, in his favorite form of a panther demon with two tails, looked on at the crowd. When suddenly he noticed something zooming through the air.

"_What's that_?" He thought. But before he had time to react/think about it a glowing love arrow hit his forehead and caused him to fall for the blond-headed, ninja girl that he saw next. He quickly moved next to her and said "Hay Ino! What's a pretty girl like you like you doing her alone?"

Ino, not having noticed MC, jumped slightly but then smiled. She had not been able to get a date to the dance.

"Wanna dance?" MC said.

"Sure!"

"Hehehe, Looks like Ino got a date," Mayuki said to herself as she shall MC and Ino together. Though, because she was laughing, she failed to notice Tiber behind her who quickly shot her with a love arrow to the back of her head.

"What was that?" Mayuki though rubbing the back of her head. Though her thoughts were changed, quickly focusing on the man she shall sitting annoyed, alone at a table. This man was, the 90-year old, zombie of the akatsuki, Kakuzu. She quickly giggled and walked over to where he was sitting.

"Hay hot-zombie-man," Mayuki said, sitting down across the table from Kakuzu. Of course, he had been counting some money he and now looked up, confused.

"What?"

"Want to have some dinner with me Kakuzu?"

"No… Go away you brat!"

"I'll pay you!" Mayuki said, smiling and pulling out some money.

"… Alright…"

- - - Meanwhile- - -

"Wear did that cheap ass bastard go?!" Hidan swore as he looked around for Kakuzu. He was bored and wanted to entertain himself by bugging his teammate. Because he was looking for Kakuzu he failed to notice the arrow that had been fired at him (which hit him in his groin, causing an awkward tingling feeling.) Looking around, the next person he saw was…

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
**Chapter one ends! The rest of the "pairings" should be in chapter two! And just to refresh your memory the "pairings" he have seen so far are:

-Mika and Lee-

-Naruto and Sasori-

-Deidara and Hinata-

-Deity and Tobi-

-MC and Ino-

-Mayuki and Kakuzu-

-Hidan and ????-


	31. Random RomanceRewritten 2

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: Random Romance-Rewritten 2  
Story rating: T

Notes: Don't kill me!!!!!!!! A Who Will Win? Will be next chapter so remember to vote in the poll! I personally, don't think this chapter is good but just be happy I updated at all!  
Here are the pairings that already happened if you have forgotten:  
-Mika and Lee-

-Naruto and Sasori-

-Deidara and Hinata-

-Deity and Tobi-

-MC and Ino-

-Mayuki and Kakuzu-  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Last time:**_ "Wear did that cheap ass bastard go?!" Hidan swore as he looked around for Kakuzu. He was bored and wanted to entertain himself by bugging his teammate. Because he was looking for Kakuzu he failed to notice the arrow that had been fired at him (which hit him in his groin, causing an awkward tingling feeling.) Looking around, the next person he saw was…_

The wolf demon known as 'Wolf'. He quickly made his way other to where Wolf sat alone, waiting for her date to return from the restroom.

"Huh? Oh, Hello Hidan. What brings you here?" Wolf asked slightly confused to see the Akatsuki member visiting her.

"You're my date know, get used to it," Hidan said dragging Wolf away before she could protest.

"Why is that guy pulling my Wolf away?" Neji thought angrily as he returned to see Hidan dragging Wolf into the dance floor. As we talked towards the two though he tripped and then felt a strange tingling feeling… He opened his eyes and saw the Uchiha clan survivor standing there.

"Klutz…" Sasuke said as Neji stood himself up. Sasuke expected Neji to say some stupid comment back but instead he found the Hyuga was staring at him (which made him feel uncomfortable).

"What?"

"Sasuke! You must go out with me! It is destiny," Neji said staring at Sasuke.

"What?! No way…" Sasuke said walking away with Neji following him, annoying him.

"Who is that boy stalking Sasuke?" Itachi thought staring. In fact, he had noticed many people had been acting strange. He had been sitting at a table watching everyone since he had lost track of where his date, Deity had gone. Suddenly he noticed an angel boy pointing an arrow at him, but it moved much fast then most arrows and hit him right in the forehead which caused tingling. His next thought was then on the red-headed boy from the sand village who he felt a sudden attraction for.

"You, go out with me now…" Itachi said looking at Gaara. Gaara, confused simply used his sand to lift Itachi up in a binding of sand. Unfortunately Gaara, he had looked directly into Itachi eyes and had been sent into Itachi's Tsukuyomi world were Itachi decided he could be a bit more, persuasive.

-In the middle of the dance floor-

Wane was in the middle of the dance floor showing off her moves. Too bad her moves were not very good and she ended up falling multiply times. Whilst in the middle of dancing she failed to notice someone watching her.

"Ummm… excuse me Wane…" A voice came from behind. She turned and shall the bug-boy Shino Aburame standing there.

She looked at him confused for a minute, before saying, "Hello!" She wasn't use to seeing she stutter or really trying to converse with her at all. What she couldn't see (because of Shino's glasses) where that his eyes now were pink and the irises/pupils was now heart shaped from the affect of a certain angel's arrows…

"I was wondering… if you wanted to dance… or get some food or something with me," Shino said blushing. Wane on the other hand was shocked. She looked confused, she thought about saying yes because Shino was being so polite but she liked Gaara (but then again she had seen Itachi and Gaara walking away together…)

"Umm... Sure! Want to see my cat?" Wane said pulling a small black cat out of her pants, (getting a slightly confused look from the love sick ninja.) All was good for a minute before...

**WOOF! BARK, BARK!**

Akamaru ran right towards Wane, barking at the small black cat. The cat jumped from Wane's arm and began to hiss. The two proceeded to cause much trouble, running around with much barking and hissing.

"Akamaru! Akamaru get back here! You know better!" Kiba said attempting to catch Akamaru.

Then a few different things happened at once… Kiba got hit with one of Tiber's arrows. And while running, to try to Akamaru, he ran right into a girl who had been carrying a glass of punch. Besides the two collided the punch fell out of her hands and on the floor. Kiba then tripped on punch and fell, knocking the girl down as well.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" The girl, Toffee, said as she sat herself up. Kiba sat up and was going to yell back but when he saw Toffee his thoughts changed.

"I'm so, so sorry! It was my entire fault; do you want me to get you some new punch?" Kiba asked.

"Yes! And go control that stupid mutt of yours while you're at it…"

"Yes ma'am! Anything for you!"

"Itachi? Itachi, where are you?" Asked the fish-man Kisame. He had followed Itachi to this dance (not having been invited himself) but could not find his murderous teammate anywhere. Kisame, being the idiot he was, failed to notice an angel boy behind him jam an arrow in his backside. Before he knew what was going on he found himself staring at you ninja, Emeki. He quickly walked over to Emeki and stood by her for a minute before Emeki said,

"What do you want fish stick?!"

"Nothing, it's just you look so pretty tonight!"

"Ewww, get away from me you pedophile!"

"Awwww, come on…"

"DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU!"

And last but not least, Tiber shot the last two people in the dance who were not already affected. Shikamaru and Choji who left skipping, hand in hand. And the all lived happily ever after. The end, well at least until 24 hours later were the realized what happened, freaked out, formed a mob and murdered Tiber in a very painful manner involving; a fork, several feet of rope, duck tape, toothpaste and one very angry crab  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
**Yeah! There you have it.  
As a reminded the pairings were:

-Mika and Lee-  
-Naruto and Sasori-  
-Deidara and Hinata-  
-Deity and Tobi-  
-MC and Ino-  
-Mayuki and Kakuzu-  
-Hidan and Wolf-  
-Neji and Sasuke-  
-Itachi and Gaara-  
-Wane and Shino-  
-Toffee and Kiba-  
-Kisame and Emeki-  
-Shikamaru and Choji-


	32. One Timers

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: One Timers  
Story Rating: -Classified-

Note: The notes are a lie…  
(5 points if you get the reference)  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Light filled a largely plain looking okay sized room. The carpet and walls/ceiling were all black in color, no windows; the only light was coming from a few lights on the ceiling. In the center of them room sat 5 chairs, with 5 people on them, who all had something in common. All 5 chairs sat facing the same direction with one larger, chair across from them, with a strange new person on them.

In the five smaller chairs sat: Konan, Kankuro, Kabuto, Karin, and Anko.

On the larger chair sat a new face. A large figure, standing at least 6 foot 1 inch in height. He wore a normal, set of large jounin robes which had metal plates on them to act as armor (they were larger as he was not a small person in any way); he had two large twin-blades strapped to his back along with a kunai pouch on his left side. His ninja headband, black with the leaf village symbol, was tied around his head.

"Who the hell are you?" Kankuro asked the man.

"I'm Echo, the older brother of Wolf and Deity," Echo stated standing up, " Anyways I called you here, well I was forced to call you here, because Wolf learned something interesting about you," Echo said pulling a white piece of paper of out his pocket.

"Well what did she learn?" Anko asked, as she was getting bored.

"See, she went through all the chapters and compiled a list of who appears, how many times. You five have the honor of being so bad; you have only appeared once out of all 31 chapters so far…"

"What?! But why, I am hot after all," Kankuro said smirking.

"Oh please, the cat in Wane's pants appears more then you…"

"…"

"Soooo, what now?" Konan asked.

"Can we leave idiotic brute?" Kabuto said insulting Echo.

**SLASHSLASHHACKHACKSLASH**

The two twin blades swung through the air and chopped Kabuto. There were charged with Echo's lighting chakra with shocked the target as they chopped the person's body. Kabuto fell to the ground, twitched from the lighting slightly, and died.**  
**(Staining the carpet with blood…)

"Wasn't that a little extreme for just insulting you?" Anko questioned.

"Your point is…?"**  
**  
"Never mind…"

"So you get a special 'surprise' for only appearing once," Echo said smirking. The remaining 4 looked confused when suddenly Echo pulled a rope and disappeared. The four looked confused, not noticing a large pair of glowing red eyes.

"WHAT THE HECK?!" Karin said as she noticed the large eyes belonged to the Kyuubi! That's these people have the honor, of being the Kyuubi's first victim! SPLAT! Blood flew everywhere as the Kyuubi easily killed the four ninja and laughed loudly. Before being poofed back into Naruto.

"Nice job onii-san!" Wolf said walking into the room followed but Echo and Deity.

"Yeah… Good work…" Deity said plainly.

"Thank you! I'm just that awesome…" Echo said laughing as the three siblings left to get lunch…

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Yeah! The debut of my RL onii-san (who shall go by Echo)! anyways, the list mentioned by Echo does really exist; I have it saved on my computer. Next chapter will be about the five most used characters in Crack by Crazys and then a "who will win?" chapter.


	33. Multiple

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: Multiple  
Story rating: Yellow

Notes: Woot! Now you can figure out who appears most out of the chapters! Message me if you want a full list of how often different characters appear.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The same room that the five one-timers had appeared in was filled with darkness. It had the same five chairs that sat facing one direction and the one larger one facing the five chairs. But this time when the lights came on only one came on and gave enough light to revel Echo sitting in the large chair. The other five were still shrouded in darkness so that only a rough outline could be seen.

"Welcome on and all! I am back to reveal the five most used characters in Crack by Crazys and so on…" Echo said pulling a small, white piece of paper out his pocket.

"Now let's begin the count down!" Echo said standing up.

"Will you hurry up?!" The figure in the third chair from the left said in an inpatient manner.

"Just hold on, I'm getting started now…"

"In spot **five**, appearing in 11 chapters out of 33 (including this chapter) is none other than the demon girl, my little sister Wolf!" Echo announced clapping slightly. Suddenly, a spot-light type light shined on the fifth chair from the left revealing Wolf to be sitting in the seat all the way to the left.

"Woo for me!" Wolf said smiling.

"Yes! Yeah for you…"

"Hurry up!" The person all the way on the right said.

"Just be patient, unless you want to end up like Kabuto did last time…"

"Sorry sir…"

"Anyways!" Echo said looking at the next name on the list and glancing at the figure in the second seat on the left.

"In** fourth** place, appearing in 12 chapters out of 33 is none other than the perverted, shape shifter MC!" Echo announced as a light shined on the second chair to the left reveling MC, in his favorite panther form, sitting on the chair. A slight applause came from Wolf and the three yet to be reveled people.

"Alright, my turn!" The figure in the third seat from the left, the next one to be reveled said smiling.

"Maybe I'll wait to tomorrow to reveal the next person…" Echo said, taunting the unknown figure.

"You better hurry up now damnit!" The figure said, angry.

"Fine, fine… The person in **Third**, appearing in 15 out of 33 chapters is the half-cat, half-dog demon Mika!" Suddenly a light light-up showing Mika to be in the third seat.

"Woo! Go Imoto-chan!" MC said smiling, as the others clapped.

"Go me! Third place!"

"Yes! But who are the two that beat you out? Hmmm… I wonder…" Echo said holding up the list.

"GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!" The three people sitting in the chairs that had already been light up said.

"Fine, you people are no fun," Echo grumbled, "In **second** place, appearing in 17 out of 33 chapters, is none other than emo-duck Sasuke!"

Light filled up the seat Sasuke was sitting on, with showed the emo ninja sitting on the chair, bored and looking annoyed.

"And now were down to the last person! The one person who appears in more chapters of Crack by Crazys than other character, the person in the **first** chair… NARUTO UZUMAKI!"

The rest of the lights flipped on, the room light up (revealing there also to be snacks, tables and a party-like environment in the room.) The other four clapped for Naruto as he smiled and looked happy and proud. Mika got up and hugged him as the others cheered.

"And now as a reward for appearing the most! Snacks and music!" Wolf said smiling. Soon music started playing and the six got up and began the small party…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
: D! R&R!


	34. Who will win! Zabuza vs Pikachu

Crack by Crazys!

Story Name: Who will win?! Zabuza vs. Pikachu  
Story Rating: What's it to you punk?! HUH?!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. At all. Really.

Notes: So here's the next Who Will win?! (Don't forget to vote in the poll I'll post after I post this chapter, even though I never seen to pick anything from the poll)

Sorry I have not updated anything in a while, I just can't get myself to sit down and write. I get writer's block and right now I'm not that into anime (right now I'm into older horror movies like Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street, my favorite movie.)

** X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X.**

In the Colosseum type arena, on the big circle rock that floated in the middle above were the people fought was the host of Who Will win, Mika and her co-host MC.

"Welcome to who will win! I'm Mika and that's my onii-chan/co-host MC!" Mika shouted into the microphone. Both waved as if there were people watching then (in reality the coliseum-type-arena was empty) before introducing the characters.

"And are other fighter is from the popular game and Anime Pokémon! Pokémon is a popular fandom that started as a game. In the game you are a Pokémon trainer and your goal is to catch and train animal-like beasts called Pokémon to beat gym leaders and become a Pokémon master. In the anime, they focus on a Pokémon trainer named Ash Ketchum who's main and by far most powerful Pokémon is a small electric mouse Pokémon called Pikachu. SO LET'S BRING OUT ASH'S PIKACHU!" Mika shouted.

"Today's fighter from Naruto is none other than the 'demon of the mist' himself! That's right, it's Zabuza!!" On one end of the field a wooden door appeared and out walked Zabuza with his large sword in hand.

A door appeared on the wall opposite of Zabuza and Pikachu ran out. Pikachu is a small (being only 1'04" foot high and weighing 13 pounds) rodent-like Pokémon, covered almost completely by yellow fur. It has long yellow ears that are tipped with black. Pikachu's back has two brown stripes, and its large tail is notable for being shaped like a lightning bolt. On its cheeks are two circle-shaped red sacs used for storing electricity, which turn yellow when it's about to use an electric attack.

"You sent me here to fight an over grown rat?!" Zabuza shouted with an angry tone. Pikachu just made the noise a Pikachu (basically saying parts of its name).

"Just fight!" Mika shouted from atop the floating rock.

"This will be easy" Zabuza said. He charged quickly with his large sword and swung it at Pikachu attempting to cut the Pokémon in half. But Pikachu countered, using quick attack to speed up and dodge the blade. This happened several times as Zabuza kept swinging and Pikachu kept dodging.

"Sit still you stupid like mouse!" Zabuza shouted sounding infuriated. He attempted to kill Pikachu with his sword several more times but only managed to cut Pikachu's tail slightly.

"Pika-Pika!" Pikachu cried out, as blood dripped down its tail. It than shout several bolts of lightning at Zabuza using thunderbolt. One managed to hit, knocking the mist ninja down.

"I will not lose to some stupid animal! Hidden mist Technique!" As that was said, Zabuza created a large, thick mist around the field. Pikachu released several cries as he attempted to look around with little success because of the mist. Just as Zabuza got over to Pikachu and was about to slice the annoying rodent in half, Pikachu got an idea and used thunder. The thunder spread all over the field because of the mist and shocked everyone.

"Pretty colors" Mika mumbled from atop the rock. The field below had a nice misty blue and large, lightning bolts shooting everywhere, stronger than normal because of the water in the air. Both the hosts knew that since the mist was fading that either Zabuza had been knocked out by the lighting or he had managed to slice Pikachu to pieces.

"And the winner is…. Deity! Wait, WHAT?!" The host and co-host cried out confused. On the field, which was now visible as the mist had faded, Deity stood with her new shiny elbow blades dripping blood. Pikachu and Zabuza both laid defeated and bleeding on the floor of the field…

**X. X. X. X. X.**

Okay so let me tell you that the inspiration for the end of this chapter game from a online map of the game "Warcraft 3 the frozen throne (different then WoW)." The map was called 'Angel Arena' and the point of it was to pick heroes and fight the other team. Every once in a while to people from each team would fight a duel in an arena in the center of the map, and everyone watched (was forced to watch). One time Echo and another gamer were dueling and when the match ended it glitched and said Deity-donno (who was not in the match at all) had won.


	35. The Game

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: The Game  
Story Rating: I would tell you but then I'd have to kill you…

Notes: Happy -late- holidays to all! Also, this is the 35th chapter of Crack by Crazys! If I post just 6 more chapters than this story will have more chapters than anything I have ever posted on (the title that currently belongs to Ask the Mew Mews 1 which had 40 chapters before it was removed by the admin…)

**X. X. X. X. X. X.**

Today was a seemingly average day for are friends in the leaf village (at least as average as things get in the leaf village). The rookie 9 were hanging out at the ramen bar enjoying some, you guessed it, ramen. Everything was peaceful until Wane entered the area, with a stupid grin on her face and a piece of pocky in her mouth.

"Attention everyone!" Wane said loudly, standing in the middle of the ramen bar. She waited for everyone to look at her and then continued. When everyone was looking at her and was quite she spoke.

"I, Wane, have lost The Game!" She stated followed by giggles her from her and several others in the area.

"Oh god, not this stupid game," Shikamaru said with a face-palm.

"Wait? I'm confused? What game did you lose?" Naruto said in a confused tone.

"The Game!"

"What game?!"

"_THE_ Game!"

"WHAT GAME?!"

"THE GAME!"

"WHAT GAME?!?!" Naruto said even more confused than before. Sakura had a 'your-an-idiot' look on her face as she looked at Naruto and Wane.

"Naruto… It's a game called 'The Game'…" Sakura explained.

"Oh! Well, how do you play?"

"Let me explain," Wane started, "Here's how you play. You start playing The Game as soon as you learn the rules of The Game. Everyone who knows about The Game is always playing The Game. The Game never ends. You lose The Game by thinking about The Game. When you think of The Game you must tell everyone around you who knows of The Game that you lost The Game. After someone loses The Game there is around 30 minutes before the next round starts. Understand?"

"Yeah I think so," Naruto said taking a minute to think about it.

"Good!" Wane said with a smile before walking off to do whatever it is insane people like Wane do in their free time. (_Maybe feeding the cat that she keeps in her pants?)_

**X. X. X. X. X.  
**  
You all are now playing The Game. I have lost The Game.


	36. Conversing With the Insane

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: Conversing With the Insane  
Story Rating: Code X99, Code X99 THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPET CODE X99 THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Notes: R&R, Flames will be used to burn your feet off. I would like to dedicate this chapter to my FF Lil' Sister Twi (This Little Lily) (Creator of Wane), as the conversations I have with her are very, very… strange… LUFFS YOU IMOTO-CHAN!**  
X. X. X. X. X. X.**

There are places you want insane people (like a mental ward) and there are places where you don't want insane people (like a firing range). This was one of those places where you don't want insane people. This was a room with sharp, point things like tools used in construction (like saws and power tools) and just other sharp things (like swords and spears). And the items were not locked up either; they were just hanging on hooks on the wall or sitting on a table or in an unlocked cabinet.

The two insane people in the room at this moment were: Wolf, who was sitting on a table, her black wolf ears twitching, and Wane, the demon mutt who was carrying a piece of pocket as she always was (green tea flavored). Wane was standing on the floor next to the table were Wolf was sitting. The two were acting more crazy then normal (some hard to do for them) as they had just gotten hyped up by drinking soda and eating sugary food items.

"So, Wane I heard you lost the game," Wolf said grinning.

"Yes, yes I did! AND I LIKE PIES!"

"PIE?! PIE?!" Wolf shouted grabbing the front of Wane's shirt and shaking her lightly. "I like chocolate better."

"Well I love cookies!" Wane said crossing her arms.

"COOKIES?! You rebel! Prepare to be vaporized!" Wolf shouted pulling a ray gun out of thin-air and jumping off the table onto the floor next to Wane.

"I REFUSE! YOU WILL BE HAXZ0RS!"

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!"

"It means I will hack your weapon!" Wane said as she picked up a sword and sliced the ray gun in half.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Wolf shouted, falling on the ground to her knees, shaking her fists in the air. She then stood up and grinned "I'm going to rip you open, pull out your intestines and feed them to you!"

"What?" Wane said motioning to the full body armor she was wearing.

"Huh…" Wolf stated looking at the armor. "Why didn't I notice that early?" She then poked the armor and her eyes widened as it turn to dust when touched (reveling Wane was wearing her normal black dress underneath). The two just stared at each other for a minute in silence before Wolf reached out and ripped Wane's eyes out the sockets.

Though Wane did not scream or even seem to care about her missing eyes or the blood that was now dripping down her face out of her empty eye sockets.

"Umm… Do you want these back?" Wolf asked awkwardly.

"Yes please!"

With that said, Wolf placed the eyes back in Wane's eye sockets.

Wane grinned before shouting, "I CAN SEE AGAIN!" Suddenly the eyes fell back out of the sockets.

"Oops…Hold on!" Wolf said. She then grabbed a stable gun off a nearby hook and stabled Wane's eyes back in her head to make sure they would stay in. "There! Now they will stay put!" The wolf demon said, smiling and looking proud.

"Th-Thank you."

"No problem little sister!" She then jumped and hugged her sister when she noticed a big, red button with the words 'DON'T YOU DARE PRESS THIS BUTTON' written above it in big, black, bold letters.

"OOH SHINY! Want to press the button?" Wolf asked her friend.

Sighing, Wane reached out and pressed the button which made 100 dancing cats appear (of all different colors) appear in a nice line as the proceeded to dance out of the room. The two demons watched the cats for a few minutes before Wane looked up at Wolf and said "Watashi wa aoi sakana no subete imasu."

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!" Wolf shouted in an overly dramatic manner.

"Something along the lines of 'I'm eating blue fish."

"Interesting! Ich habe acht hunde tanzen im meinem Rucksack!"

"Good luck with the dancing dogs…" Wane replied with an amused smirk.

"By the way… Did you know that this room was about to explode?" Wolf asked with a slight head tilt.

"Yeah, I know!" Wane replied.

**BOOM**

The room the two were in then exploded in a large, fantastic, Michael-bay-ish explosion.

**x. x. x. x. x.**

This is based a conversation i had with Wane early.

Ich habe acht hunde tenzan im meinem Rucksack is german for something along the lines "I have eight dogs dancing in my backpack."


	37. Anguish From the Insane

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: Anguish From the Insane  
Story Rating: 6-3(8x4)-166/9(88-Z), Solve for Z!

Notes: This Chapter was inspired by the comment Mika (aka I Am Satan Hear me roar -Mew-) left last chapter! This is a kinda-ish sequel to last chapter… Happy New Years!

Oh! And my older sister The Black Deity, known to most of you as 'Deity' would like to give a shout out to all of you! She says "Hello!"  
**X. X. X. X. X. X.**

Once again, are two insane demons Wane and Wolf were being well strange. The two were standing in what remained of the building that had just exploded with them in it (though apparently knew that was going to happen). Nothing was left but somewhat of a wooden frame of the building and many sharp tools that had been scattered across the ground when the building exploded for what seemed like no good reason.

The two on the other hand seemed happy still, Wolf's tail was wagging and Wane was smiling, her green tea flavored pocky still in her mouth.

"Hahaha! That was fun!" Wolf said laughing.

"It was! LOOK OUT!" Wane shouted suddenly tackling Wolf to the ground in time to avoid a brick that flew through the air.

"Where did _that_ come from?!" Wolf asked confused as the two girls stood back up.

"I have no idea!" Wane exclaimed in a happy tone. She then looked at Wolf and noticed a large hacksaw had become caught in Wolf's arm when she had been pushed to the ground. "There's a saw in your arm!"

Wolf looked at her arm and stared at the hacksaw for a minute before say, "Huh…There is!"

"Let me get that!" Wane shouted reaching out and ripping the hacksaw (along with a few pieces of flesh stuck on said saw) out of Wolf's left arm, right below the shoulder area.

"Thanks!" Wolf replied as blood began to drip out of the spot of missing flesh. The two were too busy chatting that they failed to notice a third person approach them.

"What are you two doing?! Wolf, why is your arm bleeding and missing a chunk? And Wane, why are there staples in your eyes?" This third voice asked confused. The two turned around and saw their half-cat, half-dog demon friend Mika.

"Oh hay Mika! We were just hanging out!" Wolf explained.

"What part of hanging out involves the missing flesh or the stapled eyes?"

"This part!" Wane said as she reached out and shoved the hacksaw that she had pulled out of Wolf's arm into Mika's arm. Mika, like most people who weren't as 'special' as Wolf and Wane, yelped before yanking it out of her armor and using it to hit Wane over the head.

"That's it. I'm going to call the nice people in the white coats to take you to a soft padded room!"

"Woohoo! ROAD TRIP!" Wane shouted sounding very excited.

"Sounds like fun, I can't wait to see the people with the white coats again!" Wolf said smiling.

-**Sometime in the nearby future-**

Still near the rubble of the destroyed building, a large van had arrived. Mika was standing with the insane girls as two men in blue outfits with white jackets on came out of the van.

"Hiya Bill!" Wolf shouted as she shall one of the men, a large older white man, come out of the truck.

The two men came over, as one held two bags out to the girls.

"We need you to change into these," The man, who was white with a full head of blond hair, looking slightly younger than his partner, handed a bag to each of them.

"Okay!" Wane said as her and Wolf each took a bag before heading to a girl's room to change.

A few minutes later the girls returned having changed into new outfits. They were in simple, plain, all white outfits (though Wane still held her pocky in her mouth and there was a small hole in the back of Wolf's outfit for her tail to come out of). On the back of Wanes it read: _Mental Patient number 1072_, while on the back of Wolf's it said: _Mental Patient number 1073_! Wolf also know had some medical wrap, bandage stuff wrapped around the wound on her arm.

"Ha! My number comes before yours this time!" Wane said with a smirk.

"Curses!" Wolf yelled.

"All right we need you to get in the back of the van," One of the men, Bill, said to the two girls.

"And we need you to get rid of that," The other said pointing at Wane's pocky.

"Okay," Wane said eating the pocky stick, "But does that mean I need to get rid of this?" She then reached down her pants and pulled out her small, all-black confused cat.

"Yes…That would be helpful," The younger of the two men said while looking confused, "Does she always carry a cat in her pants?"

"Yes," Mika responded.

"All right, and we need you two to put these on," Bill said as he got two straight jackets out from the front of the van.

"Yeah the jackets!" Wane cheered as the men put the straight jackets on her and Wolf. Soon the two had the jackets on and were being put in the back of the van.

"Time to get in the van," The younger of the men stated.

"So long as it's not a rape van, I'm okay with that," Wolf said with a smile as Wane and her were put in the back of the van. The back of the van was padded and was blocked off from the front; the only thing connecting the two was a small bared window in the middle of the wall that separated the front from the back. Wolf and Wane sat down on two (padded) seats on the wall in the back as the two men got in the front.

"Have fun you too!" Mika called out as the van (a white van with the words "Konoha Mental Asylum" printed on the side).

-**In the van-**

"Were going to take a nice drive to the asylum, when we get there where going to give you guys some medicine and put you in a nice, soft room to calm down for a while okay?" The younger of the two said, looking at the girls through the small window in the wall separating the front and back.

"What's your name?" Wane asked, as though she had ignored everything he has just said.

"My names unnamed…"

"Your parents never named you?"

"No, my name _is _unnamed. My parents were… special."

"Ahh!" Wane said laughing.

"Hey? Where did you get that? Didn't we tell you to get rid of it?" Unnamed said as he saw Wane had a new stick of pocky in her mouth.

"I did, this is a new piece."

"Put you're in a straight jacket! HOW COULD YOU GET A NEW PIECE?!"

"Magic!!!"

"Dude, focus on the road!" Bill scolded from the passenger seat.

"Right, whatever," Unnamed said as he turned his focus back towards driving. Everything calmed down and quite for a few minutes until.

"I HAVE BEEN CHOOSEN- BY THE BIG METAL HAND IN THE SKY!" Wolf shouted at the top of her lungs, making both Unnamed and Bill jump (but not Wane). Unnamed was so startled that he lost his grip on the wheel for a minute and the car almost hit a tree but he managed to avoid it.

"DON'T DO THAT!" Unnamed yelled from the front.

"Are you trying to get us killed?!" Bill said, angrily. Wolf and Wane remained quiet and again, after a few minutes in was quite and calm before. And like before someone decided to break the quiet.

"GOD CHOSE ME… TO EAT PICKLES!" Wane shouted, like Wolf had early, at the top of her lungs. And again, both the men in the front jumped. Unnamed, having been on edge, jumped so much that he accidently swerved the car and ran through a fence into a field.

"What the hell was that about?!" Unnamed screamed.

"Gosh dude, there's no need to yell," Wane said in a peaceful tone.

"Yeah man, just chill," Wolf scolded, her tail wagging slowly.

"THAT'S IT! I'm tired of dealing with people like you! I QUIT!" Unnamed yelled, before he got out of the car and stomped off head who-knows were.

"Great… Now I have to drive you to lunatics…" Bill complained as he got in the driver's seat and became driving the van. After another few minutes of Bill driving a hand suddenly shout out from the back out the van, reaching through the holes in between the bars on the window (the gap was just large enough for someone small to stick their arms through). Said hand began choking bill, then reaching for the wheel and ended up crashing the car into a tree. After the car crashed Bill, angry and cursing looked in the back of the van and saw Wolf and Wane, still in there metal outfits but the straight jackets had been clawed off.

"How did you two get out?!" Bill asked.

"Oh, the jackets were itchy so I clawed us out," Wolf explained showing her sharp, wolf claws on her hand to Bill.

"Ughhhh… I think I agree with Unnamed on this matter. I QUIT! I'll leave it to someone else to deal with lunatics…" Bill shouted as he walked away, muttering angry things to himself.

"Wanna go get lunch?" Wolf asked simply, not in a manner you would expect someone who just got a car-crashed would ask.

"Sure!" Wane said happily. The two insane demons then walked away, looking for a place to eat. Not even bothering to change out of the outfits which had "_Mental Patient" _printed on the back.


	38. NejNej is my Boo

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: Nej-Nej is my boo  
Story Rating: 3.. . .

Notes: Nej-Nej = Neji Hyuga

After this I will finish what I have labeled the "Insane OC arc" (stories all ending with 'the Insane' and beginning with something (normally a verb or adjective, like the last two chapters) Each part features 2 OCs doing something random/whatever I have them do, each pair of OCs gets two chapters most likely with some break chapter, like this one, in between when one pair finished and a new one starts)  
**X. X. X. X. X. X.**

The day did not seem different from any other day in the leaf village; people were going about normal business, like training or hanging out. In one case, Wolf and her date, Neji (affectionately called Nej-Nej by her), were going to the ramen bar to enjoy a nice meal together. The two had not had much time to spend together recently so when they both had some free time on the same day, the two decided to go out.

The two of them arrived at the Ichiraku ramen bar and were greeted by Teuchi who quickly took their orders and started to prepare their meals. So while they waited the two young ninjas were talking.

"So Wolf, how's training been going?" Neji asked.

"Umm… Good. How's training been for you?" Wolf replied.

"Okay, but its annoying having to train with two idiots like Gai-sensei and Lee every day."

"You poor soul," Wolf said sarcastically with a slight laugh.

"So have you heard about two mental patients who were on their way to a psyche ward or a mental hospital or something when they crashed the truck and got the two drivers to quit their jobs? They say the two nut-cases are still on the loose."

"Ummm… No, I hadn't heard of that," Wolf said, and at the same time kicked her bag more underneath there table (the bag which contained her 'mental patient' clothing in it).

"I hope the two are caught soon."

"Sure…"

Teuchi then dropped their ramen and drinks off at the table and went away to cook ramen for other customers who were arriving. The two began eating their food, but instead of being a happy talkative time like one might think it was an awkward silence as the two sat there.

"It's nice to get to spend some time with you Wolf," Neji said, breaking the silence, he looked happy and was eating his ramen.

"Umm…" Wolf responded. She looked uneasy and was just 'playing' with her ramen, picking it up with the chopsticks and dropping it or just swirling it around with her chopsticks.

"Is something wrong Wolf?" Neji asked, concerned. He was hoping that the problem was only that she was just having a bad day or wasn't feeling well. He didn't want anything worse to be happening.

"Yes. There is something wrong Neji," Wolf said standing, looking uneasy.

"What's wrong? You can tell me," Neji stated, also standing up.

"The problem is… I want to break up with you… There's someone else I like"

"WHAT?!" Neji was shocked; he thought their relationship was going good. And he couldn't think of another guy who Wolf seemed to like. There wasn't anyone he saw Wolf look at or talk to like she liked the person then more as just a friend.

"See… the thing is that I don't really like you. I just went with you that one time (1) just so I could use the line 'Nej-Nej is my boo'. But then people started to put us together and well I just kind of went along with it. I'm a fangirl of someone else," Wolf said, turning away as to not see Neji's face.

"Fine then… If that's the way you want it…" Neji said his voice now cold. The then walked away (not even bothering to pay for his meal).

But Wolf was not upset or crying like some others might have been at that moment. She didn't like Neji; she wasn't and never was his fangirl so she now considered herself free of something she didn't like. She was free to enjoy liking the person she currently did, without the idea of being a Neji fangirl in her way.

**X. X. X. X. X.  
**Hehehe… Wolf dumped Neji… I know what you're thinking, "Who is there person you really are a fangirl of?" Well I'm not going to tell you, not yet. I think I'll save that fact for another chapter perhaps. Or another story maybe or I'll just keep a secret. I don't know.

(1) The first time Wolf was paired with Neji was in Ask the Mew Mew's 2, chapter 10, and I did in fact, use that line. ("Nej-Nej is my boo")


	39. Astray with the Insane

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: Astray with the Insane  
Story Rating: The story rating will be listed on page 31, of 'Crack by Crazys' magazine (issue 19).  
Disclaimer: I don't own Jeeps, the Naruto series, or the OCs.

Notes: It's snowing were I am right now. A lot, I think there's like at least a foot on the ground right now and it's still coming down pretty hard. So, I'm going to write from lack of better things to do.

This is the next part of the 'Insane OC arc'. This, and the next chapter, will feature the same pair of OCs. Then there will be a Who-Will-Win chapter then two more chapters with a new OC pairing and so on till I've used the major OCs up, then the story will go back to just random chapters.  
**X. X. X. X. X. X.**

There are a lot of people in Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, who enjoy hanging out with each other most of the time. People on similar ninja teams liked to train together and friends also hung out together. People were hanging out together right now, in fact. Two of the people who were hanging out right now were Mika and MC.

They hand just watched Mika ship Wolf and Wane off to a mental institute and were driving down a road, this road was on the outskirts of the Leaf Village, away from most of the town. There were trees and forest on both sides of roads, the kind of forest that you could get lost in if you when too far into them…

The car, a yellow Jeep Wrangler, was being driven by Mika, with MC as a passenger. Mika was having fun driving the car quickly down the mostly empty road while MC was fearing for his life, with his seat buckle tight and a helmet on. He had made Mika also put on a safety helmet (both were black in color.)

"Don't you want to slow down, Mika?" MC asked as he noticed they were going quite fast.

"Nah, were fine!" Mika said with a laugh.

"Do you even know how to drive?"

"I'll learn as a go!"

And they were going fine. Until a speeding car (a white van with the words Konoha Mental Asylum painted on the side) swerved by and the other car itself, barely avoided hitting a tree. When the van almost hit them Mika had swerved to avoid and accident but had turned too far and were now speeding into the forest.

"Look out!" MC shouted at the panicking Mika who was trying to avoid trees as they drove farther into the middle of the forest. Mika slammed on the brake right and…

**CRASH**

The two of them hit a tree. Luckily though the airbags popped out and the car had been going slow enough to avoid hurting them but pretty much destroy the front of the car.

"Crap, f--cking stupid idiot van…" Mika cursed out load.

"YOU CRASHED MY CAR!" MC said, upset.

"At least were not dead!"

"Yeah but now my car is!"

"Shut up about your stupid car! Let's see how bad it is wreaked.…"

"Yeah, okay."

The two then got out of the car and shall how it got smashed up against the tree.

"My poor car, it is broken. I don't think we will be able to drive it out of here…" MC stated.

"I agree with you," Mika responded also looking at the car.

"So… we start walking?"

"I guess so. Which way do we go?" Mika questioned.

MC looked around for a minute but was unsure, they were in the middle of a forest and had just been swerving the forest and there was no clear way to tell which way lead back to the leaf village (at least as far as he could tell).

"I have no clue," MC said, looking confused.

"Hmm… let's handle this in a sciencetific manner. I PICK THAT WAY!" Mika said pointing in a random direction.

"Are you sure that's the best way to handle this situation?" MC asked. But Mika had already started walking so he sighed and followed her. The two walked for sometime succeeded in getting deeper into the forest. They got annoyed, tired, hungry, and so on but kept moving.

"UGH! I CANT TAKE THIS ANY MORE!" Mika shouted.

"Just calm down, we will find our way out sooner or later," MC said, trying to calm the angry demon girl down.

"Yeah right, we've been wondering around for hours. I'm tired, hungry, and my feet are bleeding im pretty sure…"

"We will find our way out…" MC said. He looked around and then noticed something. Mika noticed this something to and got even more pissed.

"Is that your car? HAVE WE JUST GONE IN A BIG F--KING CIRCLE?!" Mika screeched. She then kicked the car out of anger.

"Hay kids, what are you doing wondering are the woodsy part of the park?" They heard a voice say. They then looked and shall a man standing there in a park uniform, and then noticed a large sign over head that said "Konoha Park".

"Do you mean to tell me, WE HAVE BEEN WANDERING AROUND IN THE PARK ALL DAY!"

"Yep. Look there's the trail out," The man then pointed at a dirt path that led to the town.

"Oh…I missed that…" MC said. Mika then screamed and proceeded to beat up the park man because she was angry, and he was there. After, the beating the two headed into town with Mika still mad and MC was still about crashing his car in the park.


	40. Kittenized with The Insane

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: Kitten-ized with The Insane  
Story Rating: If you wish to know the rating then please press the shiny, red, button located in the somewhere in the sewers of Chicago.

Notes: R&R! Want to know what's strange? This story is my second most popular, has a lot hits and only gets like 3 people who review the chapters regularly and yet has like 160-something review when this chapter came out… Out…

_**Also **_this is chapter 40, I think that in like 5 more chapters or something then it will become the story with the most chapters I ever wrote (I think the original Ask the mew mews had like 44 chapters before the so-rudely removed it from the website …)

Next will be a Who will win?! Chapter.  
**X. X. X. X. X. X.**

Mika and MC had gotten over the annoyance and anger of the day lost in the part due to a van running them off the road, and a week later were hanging once again. This time they were going to visit Wolf and Deity's home.

When they arrived Mika knocked on the door and, as one would expect, did not wait for an answer and instead busted the door down and went inside.

"How often have you made Wolf and Deity have to replace their front door?" MC asked looking at the knocked down door.

"Many…Many, times," Mika said with a smirk.

**WOOF, WOOF!**

The two looked over and saw a large, 188 pound, brindle colored mastiff, wearing a pink spiked collar, barking at them. Mika smiled and walked over and pet the dog.

"Hay Lola! Who's a good girl?" Mika said as she pet the large dog that wagged her tail and allowed Mika to pet her. But when MC attempted to approach Lola, the dog growled loudly and barked several more times causing the shapeshifter to back up.

"Why does she hate me?" MC asked looking slightly confused.

"It's not you; Wolf said she hates most guys."

Soon enough another bark echoed in the house, but this bark, you could tell, came from a smaller dog. And quickly a small beagle, wearing a Harley-Davidson collar, ran into the room and wagged his tail at the two.

MC approached this dog with a smile and pet it, saying, "Hay little buddy. You're a good boy Ringo."

"Wolf? Deity?! You guys home?" Mika called out looking around. No response.

"They must not be home…" MC said.

"Oh well…" Mika stated, but instead of heading out the front door she headed for the stairs.

"Where are you going?! This isn't our house…" MC whined, but proceeded to follow Mika further into the house.

"I wonder were the cats are…" Mika thought aloud.

"Well they have three of them; they must be here somewhere…"

As the two got into the upstairs hallway of the house they noticed something, the door to Wolf's room, which was always, at all times shut, was now wide open.

"That's funny… Wolf never leaves her door open," MC commented. The two walked in the room and looked around. They both thought that the room was … odd… just like its owner. The walls were bright pink in color but covered with anime drawings, pictures and wall hangings. There was a small, single person bed, pushed to the wall on one side. They were several "shelves" in the room (like metal shelves that you put boxes/containers (lidless) and put stuff in). They had a wide verity of things, including manga, Stephen king books, horror movies (mostly older ones), and lots of stuffed animals. On the other side of the room, near one of the two butterfly rugs on the white carpet, was an old dresser, with clothes thrown hastily inside of it, the doors left open. On top of the dresser sat a cage, where a small ball python sat on top of the bedding that filled the cage, underneath a small, plastic log decoration. The wall on the side opposite the door had a large white window (with butterfly curtains) that over looked the backyard of the house.

"Why are we in Wolf's room?" MC asked when they got in the room. Mika had walked over to see the snake, and ignored MCs question. That's when she noticed something…

"What's that?!" She looked and shall a bright red button on the wall that said 'DO NOT PRESS (idiots)'!

"Mika! Don't pres--!" MC began to plea but too little, too late as Mika had already pressed the button and a large blast of light surrounded the two ninjas.

"Oops… Maybe that was a bad idea…" Mika said. The light enveloped the two beings glowed around them, for a minute before disappearing. But when it was gone, the two supernatural beings where not looking like they normally did. Instead on the ground there was two kittens. The kittens were sitting on the floor, each in a pile of clothing that they had been wearing early.

Sitting in the pile of Mika's clothing was a small, white kitten with black tabby-cat stripes and yellow eyes. But its ears seemed to drop slightly and, along with several other features (like a longer-than-normal muzzle) the kitten had an appearance like a puppy, or a puppy kitten mix almost.

The kitten sitting were MC had stood, now sitting in his clothes, was a small orange kitten with a few darker orange, almost brown markings (mostly on its face).

"Way to go Mika… You turned us into cats…" MC said looking at his new kitten self.

"Well I didn't think the button would do that. And you're a shapeshifter, why don't you just turn back to normal?" Mika hissed. MC-Kitten nodded his head and closes his eyes and tried to shapeshift….but nothing…

"What the heck? I can't change back!" MC said, panicked.

"The button must have suppressed your powers or something. Do you think if we press the button again, it will turn us back?" Mika, the kitten, asked tilting her head slightly.

"I don't know, maybe. I mean, how would we even get up there?" MC meowed, looking up at the top of the dresser (which now looked unimaginably big) were the button was on the wall, next to the cage of Hebi the snake.

"We are cats… Can't we like, climb or jump or something?" Mika pondered.

**GRRRRRRRRRR…..**

Both the tiny, ninja kittens jumped at the sound of a loud, angry sounding growl. They looked over at the doorway and saw Lola who looked big when they were human, but now looking like a giant, monster-dog, when she was towering over them in their current kitten forms.

"Oh. My. God." Mika said looking up, freighted by the large mastiff.

"Why did they have to have a mastiff? Why not a Chihuahua?" MC asked, staring at the large dog.

**WOOF! BARK!**

And the two ninja kittens began running quickly as the dog chased them through the hallway upstairs.  
The two began darting down the steps when the noticed the noise of the dog paws running through the house came to a stop. They looked and shall the large dog and sat down at the top of the steps and no longer looked intent on catching the kittens.

"Lucky for us she is a very lazy dog…" Mika thought out loud.

"How can we get up there and press the button with that dog there?" MC asked.

"Were ninjas damn it! Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Yeah but all are weaponry is up in Woof's room (and would be too heavy to pick up in kitten form anyways) and since kittens had no fingers we can't make handsigns to use jutsu…"

"Well we got claws, and that dog is a coward, let's scare it away!"

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"YES!" Mika then ran up there stairs hissing and scratched Lola's nose when she reached the top. This caused the large cowardly dog then get up, bark several times, and go downstairs away from the two kitten-ninja's.

"Now what?"

"We try to reach the top of the dresser…?" MC asked. The two kittens walked into Wolf's room and (after a quick debate of who should climb), MC was attempting to claw his way up the front of the dresser. He was almost at the top and made a small leap towards the top, but he missed his target and ended up clawing the top, attempting to pull himself up on the spot in front of were Hebi the ball python's cage was. He managed to get himself up and stopped for a second to look the snake inside the cage.

_Hisssssssssssssss_

"I'm glad you're in there…" MC thought. He then walked over to the spot on the dresser top closest to the button on the wall.

He pressed his paw on the button and… nothing…

"…? Nothing's happening…" MC said confused.

"Well I pressed it the first time, maybe I have to press it again," Mika said, she then began climbing and jumping towards the dresser top and, unfortunately, when she jumped for the top she jumped to high and knocked over the snake's cage and rip and hole in the top of the net-like top of the cage at the same time.

"Uh-oh. That's not good…" Mika said as Hebi began creeping out his cage and onto the dresser top towards two the kittens.

MC hissed as the snake began moving closer, looking like he might attack the two of them.

"What if he bites us!?" Mika meowed as she backed away from the snake.

"He's a python, they squeeze things don't they?" MC asked, tilting his kitten head slightly. But, while he thought on the topic, Hebi had begun wrapping himself around the small kitten.

"GAHH! GET IT OFF OF ME!" MC shouted, panicking. Mika began to hiss at the snake and swiped at it which was enough to get the snake off. The snake then coiled defensively into a tight ball with its head and neck in the middle (something ball pythons do when threatened.)

Mika then, quickly ran at the button and the two kittens jumped off the dresser as the light began to glow around them. They landed on the ground below as the light began fading around them as they shifted back to human form. And, luckily for them, they had landed in the piles of clothes when they jumped off as kittens so when they changed back to normal they had clothes on.

"Hay! You're in my cloths!" Mika said and then looked down at herself and shall she was wearing MCs clothing.

"Well this is awkward…"

"Let's just get out of here, and then we can change back to normal…"

"Yeah, hold on…" MC then fixed Hebi's cage to how it should have been and put the snake back inside of it.

"I am never coming back here again…"

**X. X. X.**

Hope you liked it. AND just so you know, all the animals mentioned are real pets of my family's and how my room was described is pretty much what It really looks like (excluding, of course, the magical kitten button.)


	41. Who will win! Kakashi vs Jason V

Crack by Crazys!

Chapter name: Who will win?! Kakashi vs. Jason Voorhees  
Chapter Rating: K, K+, T, or M…

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, the Friday the 13th series or anything else copyrighted.  
Note: Hope you like it! This is the fifth who will win, next OC pairing for Insane OC arc will be Deity and Echo, my older siblings!  
**X. x. X. x. X.**

**-At the big fighting arena, with the nice-sized grass field in the middle-**

Above the arena, floating right above the middle of the grass field high up in the air was the large rock. Normally on this rock you would find the regular host and co-host, Mika and MC, but today was different. Today on the rock sat Deity and Wane.

"What are we doing here?" Wane asked slightly confused, with a stick of dark-chocolate pocky in her mouth.

"We are host the show today…" Deity responded.

"Where are Mika and MC?"

"There… tied up at the moment…"

-**ELSEWHERE-**

In a dark, metal style room, Mika and MC were tied with ropes that were connected to chains that connected to the walls. Their hands were restrained on each side so they could not make handsigns and their mouths were gagged. Both were wiggling and attempted (and failing) to escape.

-**At the stadium-**

"Oh… So what do we do know?"

"Introduce the person who is the none-Naruto character in today's fight," Deity said bored.

"Oh okay…" Wane said, pulling a small piece of white paper out of nowhere. "Today's opponent will be none-other-than Jason Voorhees of the Friday the 13th slasher/horror film series. Known for his trademark hockey mask and using a large machete, Jason supposedly drown in a place called camp Crystal Lake while trying to swim. He 'drowned' because the camp consolers who should have been watching him were somewhere having sex. After his mother went insane and killed all the consolers because she felt they were responsible for his death, it was shown that Jason was still alive and now protects the Crystal Lake area killing anyone who comes near. Jason has appeared in around 12 films, including a remake of the original and a crossover film with Freddy Krueger of the Nightmare on Elm Street films. Here is Jason Voorhees!"

Out of one of large wooden doors on the side of the arena came out Jason. Appearing as a fully-grown man, tall and muscular. He was wearing a pair of black shoes, worn-out black pants, a dirty shirt and jacket. He also wears his trademark hockey mask which covers his face, and holds a machete in the other hand.

"Now to fight the Crystal Lake killer is the jounin, Kakashi!" Deity said reading off the paper Wane was holding. The door on the side of the field opposite of Jason opened and Kakashi came out.

As the doors on the arena slammed shut Deity and Wane shouted, "Let the fight begin!"

With that said Kakashi was still, seemingly trying to analyze the large, silent, killer who stood on the other side of the arena. He pulled out several kunai and tossed them at Jason where they hit him in the arm. The killer looked down at his arm and pulled the kunai out, apparently not caring about his bleeding arm, and tossed the kunai back at Kakashi with power and surprising accuracy, barley missing Kakashi's head. Kakashi quickly made hand signs and created 4 shadow clones. The five Kakashi's charged in Jason's direction, who in response began to move forward as well.

When the two enemies met, Jason quickly impaled one of the Shadow clones with his machete, causing it to disappear in a puff of smoke. Two of the other Kakashi's attacked as Jason killed the one clone, one of the two shoved a kunai into Jason's head and the other shoved a kunai into his side. Though these two clones quickly meet there ends when Jason grabbed them and threw them into the nearby wall, both of them disappearing with a puff of smoke. While Jason finished off the last clone he failed to notice the sparking sound coming from behind him. He turned around in time to see Kakashi shove his lighting blade attack threw the lower-middle of Jason's chest. Blood began pouring heavily from the wound, seeing as Kakashi's arm had gone through part of Jason's body.

Jason's hand, which did not have the machete in it, went to trying to pry Kakashi's arms out of his chest. He attempted this for a minute before his arm fell to his side, and his head dropped down, seemingly dead. Kakashi waited to see if he would for a minute before he began to move his arm.

But when he did Jason suddenly moved again, apparently having lived through the attack. His free hand grabbed Kakashi's arm, holding it and Kakashi himself in place and the hand with the Machete swung and, before Kakashi could react, cutting Kakashi's head in half vertically, spilling even more blood on the crystal lake killer and the grass below the killer and the corpse.

**X. X. X. X. X.  
**Notes: The score is now 3 for the Naruto characters, 3 for opponents. (Counting the tie from the first Who Will Win as one point for each, and the Deity kill as a point for the Naruto characters, since she is a Naruto OC.)


	42. Death of a Shinobi

Crack by Crazies!

Story Title: Death of a Shinobi  
Story Rating: O.O? RATINGS, ARE YOU MAD?

Notes: For this chapter instead of my normally crack, I decided to try for something more serious! So enjoy the chapter, R&R, Flames will be used to punish the guilty. Also, I'm not dead!  
I know this chapter should be the next 'Insane OC' chapter, but know what? I don't feel like doing that right now so read this instead.

**X. X. X. X. X.**

The large area of open ground outside the gates that lead into the village known as Konoha was normally either empty expect for a few guards or had ninjas either leaving on missions that forced them to go somewhere far away or ninjas that where returning from said missions. But at the moment the field was alive with battle.

One the side of the field closest to village hidden in the leafs was many of the power ninjas, many of the people who were willing to risk their lives and limps to help the good people of the village. At the front of these ninjas was Naruto Uzumaki, the very powerful and young ninja who had a demon sealed inside him and who had the dream to one day become the leader of the village. He was helping the other ninja defend Konoha against an attack of enemy ninjas lead by none other than Sasuke Uchiha; one of the few remaining Uchiha's who swore revenge against his brother. But at the moment he was attacking the village where he had once trained and where he got his start as a ninja.

"I would let you hurt the village Sasuke!" Naruto shouted his voice full of anger towards the ninja he had been so desperate to save.

"You can't spot me Naruto! Move or die!" Sasuke shouted as he charged at Naruto.

When suddenly familiar music started to play and the ninjas all stopped fighting and moving and instead began to sing, with Naruto being the main singer.

We're no strangers to love

You know the rules and so do I

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of

You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

Gotta make you understand

Never gonna let you down,

Never gonna run around and desert you,

Never gonna make you cry, 

Never gonna say goodbye,

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've known each other for so long

Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it

Inside we both know what's been going on

We know the game and we're gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling

Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up, 

Never gonna let you down,

Never gonna run around and desert you,

Never gonna make you cry, 

Never gonna say goodbye,

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up, 

Never gonna let you down,

Never gonna run around and desert you,

Never gonna make you cry, 

Never gonna say goodbye,

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Give you up, give you up

Give you up, give you up 

Never gonna give, 

Never gonna give, give you up 

Never gonna give, 

Never gonna give, give you up

We've known each other for so long

Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it

Inside we both know what's been going on

We know the game and we're gonna play it

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

Gotta make you understand

Never gonna let you down,

Never gonna run around and desert you,

Never gonna make you cry, 

Never gonna say goodbye,

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

**X. X. X. X. X.  
**Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto series or the song (Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley)

You were just rickrolled by a piece of FanFiction, Sort of...  
Don't kill me. Please?


	43. Ninja Insurance Mayhem like me

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: Ninja Insurance (Mayhem like me)  
Story Rating: In order to figure out the story rating of this chapter please tell me the name of every war that France was part of in chronological order.

Notes: This chapter was inspired by the Allstate 'Mayhem' commercials, especially the 'Filthy Rich Executive' one (that's my favorite). If you haven't seen then just go to You Tube and search Allstate Mayhem ad and some should come up.

**X. X. X.**

Sakura assumed this day in the leaf village to be relatively normal. But having lived in this village for her entire life, she should have known better then to expect any day here to be 'normal'. Sakura was putting a new pack of shiny new kunai into her pouch, the pouch resting on a table, when Kiba jumped up on the table and swiped the kunai pouch away from Sakura.

"I'm the pick pocket who steals your supplies," Kiba said as he jumped away with Sakura's supplies.**  
**  
"Kiba? What the Hell?" Sakura shouted when suddenly large white letters appeared in the air spelling out,

_Mayhem is coming  
Inuzuka ninja-insurance._

"What's with the floating words?"

-**Elsewhere-**

Rock Lee was on the outskirts of the village, training like he spent most of the time doing. Not noticing 'Mayhem' and his dog approaching.

Rock Lee, hearing a branch crack underneath the foot of a nearby person, was about to turn around when suddenly a large dog (think- part 2 Akamaru) sprang up from nowhere, digging his front claws into Rock Lee's shoulders and biting the skin right below his neck.

"Gahhh! Akamaru, what is wrong with you?" Lee cried out as he tried to force the dog off of him.

"I'm the enemy who sneaks up on you when you're training. I'm not honorable enough to be bothered by attacking you when you have your back turned and since you don't have ninja-insurance you won't have anyone to come help you when your attacked so I kill you cause that's what I do," Kiba said jumping out of the trees and cutting Lee's neck before he had time to protest or fight back.

The dog and his owner then ran off before anyone noticed, leaving a trail of Rock Lee's blood in their path. When they were gone the same words as before,

_Mayhem is coming  
Inuzuka ninja-insurance.  
_  
Appeared floating in the air over Lee's corpse.

**-Elsewhere-**

Ino was walking down a less-traveled path on the leaf village, day dreaming and not paying attention. The path, an old dirt path, had large trees on one side. She had no idea that Kiba was behind one of large trees near the path.

"I'm the old tree that finally falls… on top of you… pusshhhh", Kiba began as he pushed the tree down and it fell, trapping Ino underneath causing her to cry out in pain and surprise.

"And if you don't have ninja-insurance no one will find you out here alone on this old path. So get Inuzuka ninja-insurance and be better protected from mayhem- like me!" Kiba said as he walked off ignoring Ino's shouts of anger and pleads for help. Ino continued to scream as the same words appeared, floating over her just like the last two.


	44. A Day of Insanity

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: A Day of Insanity  
Story Rating: THE RATINGS ARE ALL DEAD!

Notes: I'm bored… Also I had no idea where this chapter was going when I wrote it so it may have turned out more… different … then most of the chapters of this story.

- _Spoiler alert! -_ If you don't know who Tobi really is, don't read!  
**  
X. X. X.**

One fine, sunny day Naruto was skipping down the streets of Konoha humming to himself, looking quite happy. He was munching on a soft pretzel as he skipped.

"Hay you!" A mystery voice called out to the hyperactive ninja.

"Yes, oh great invisible voice?"

**BAM**

A large bolt of lightning shot down from the sky, turning are hero into a smoldering pile of sludge and brunt remains on the street. His soft pretzel however, remained unharmed and landed on the dirty road below.

"OH NO! Naruto has been sludge-ified! I, Tsunade the greatest medical ninja ever, shall fix him!" Tsunade shouted as she ran up; grabbed Naruto's remains, and then ran off.

Soon Akamaru ran onto the road and grabbed what remained of Naruto's soft pretzel.

"HAND OVER THE PRETZEL!" Choji, the overweight ninja, shouted as he ran over and attempted to take the baked food item from the ninja hound. After several moments of struggling Kiba ran over to the two of them…

"Leave Akamaru alone and let go of the pretzel tubby!"

"Make me!"

"Stun-gun no jutsu," Kiba shouted as he pulled out a stun gun and repeatedly shocked Choji, sending him failing on the ground twitching wildly. Kiba laughed wildly as he continued to shock his fellow leaf ninja.

**-At the Hospital-**

"HA! I have fixed him!" Tsunade shouted looking at the fixed Naruto.

Naruto, whose skin was now brunt and dripping because it was still partly sludge, lifted his arms up and shouted, "IM FIXED!" But when he did that the vibrations of his scream caused one of his sludge arms to fall off.

"You IDIOT!" Tsunade shouted, using her monster strength to punch Naruto in the gut. But that powerful a punch instantly caused Naruto to re-sludge and turn back into a quivering pile of sludge and broken, brunt remains.

"Oops, but I am still Tsunade, greatest medical person hokage EVER! I can fix him… again…!" The old lady hokage screamed so loudly it could have been heard for 11.3 miles away, and not an inch further.

**- 11.3 miles away-**

"Did you hear that?" Tenten asked around confused.

Hinata, who was hanging out with Tenten but was miserably 11.3 miles and one inch away, could not hear the noise and punched Tenten in the face, breaking her nose.

"Don't make up such stupid stories, you weak bitch!" Hinata snapped angrily.

"Yes master. I'm sorry master," Tenten said scared, as she bowed down to Hinata, while her nose dripped and turned the ground below her brown. That's right brown, because Tenten, unlike normal people, bleeds chocolate syrup.

"SYRUP!" Choji shouted as he ran towards the chocolate syrup dripping on the ground.

"DENINED! Spear no jutsu!" Kiba shouted as he jumped on Choji's back and forced a spear threw his gut, pinning him to the ground, away from the chocolate.

"NOOOOOOO! I CAN'T REACH THE SYRUP!" Choji shouted, before he started to both sob and scream wildly while Akamaru trotted over and began to lick up Tenten's chocolate syrup blood. Kiba, in the mean time, stood on the back of the pinned Choji, laughing like a crazy person.

Suddenly…

Wild Madara Uchiha appeared!

Go, Rock Lee!

Fight? Item? Party? Run?

Item!

Go, Master Ball!

Shake…  
Shake…  
Shake…

DING!

You have caught Madara Uchiha!

Would you like to nickname the newly caught Madara Uchiha?

T  
O  
B  
I

Is Tobi the nickname you would like to give it?  
Yes? No?

Yes!

"Yes! I've caught a Madara Uchiha!" Rock Lee shouted, holding up the master ball. He promptly did his 'Good Guy pose' giving a thumps up, while he smiled with his teeth 'pinging'.

"Gasp! That boy has pinging teeth syndrome! Nurse, grab him quick! We need to get him to a hospital!" A medical ninja shouted as he grabbed Rock Lee's arm. His nurse quickly grabbed Rock Lee's other arm, and together they dragged a very unwilling Rock Lee to the hospital, 11.3 miles away.

**- Back at the hospital-**

"Ha! I've done it again. Man, I'm great," Tsunade said as she looked at Naruto, who she had fixed… again… This time Naruto's injured body"

"Thanks for fixing me old-lady Hokage!" The sludge colored Naruto said as he walked out of the hospital and took a nice breath of the fresh air.

"Kumquats! KUMQUATTTTSSSSSSS!" The rouge ninja Deity, shouted as she whipped out a machine gun and proceeded to shoot the newly fixed Naruto many times.

"Silly Deity, sub-machine guns are for kids!" Kin, the sound ninja said, as she took the sub-machine gun from Deity and ran off, an angry Deity chasing her.

Naruto's body one again reduced to a pile of quivering, bullet holed-filled pile of sludge and brunt, broken, hole-filled remains. But this time, a bowl of ramen was also in his remains. It sat perfectly on top of his remains, not having spilled a drop.

"RAMMMEEEENNNNNN!" Choji shouted, running at Naruto's remains.

"Never! YOU WILL NEVER EAT AGAIN!" Kiba shouted as he ran up and smacked Choji with Gaara, the visiting sand ninja.

"DIE YOU STUPID FLOWERS, How dare you make the world more beautiful!" Gaara shouted as he used his sand to crush the life out of Kiba and Choji and then took the ramen for himself.

Suddenly, dark red chakra surrounded Naruto's sludge body and the nine-tailed fox's chakra instantly healed Naruto's body and turned him back to normal.

"HA! I'm back to normal! I'm fixed, I'm fixed!" Naruto shouted happily, throwing his arms laughing wildly. Hashirama Senju, the first Hokage, walked up to Naruto and handed him a box wrapped up in bright purple wrapping paper.

"Here's a gift Naruto, I'm glad your better," Hashirama said as he handed the box to Naruto.

"Thanks Bob!" Naruto said, taking the box.

"I'm not Bob, I'm Hashirama Senju, the first Hokage..." Hashirama, sighed and walked away.

"Whatever you say Bob, I wounder what's in it," Naruto said as he held the box up to his ear and shook it several times to listen to it.

**Tick**

**Tick**

**Tick...**

**BOOM**


	45. Innocent Curiosity

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: Innocent Curiosity  
Story Rating: I am, for once, going to rate this chapter! **GASP**! This chapter is rated "**T**" for, how do I put this? Discussion of male anatomy and slight inappropriate language, I guess you could say.

Notes: Its 2:30 in the morning, I'm wide awake for some reason, I can't sleep so I write while looking at akatsuki fan art.

**X. X. X.**

It was a relatively normal day at an Akatsuki hideout. This particular hideout was deep a forest that was home to many dangerous, deadly animals, they lived particularly around the edge of the forest. That fact combined with persistent rumors of the area being haunted or cursed made most normal people or ninja stay far away and made the area a perfect spot for an akatsuki hideout. The members where spread around the area, engaged in various activities; Itachi was training in the field, Kisame was swimming in a nearby lake, Deidara was away on a mission with Tobi, Pain and his six bodies where who knows where doing who knows what, Hidan was doing a ritual and Kakuzu was counting money, and Konan was in one of the rooms dealing with an unwanted guess.

Wolf, the semi-psychotic demon from the hidden leaf, was in the room with Konan sitting on one of the couches.

"How do you keep getting in here?" Konan asked, sighing. Wolf had manged to find her way into the Akatsuki's various hideouts several times. But because of how this story is, each time they killed her, she simply re-spawned and kept coming back. They had decided that she didn't pose much of a threat and didn't seem to want to give any of their important information but just to be safe Pain had ordered them to have someone keep an eye on her when ever she found her way into one of their bases. Today that job was Konan's.

"Does it matter?" Wolf asked, looking at the blue-haired women.

"You are so annoying!" Konan commented before sitting down on of the other chairs in the room. There was silence in the room for a few moments before Wolf spoke up.

"Say Konan, can I ask you a question?" Wolf asked.

"What?" Konan said with an annoyed tone.

"Kisame is like half shark or a shark man or something right?"

"Yeah..."

"Did you know that sharks have two... you know whats..." Wolf asked, blushing. She wasn't used to talking about things like this with other people.

"They have two penises, right?"

"Well there called 'claspers' on the shark but yeah."

"So why did you share this fact with me?"

" Well Kisame is part shark, so do you think he has one or two... sex organs?" Wolf asked, she was feeling slightly awkward but she was curious and wanted to see what Konan thought.

Konan stopped and looked forward, thinking. She wasn't sure, she had never given this much thought, but know that her 'guest' had brought it up she was thinking about it. She was grossed out about thinking of Kisame's sex organ(s?) but she admitted she was now curious as well.

"I'm … not sure," Konan responded. Before either of the girls could say more, they could hear Kisame in the other room, having returned from his swim.

"That was a good swim..." Kisame's voice could be heard saying from the other room.

"I'll be right back..." Konan said as she walked into the other room...

"Oh hay Konan... Konan? Konan what the hell are you do- Why are you grabbing my trunks! KONAN, WHAT'S GO- (eeeep) My trunks! What the hell?" Kisaame could be heard crying out from the other room.

"He's got one!"


	46. FAA Part 1

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: F.A. A. Part 1  
Story Rating: I gave you a rating last chapter, be happy with that….greedys…

Notes: I love you all- AND I WOULD LIKE TO THANK DEITY, FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS STORY CHAPTER. R&R- Flames will be used to burn the souls of the innocent!  
**X. X. X. X.**

The people of the ninja world thought they were safe, they thought the day was going to go like any other day but they were wrong! Mwhahahah!

-**At Ichiraku Ramen-**

Naruto was sitting at one of the bar stools, eating the food he loved some much- ramen! He was too busy slurping away at the ramen to notice a Dark Force approaching him…

_BAM_

With a swift hit to the back of the head with a frying pan (SKILLLLEEEETTTT), the nine-tails container was knocked out, his head falling into his bowl of ramen. He remained knocked out as the Dark Force grabbed him…

-**At Team Asuma's Training Field-**

Choji was sitting on the sidelines, watching Ino and Shikamaru practice their respective techniques. He had already practiced enough for today but was not going to leave until his teammates were ready. Little did Choji know that he was in danger, a Dark Force sneaking up behind him. Suddenly two hands where on Choji, one trying to hold him still, one holding a rag over his mouth. He felt himself getting weaker as he breathed into the rag while trying to escape. Soon his struggles stopped and he was being taken away from the field, his absence unnoticed by his friends.

-**At one of the Akatsuki's hideouts-**

Kisame was lounging in one of the quiet, relaxing rooms of the hideout. He was trying to get over a rather traumatic experience that had happened to him, Konan had ripped his trucks off for a reason unknown to him. He was, needless to say, embarrassed and was now relaxing. Until he noticed the Dark Force enter the room.

"No! NOT YOU! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Kisame shouted before screeching like a little girl and passing out on the floor.

-**At the "Prohibition Bar" in Konoha-**

Anko had the day off from her ninja duties so she was doing the most reasonable thing possible- bar hopping. Yes, she spends her days off drinking and spending "time" with men she meets. This was the 17th bar Anko to been to today and she had consumed quite a large amount of alcohol already and was in the process of getting drop dead drunk. That's why, when the Dark Force approached her, she was not in the best state of mine.

"Ohhhhh hhaayy, wasss uppp gudd lookinnnn?" Anko said to the dark force before passing out in front of it from all the drinks she had.

**-At the Inuzuka Vet Hospital place thing-**

Kiba was the only person in the waiting room at the vet that day. He was sitting on one of the chairs, but unlike most people who simply read a magazine or something similar while waiting for the vet to finish their animal's check up, Kiba was munching on the free dog bisects provided for the animals. He didn't take note of the Dark Force entering the room and sitting in the chair next to him, nor did he notice the force slip an unusual treat into the bag of bowl bisects he was eating. Soon enough, after he ate the slipped treat, Kiba was out cold in the chair.

-**At the Hot Springs-**

Konohamaru was doing something that most people frowned upon. He was at the hot springs, outside the gate, peeping into the women's side of the hot springs. He had managed to go unnoticed by the women inside and was focused on peeping. That is, until he noticed a voice behind him…

"What are you doing?" A female voice behind him, Konohamaru shot around quickly and saw a very attractive, blond-haired women in a bikini looking at him.

"I'm sorry! Don't hit me!" Konohamaru cried out, putting his hands on his head.

"It's okay, I'm going to hurt you. In fact, I want to show you something. Come with me," The hot women called out as she began to walk away. Konohamaru quickly began to follow her, totally unaware of the fact that he was caught in the Dark Force's genjutsu.

-**?-**

The six people who had been either tricked or captured in some way by the Dark Force found themselves in a strange place. They were in a large room, very dark expect for six large spotlights shining down on them. The six of them where on chairs, in a circle in the room, but the first five where still knocked out and Konohamaru was still under the genjutsu. Soon the five who had been knocked out were starting to awaken.

"What the Hell? Where are we?" Kisame, the shark man cried out from the chair he was on. Despite the struggles of the people on the chairs, they were unable to escape.

"Who did this? What's going on?" Naruto shouted, looking confused.

**"**Why am I in a room with you people?" Anko snapped. Her head was beating like a drum from the hangover she had.

**I DID THIS**

"What the ^&%* was that?" Kisame swore.

"Who's speaking? What's going on? …. … I'm hungry," Choji complained.

_**QUIET YOU FATASS**_****

"HAY!" Choji shouted, he wanted to attack whoever had said that (despite the fact that he couldn't see whoever was speaking) but was unable to move. "Why can't I move?"

**We used industrial strength, jutsu proof glue to stick you to chairs!**

"What?" Five out of six of the group shouted.

"Hay, what's up with the kid?" Kiba asked, looking at the delusional Konohamaru.

**You forgot to release the genjutsu!**

_**Oh… Hold on...**_

Soon enough, Konohamaru was like the rest of the group, glued to a chair and totally confused.

"What? Where did the hot babe go?" Konohamaru asked.

"Show yourselves!" Naruto cried out.

"Or are you scared?" Kisame added.  
_  
__**Quiet everyone!  
**_**We have brought you here for a reason…  
**_**That's right! You are all …**_


	47. FAA Part 2

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: F.A.A. Part 2  
Story Rating: Whatever you feel like

Notes: Again, I would like to thank my loving older sister Deity (Sealed In the Sea) for helping with this story.  
**X. X. X. X. X.**

-?-  
**  
**_**That's right! You are all…  
**_**Food Addicts!**

(Insert anime sweat drop on everyone here)

"You kidnapped us because you think where addicted to food?" Naruto yelled.

"Let us go!" Kisame shouted, quite annoyed.

Soon everyone was protesting, demanding them to be set free. Suddenly they were quieted when a loud band of thunder happened along with lightning in the background.

**SHUT UP!  
**_**You idiots brought this on yourselves!**_

After that announcement all the spotlights, expect the one shining on Kisame, shut off.

"What happened to the lights?" Konohamaru shouted from his spot in the darkness. But another large light came on soon after, lighting up a empty spot of the floor.

"What's going on?" Choji cried out, confused.

Soon two figures entered into the spot light that was aimed at the empty spot in the floor.

"Wolf and Deity?" The group cried out in unison.

"Why did you guys kidnap us?" Naruto asked.

"Because your food addicts," Wolf said as if it was a very simple answer.

"Did we all ready tell you that, idiot?"

"Besides, it's not your turn! SO SHUT UP!" The two sisters began to walk towards Kisame; the light followed them, keeping them visible to all. When they reached Kisame there was a poof of smoke and Kisame was gone.

-**Elsewhere-**

Kisame suddenly found himself, not in a large warehouse type room, but in a relaxing room. He was now lying down on a soft, red-padded chair, with Wolf and Deity on large, purple puffy chairs, a notepad in each of their hands.

"What the heck?" Kisame asked, confused.

"So Kisame," Wolf began, "Do you think there is some incident, in your childhood perhaps, that lead to this cannibalistic fish-eating habit of yours?"

"What? My childhood was fine," Kisame said confused.

"DENIAL!" Deity shouted, jumping up on the seat of her chair, pointing at Kisame.

"Kisame, you can't get better if you're not going to talk us!"

"I don't need to get better! You don't fix something that's not broken!"

"YOUR BROKE, ACCEPT IT!" Wolf shouted.

-A Little while later-

"(sniff) and that's when my mother made me eat the f-fish, and I (sniff) think that's w-what caused me to start eating so many fish (sob)," Kisame said, weeping slightly.

"What a poor, poor soul," Wolf commented. Deity scribbled something on her notepad, and looked at Kisame.

"I think we've figured out what's wrong with you," Deity said. She held out the notepad which had "You're an idiot and a cannibal" written on it in large, black letters.

"What? I'm not a cannibal, I'm part human!"

"We said it and so it shall be!" The sisters said together.

"WHAT? That doesn't make any sense!"

"Too bad," Wolf said and suddenly, POOF!

The three of them where back in the room, and the three of them where back in the room, where the rest of the group was. There was a spot light on Wolf and Deity, standing in the center of the circle, but there was no longer a light on Kisame.

"What did they do to you?" Anko called out.

"Do you guys have sex?" Konohamaru shouted loudly.

**SLAP**

"OW."

Kisame was unable to answer the questions because shiny, silver duck tape was over his mouth, so anything he tried to say came out muffled and useless.

A new spotlight light up the room, this one was shining on Kiba.

"Uh-oh, I don't like this," Kiba said as Deity and Wolf began to walk towards him. Soon there was a poof of smoke and the three were gone.

**-Somewhere-**

Kiba found himself in the center of a room, no longer stuck to a chair. He looked around and shall he was surrounded by bowls of dog kibble and dog treats. Standing outside the circle of treats and food was Deity and Wolf, with strange smiles of their faces, their hands behind their backs.

"Go on Kiba, eat it," Wolf encouraged.

"Yes, it's all for you," Deity added.

"Umm… Okay," Kiba said, unsure before reaching out and picking up a large dog bisect and eating it.

**BAM**

Kiba found himself in pain as he was smacked with something. He looked up to see Deity holding a rolled, up newspaper with spikes on it.

"BAD DOG! That's not for you!" Deity shouted.

"But said it was for me!"

**ZAPPPP**

Wolf shocked Kiba with the electrical cow prod she had hide behind her back before saying, "Bad dog, don't question us!"

"But you said-" **Smack**

"Bad dog, no talking back."

"B-but you said… I AM NOT A DOG," Kiba began again before being hit on the head again by Deity.

"I'll be quiet now…" Kiba said, looking scared.

"Good dog! Here's a treat…" Wolf said, tossing a piece of broccoli to Kiba, who caught it then just stared at it.

"Broccoli, really?" Kiba questioned. A short zap and shooting bad dog later by Wolf had Kiba eating the broccoli. But shortly after that there was the loud noise of Kiba's stomach growling, he had been out of it for a while and was hungry.

"Awww, is the puppy hungry?" Deity asked in a voice that one would speak to a small animal or child with. She walked into another room for a moment and came back with a dog bowl full of steamed vegetables.

"No thanks, I'm not that hungry…"

"YOU'RE GOING TO EAT THIS, EVEN IF I HAVE TO SHOVE ALL OF IT DOWN YOUR THROAT," Deity shouted, grabbing Kiba by the front of his shirt.

"A-All right! I'll eat it!" Kiba said, and quickly began to eat out of the bowl when Deity put it in front of him.

"Good dog!"

**X. X. X.  
**Stay tuned for part 3, coming to a fanfiction near you!


	48. FAA Part 3

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: F.A.A. (Food Addicts Anonymous) Part 3  
Story Rating: ?

Notes: Thanks you (again) to Deity-onee-san (Sealed in The Seal) for helping me with this chapter and all the FAA chapters. R&R, Flames will be used to boil the organs of my victims.  
**X. X. X. X.**

**-?-**

Deity and Wolf had poofed back with Kiba back to the rest of the group; the only light was again on the sisters. Kiba, like Kisame, could not talk because of the duck tape now over his mouth. This time Konohamaru did not call anything out when the girls poofed back, not wanting to be slapped. Another light came on, shining on Anko.

"Shit…" Anko muttered, seeing the light turn on and seeing the sisters beginning to walk towards her.  
Poof!

**-That other place-**

Anko found herself chained to a chair, with a device forcing her to look forward and holding her eyes open. In front of her were Deity and Wolf, standing in front of a blank movie screen.

"To help you with your dumpling problem, me and my sister found this great educational video for you to watch," Deity explained.

"LET'S ROLL THE FILM!" Wolf shouted as she ran back and started the film. Deity moved out of the way of the screen as words started to appear…

"THE EVIL OF DUMPLINGS"

Appeared on the screen in large, black letters.

A dark, male voice began to speak on the movie, with various pictures of dumplings and other things. The voice began to say, "Dumplings are the most evil of all dough-based food products. They often contain small bits of under-cooked rat and monkey organs, but that's not all. Dumplings are in no way healthy for you, they even shorten your life span by ten years if eaten more than 5 times. Dumplings can sometimes poison or hurt you as they often are made with rat poison and have shards of glass cooked into them, this can cause the following conditions: Vomiting, internal bleeding, external bleeding, STDs, irregular menstrual cycles, hallucinations, and in some rare cases have been known to come to life and strangle or maim the attempted eater…

**-1 hour and .22 seconds later-**

"… and that is how the dumpling has caused all of the Great Shinobi Wars that have happened and will no doubt cause more if this evil is not stopped. THE END"

"No more dumplings, no more dumplings, no more dumplings…" Anko muttered to herself, her eyes twitching, even after she was unhooked from the machine.

"I wonder if we permanently damaged her," Deity said.

"I hope so!" Wolf said as the three poofed away.

**-?-**

Soon the pair of sisters was once again in the middle of the circle. Anko was lying where her chair had been, in fetal position sucking her thumb. The bright light came on, this time shining over Choji.

"I'm so scared…" Choji said in a small, frightened voice.

"Come on, be brave Choji!" Naruto called out as his friend and the two crazy people poofed away.

**-Wouldn't you like to know?**

**-**Choji was sitting in a soft padded room but before he could think…

"Horror vision jutsu!" Deity called out, putting Choji under a genjutsu.

-What Choji thinks he's seeing-  
_  
"Huh? Where am I?" _Choji thought when he looked around. He shortly realized he was in the leaf village, but no one was around…"CHOJI! Why did you eat me?" A voice called out from behind Choji. After screaming, Choji turned around to see Shikamaru standing there… But it wasn't really Shikamaru; he was see-through for some reason.

"S-Shikamaru! What's going on?" Choji asked, confused.

"Why Choji? Why did you have to eat me? Now I'm a ghost, what a drag…" The Shikamaru ghost said.

"But I didn't eat you!"

"I know you ate me Choji! Don't lie!"

Before Choji could keep arguing another voice spoke up.

"I know I looked good, but looking good enough to eat is just an expression!" Ino's voice called out. Again, Choji turned around and saw Ino's ghost standing there.

"Ino! Not you too! I didn't eat you guys," Choji cried out.

"Yes you did! WHY CHOJI WHY?" Shikamaru-ghost yelled.

"Of course you did. Why else would we have these bite marks?"

Choji looked closer at his two ghost friends and noticed chunks of them missing.

"B-But…"

"CHOJI! How could you? Hidan was supposed to kill me! Not you, you just messed up the plot! How can I get Kurenai pregnant if I'm dead?" Asuma shouted, as his ghost appeared.

"No! NO!" Choji shouted as began to run through the empty streets of the leaf village. Until, that is, he ran into another ghost…

"DAD?"

"Choji, I know where Akamichi clan members but your own father? Really?" The ghost of Choji's father said, crossing its arms.

"NOOO!"


	49. FAA Part 4

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: FAA (Food Addicts Anonymous) Part 4  
Story Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Notes: My sister and I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
**X. X. X. X.**

Deity and Wolf stood outside the room where "Don't release the genjutsu yet, I think we should leave him in there for a little while," Wolf commented, looking in threw the window on the door that lead to the padded room where Choji was inside, under a genjutsu that made him believe he had eaten everyone.

"Okay, so now we need to help the last two," Deity added.

"Yes, let's go help them!" Wolf said smiling, as she poofed them away.

**-?-**

The sisters appeared in the middle of the circle, where all but Naruto and Knohamaru were had all ready been "treated."

"Where's Choji? What did you do to him?" Naruto called out angrily, when he saw that Choji was not back.

"Choji's not what's important right now," Wolf responded.

"Yes, what is important right now is you two," Deity added as two spot lights came out above, lighting up the spots were Konohamaru and Naruto where.

"I'm scared Naruto," Konohamaru admitted when he saw the lights.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine…"

"Oh, you all be okay! We are not here to hurt you, we are here to help," Wolf said in a voice that sounded like it was supposed to be reassuring but was just creepy.

"Let's go," Deity commanded as she and her sister began to walk towards Konohamaru and Naruto. POOF!

**-We don't even know…**

**-**Naruto and Konohamaru where quite confused when they appeared elsewhere. They were not in a small room with Wolf and Deity, like they expected but in a rather large room, with several hot, fresh bowls of ramen on a table. It appeared almost like a normal dining room in a quiet, happy house.

"I'm confused, where are they?" Konohamaru said, confused and looking around. There was no sign of the sisters in the room.

"Their jutsu must have messed up! Were free!" Naruto cheered.

"And look, some fresh ramen!"

"We'll being kidnapped, did make me hungry…"

With that said the two quickly took two seats by the table and (using the chopsticks that were sitting neatly next to each bowl that was set out) began to eat. But as they took the first few bites, they noticed something… As they chewed they felt a small electrical shock, like you get from static electricity, nothing to pain but just a bit annoying. But when Naruto took another bite…

"GAHHH!" Naruto cried out in pain, putting a hand on his mouth.

"What's wrong Naruto?" Konohamaru asked right before taking another bite and then crying out in pain himself. Both of them had felt a painful shock in their mouths, much worse than the static electricity type shock they felt in the beginning.

"Did you feel that?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah…"

"Maybe it's the chopsticks, they must be like designed to shock us."

"That could be it," Naruto replied. They both then picked up a new pair of chop sticks and took another bite of ramen and felt another painful shock, but this was still mild. After several more bites both had fallen to the floor, the painful shocks were worse now and had spread through their entire bodies, and was no longer just a second but lasted several seconds.

"RAMEN, why have you betrayed me?" Naruto cried out, throwing the ramen bowl into the wall, and watching it burst upon impact.

"I'm never eating Ramen again!" Konohamaru shouted, and threw his bowl as well. But he threw his straight down and it splashed out, shocking him when some of it splashed on his feet.

"Same here!"

**-?-**

"Hmm… Sister, do you think there cured now?" Deity asked.

"Yes, I think it's time to send them all back!" Wolf agreed.

-**At the leaf village-**

Naruto and Konohamaru appeared in the middle of road, on the ground, screaming. This caused many to stop and stare but none to approach until Iruka walked up.

"What's wrong"? Are you guys okay?" Iruka asked the two boys.

"You could say we had a rough day," Naruto responded, standing up.

"How about I take you guys out for some ramen?"

"NOO!" The two boys shouted, before they ran away screaming, leaving Iruka (and everyone in the area) confused.

**-At the Ninja Bar-**

Anko appeared on the floor of one of Konoha's bars, a bar well known for being a place where ninja hung out, as they gave great discounts to them. She was curled up into a ball, muttering to herself.

"Anko? Are you okay?" Kakashi asked, as he approached Anko.

"No more dumplings, no more dumplings, no dumplings mama…" Anko continued to mutter to herself.

"Wow, she must be really drunk…"

**-At the Inuzuka Vet Hospital place thing**

**-**Kiba reappeared in the same chair he had been sitting in before he was kidnapped. He looked around and noticed the bowl of dog treats he had been munching on before…

"AHHH!" Kiba screamed as he grabbed the bowl and threw it across the room, causing the glass to shatter and spill dog treats everywhere. He then pulled out a kunai and began to stab and rip the treats apart.

"Kiba? What are you doing?" Kiba's mother asked as she walked in and saw her son destroying the treats.

-**At an Akatsuki hideout****-**

Kisame appeared in the middle of the Akatsuki hideout, more specifically in the meeting room, during a meeting.

"AHHHHHH" Kisame screamed when he appeared in his chair, and saw a fish on a plate resting on the table. He fell on to the floor, in fetal position, sucking his thump.

"Kisame? Where were you? What's wrong?" Pain yelled as Kisame continued to suck his thump. The Akatsuki appeared confused, with several the members laughing at Kisame.

"Can I get a new partner?" Itachi questioned.

-**With Wolf and Deity-**

"We did good!" Wolf said with a smile.

"Are we forgetting something?"

"I don't think so…"

-**With Choji-**

"NOOO! WHY DID I DO THIS?" Choji continued to scream, curled up on the floor of the soft padded room, still under the effects of the genjutsu.


	50. 50th Chapter Award Show Special

Crack by Crazys!

Story Title: 50th Chapter Award Show Special  
Story Rating: TV-14

Info: I'm back, and here's a chapter I planned to write a while back but never got around to actually writing. This chapter is the 50th chapter of Crack by Crazys so I figured that I should write a special piece, an award show! I'm going to try and write at least some-what regularly again so I will try to update this story more often. The next chapter after this will most likely be a who-will-win so I'll setup a poll with possible battles soon. Enjoy!  
**Random Words Meant to Separate Notes from the Real Story**

The sun was shining and the birds were chirping on this beautiful, wonderful day full of magic and happiness… No, I'm just kidding. The sky was black with dark storm clouds and the wonder and magic in the air had caught the flu and had to rest. Not that it mattered to the well-beloved characters of the Naruto world, who were currently either willing or un-willing attending a special award show hosted by Wolf.

Everyone was in nice outfits, suits for guys and dresses for girls, and seated in seats in a large auditorium of some sort. Those who did want to really attend were bound, gagged, and tied to seats with thick, indestructible chains. Everyone was facing a large stage, which was currently blocked from view by a lovely, blood-red sheet. On the stage, behind the sheet was Wolf, who was dressed in a lovely dark red, knee length dress, which she despised. She would rather have just shown up in a t-shirt and cargo shorts but her sister, Deity, had insisted (coughdforcedcough) that she wore a dress. Wolf was going over her lines one last time, standing next to a long table covered in awards, which consisted of black bases some not-so-normal golden figures on the tops.

"Alright, so I'll start by telling everyone that it's the stories 50th chapter, and that in honor of that I'll be giving awards to the people who have had certain firsts or some sort of achievement that made them worthy of an award." Wolf muttered to herself, trying to ignore the fear-induced pain in her stomach. Very suddenly the curtain was pulled back, revealing Wolf who stared at the audience with a deer-in-headlights look.

"Why is the curtain open? I'M NOT READY!" Wolf shouted, her stage-fright kicking in. She dropped to the ground, curled up into a ball, and fainted. Two ANBU quickly walked from the side of the stage, picked up Wolf, and carried her off stage. Deity, dressed in sleek purple and black dress, walked on stage and looked out at the audience.

"Since my little sister forgot that having stage-fright makes it hard to host a show, I'll host the show until she wakes up," Deity said in a clam voice, as if she had been expecting this to happen. There was a small poof, and a white envelop appeared in Deity's hand.

"Today's first award is for the first character to appear. In CBC history, over 50 characters have appeared, but only one can be the first. Who was the first character to appear in the series? AND DON'T YOU DARE GO BACK TO CHAPTER ONE AND CHECK YOU FILITY BASTARDS!" Deity shouted, improvising her last line. She ripped the envelop to shreds, but somehow left the card inside in perfect shape. "The winner is Gaara…Woo…" The audience seemed to share Deity's excitement or lack thereof.

White smoke appeared on stage in a large poof, with Gaara in the middle, bound, gagged, and tied to a chair. Deity went over to the table and picked up one of the trophies, which had a gold figure giving a thumps on the top.

"Here yah go," Deity said, throwing the statue, which almost hit Gaara's head but was caught by his sand.

"…Can I go now?" Gaara asked, his sand putting the statue in his lap.

"If you mean you can you go back to your spot in the audience, the answer is yes," Deity said, and with a poof of pink smoke, Gaara was back in his seat.

"Why was the smoke pink? Who changed the color of the poof smoke?" Deity said, looking around. Wolf suddenly stumbled back on stage, awake but dizzy.

"I'm okay now, thanks Deity…" Wolf said, gesturing for her sister to walk off stage. Deity walked off stage without another word and Wolf looked at the audience, some of whom seem interested, some of whom seemed like they would rather be getting a root canal.

"The next award goes to a very special person. The first person to curse! Yes, that one special person who reminds us of why this story has a T rating! And that person is…" Wolf exclaimed, before realizing she didn't have the envelope with the winner's name. "Umm, where's the envelope?" Wolf said, checking her pockets. She felt the familiar feeling of nausea caused by not knowing what to say in front of a large crowd.

"I… I can't find the envelop with the winners name," Wolf said, wishing she could sink into the ground. What she didn't notice was a large metal box appear above her. It fell hard, landing on Wolf's foot, earning a loud scream.

"Who put the card in a safe?" Wolf shouted pushing the safe away, and sitting down so she could grab her throbbing foot. After making some more noises and pain and making a mental note to track down and killer the person who put the card, she opened the safe and took out the card.

"The winner is the one and only foul-mouthed Tayuya!" Wolf said, motioning to an empty spot on the stage. She waited a minute but nothing happened. "I said, Tayuya!" With another quick motioning of her arms, there was a poof of pink smoke and Tayuya appeared. She handed Tayuya an award that had a golden figure on top, with an open mouth and a painted-black, censer bar covering it.

"I would ask if you want to say a few words, but honestly no one cares about you so…"

"Hay, you little-" Tayuya began to say, before getting cut off by her sudden teleportation back to her seat.

"Now while I go get my foot fixed, welcome the one and only Mika to host the show!" Wolf said, as she hobbled off stage. Mika ran out of stage, wearing a nice black pants suit, caring an envelope.

"This next award goes to the character who has appeared more than any other. Remember, if you don't appear that often, just remember it's not that we don't like you, it just means you're not nearly as awesome anyone else," Mika said, smirking slightly before tearing the envelop open, tossing in away with much thought.

"Winner is the one, the only, Naruto Uzumaki!" Instead of the normal poof on the stage, everyone could hear Naruto cheering loudly and running towards the stage. Mika stood the stage, waiting for him while holding the award, with had numerous gold figures on the top.

"Ha! I won an award, believe it!" Naruto shouted. Naruto arrived at the base of the stage, ran up the steps, stepped on the discarded envelop, tripped, and promptly fell off the stage, landing on the ground with a loud bang.

"Naruto!" Mika cried out, running down to check on him, "Say something to me Naruto! Are you okay?"

"Where'd all the pretty birdies come from?" Naruto babbled.

"I'm gonna take you to the doctors, someone else can present the next award." Mika said, picking Naruto up and running off stage with him. For several precious moments the stage was empty and an awkward hush fell over the crowd. Deity sighed and walked out of stage, mumbled something under her breath.

"Alright, apparently giving out awards is more dangerous than it looks so, I'll give the next one out," She said, pulling a card out of her pocket, screw envelops.

"The next award goes to the violent bastard who has killed the most people, way to go psychopaths… The winner is… me…" Deity said, looking at the card. She walked over to table and picked up an award which had one gold figure holding a sword, standing next to another golden figure that was lying down, dead. She stared at the award for several moments before throwing over her shoulder in disinterest.

"OW!" MC cried, rubbing the top of his head as he walked on stage. "I'm come up here to present the next award, and you hit me in the head. Thanks, really."

"Shut up and present the next award," Deity said, handing him a card before she walked off stage. MC, who was looking snazzy in a new tux, looked at the card.

"The next award is for first OC (not created by the author) to appear in the story! Whose that lucky someone who got their character to appear first? The winner is MikaZuki Blood-AngelofDarkness, whose OC Mika was the first to appear in the beginning of chapter nine! Three cheers for Mika!" MC said, picking up an award that had a silver figure on the top.

"…" The audience remained silent at MC's request for them cheer.

"HE SAID CHEER DAMNIT," Mika said, as she was poofed onto the stage. The crowd cheered in response, not wanting to suffer the same fate as the last person who pissed Mika off. Poor Joe, he was a nice guy too…

"That's better," Mika said, taking the award, before poofing back to medical ward to be with Naruto.

"Last but probably not least, is the award for most deaths! Yes, which unlucky person has died more times than anyone else? That poor person is… Naruto! Yes Naruto has died a total of three times throughout the series. He was hugged to death in chapter two, killed by Hinata in chapter three, and blown up at the end of chapter 44! Many others have died once or twice but Naruto is the only lucky guy to have died more than two times," MC said as Naruto was poofed on stage. He had thick, white bandages around his head and several more various spots on his body. MC handed the award (which was topped with a dead-looked golden figure) and Naruto smiled and cheered.

"Hay, I won two awards, sweet!" Naruto exclaimed jumping up and down on stage. As he landed from one of his jumps however, the floorboards below him cracked and broke, causing Naruto to fall through, landing in a dark space with a sickening crack.

"That sounded like it hurt…"

"That's because it did," Naruto's voice replied weakly.

Suddenly Wolf appeared on stage, with a cast around her leg and a pair of crutches for support.

"Well that's all for the awards show everyone! Hope you enjoyed it! Stay safe…" Wolf cheered, adding the last part in as she glanced down at Naruto who appeared to have fainted.

**Random Words Meant to Separate Notes from the Real Story**

Well, there it is! Did you like it? Please, tell me! Also, I do have a complete list of how many times every character has appeared, so if you have an OC in the story and your curious as to what place there in just message me or leave a comment and I'll tell you!


End file.
